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You would think it’s parenting, given my occasional gripes and whines about loss of freedoms.
But actually, it’s not. The hardest thing I have ever done is seeing a student through his two years of upper secondary school education.
Here’s a photo of him and my younger self:
First, some context. He lives in one of the poorest neighbourhoods in my country. His mother was imprisoned then; he has never met his father before; and he was raised by his grandmother who had her hands full raising several grandchildren.
This explains why I had a soft spot against him. The odds were overwhelmingly stacked against him.
He wasn’t a juvenile delinquent, but because his home lacked structure, he could come and go as he pleased. Nothing serious in the grand scheme of things. Fishing with his mates. Hanging out. In Singlish, we call this lepak.1
This meant that his attendance wasn’t regular. At most 1-2 days per week? The thing was, he had to achieve semi-regular attendance to fulfill all his course requirements and have a chance to enrol into post-secondary education.
Not to mention that teenagers his age would start to experiment with drugs. I was adamant that he wouldn’t go down this route of self-destruction.
NOT UNDER MY WATCH!
Ya, in hindsight, I don’t know what exactly possessed me to have this maniac-like obsession. But I started to give him morning calls.
Usually, he would pick up my calls. That didn’t exactly translate into him coming to school, though. He went back to sleep. Or he stepped out of the house but decided to play arcade games with his friends. Or he wanted to come to school but lost his money. It’s like he was cursed. Many barriers prevented him from stepping onto the school campus.
Which evolved into me going to his house occasionally to pick him up. Having gained some hands-on experience, I understood why his grandmother had given up on him. He slept soundly, dead as a log, and I had to expend all my energies - be it mental or physical - just to get him to sit up.
If you ask me why I did that, I thought about his problem objectively. There was no one at home who could wake him up for school. If it meant that I had to be the one to bear the burden, then I could step up to the plate and help out his grandmother. At personal expense to myself, no doubt, but hey, I just didn’t want him to take drugs.
There was once where he was so angry with me that he flung his pillow or blanket so violently across the room that it knocked down the baby safety gate in front of the kitchen. I was fuming mad too but decided not to say a word. He did come to school that day, so I will count that as a victory.
I embedded him as part of my morning routine for the greater part of two years. Every morning from Monday to Friday.
He did graduate from my school, albeit not with a full certificate. I did my best for him though and have no regrets.
And nope, I don’t think I would go this far for any student anymore. I have two kids of my own haha.
What’s the hardest thing you have ever done?

Footnotes

  1. lepak has been included in the Oxford English Dictionary, and you can find its meaning here.
this territory is moderated
60 sats \ 1 reply \ @SatsMate 7 Jan
For me, completing the Honolulu marathon on December 14th last year. I almost passed out at mile 17.
I kept my head high, persevered and remembered how much training and work I put in for it all. It was incrediblly difficult but gratifying in which words can't describe.
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Congrats on finishing the marathon! Was it a spilt-second decision to buck up and carry on or did you psych yourself for some time?
I should get back to your podcast one of these days. Seeing your name made me remember your podcast haha
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Watching my brother in law die of pancreatic cancer before the age of 50 and leaving my sister a widow.
It wasn't easy to watch, and im sure it was worse for her.
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I’m so sorry to hear that. My mum passed on due to cancer; she lived quite a relatively painless existence even in her final days, so I was spared this agony.
Do you still talk to your brother-in-law sometimes? In your heart or something?
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Yea, he was very artistic and im lucky to have something that he made to remember him by.
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I can relate.
Hugs
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Thank you.
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That is very young
I have a distant relative who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer recently (age 68)
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36 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 7 Jan
If we could only clone you and make every teacher in the world have the level of commitment and dedication you do to your craft.
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Some colleagues would feel that I’m placing my energy in the wrong places hahaha. Thank you for the validation xP
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Your story's great. My dad has stories like that and I hold people like you and he in the highest regard. It's hard enough to deal with our own shit everyday, much less take on someone else's.
Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do was admit that it was time to euthanize our dog and try to comfort her through the end.
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This sucks. I cannot imagine making this kind of decision at all
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sounds like the plot of a wholesome Hallmark tv movie lol, you went above and beyond there , do you know how things turned out for the kid?
for me, I have done many things that could be called hard - moved countries on my own when I was 19, learned languages, changed jobs, and started businesses, but hands down, easy mode, the hardest thing was just having a single kid and it was fairly constantly hard for about 3 years, then less hard for like 2 years, then much easier after 7 years.
