Its kind of a catch 22 because the last surgery was right before I turned