Not everyone will find it hard, but as I have mentioned before, my first kid just was a nightmare sleeper for, literally, years and super emotionally sensitive (mildly on the spectrum) and her birth coincided with the loss of my best-ever paying job, a total fresh start in a new country, starting a private label business from scratch and only being able to earn freelance.
so it's a cluster of things that I could just simplify as saying 'having a kid' lol the second was much easier though, a total breeze. so I don't want to put anyone off having kids, because if you do manage to not go insane, you will learn more about yourself and grow in more ways than you ever thought possible. think of it as a personal growth challenge
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I messaged him Happy New Year last week and he responded haha.
What kept you going throughout those hellish 3 years?
Do you have to do a lot of remediation work because she is slightly on the spectrum? Figure out good routines n ways to respond to social cues n stuff
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that's nice, I believe positive influences like that really do have an impact on people.
as for getting through it, I didn't have a choice lol, getting mentally stronger is the only way. some things that helped though were my consistent routines of working out, listening to podcasts with smart people (helps with learning mental frameworks etc) and I was also in a focused learning phase with my new business and running my new blog. I would savor the nights when I could write in peace when everyone was asleep.
I think another key factor was not having a traditional job to go to - that lack of sleep and disruption, plus a fixed 9-6 or whatever would have been it. I was too tired to function and I feel sorry for anyone grinding out a normal work schedule with young kids. course, not having a predictable income also adds to stress, but hey, we can't have it all.
for remediation work, yes, basically it was a lot of time figuring things out and learning new habits, the impact different foods and things make is quite tangible. fortunately, my wife was a child psychologist so she knew what things to look out for, a regular person would just think she was a somewhat over-emotional kid. she's a champ now though and it's fiat debasement stressing me out lol
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Sorry, you wrote so much but I’m just gonna zero in on one aspect.
How’s your blog doing? Is it a hobby or a side hustle?
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well, the first blog I started way back in like 2007 and it was about expat life in Moscow, I would share stories, musings, and how-to guides, like how to get work visas on the grey market. I had thousands of unique visitors each month and probably should have transitioned into youtube in 2012, but hey ho.
After moving to Bulgaria, I started a website all about how to product source, find items, import them, and sell them on amazon, basically all about private labeling. It was also quite popular and I would sell my services and it was a good supplement to my income.
sadly I became disillusioned and a bit disgusted with the whole space of 'sell stuff on amazon influencers' and I shut down the site and deleted my whole mailing list after I tried (and failed) to move into the health and wellness space
I like writing, as you can tell, but there's no point in a blog these days really, few people want to read long-form and the time and energy required are quite high.
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48 sats \ 3 replies \ @Cje95 6 Jan
Since I’m single and have no kids for me its easily accepting my health restrictions. I went from being able to do whatever whenever to having to see if I can physically/mentally do it. Plus I just straight up became unable to do fun stuff I used to like going on roller coasters, ice skating, and sky diving among others. But at least I'm not dead so 🤷🏼‍♂️
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You are a trooper, man.
Do you still mourn over the loss of this fun identity sometimes?
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48 sats \ 1 reply \ @Cje95 7 Jan
Its kind of a catch 22 because the last surgery was right before I turned 21 so its not necessarily mourning who I was but the loss of what I could have been. Since it resulted in me spending 3 extra years in college where I am is entirely different than where I would have been since I went from class of 2017 to graduating right as the pandemic struck in 2020. The health issues have definitely affected how social I am I used to be a social butterfly and now I'm a huge introvert.
For the most part I try and chalk it up to two entirely different people though. It helps me separate the two and not get stuck in the endless loop of counterfactual thinking. While I tend to be different from most people and benefit from it in general when you get stuck in a loop you will fall into a dark dark place.
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It must have quite the journey to come to terms and accept your current self for who you are. That’s a good tip - separating identities. I do that too - Before Fatherhood and After Fatherhood.
Don't laugh. I’m serious.
I also think that extroversion is over-rated. Thoughtful measured introverts are in xP
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I installed my first towel rack on Saturday!
Used gorilla glue, screwdriver and allen wrench
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Well done, you.
I’m embarrassed to say that my wife is handyman in my household. I just don’t have the aptitude for hands-on installation. Neither do I have the inclination to learn haha
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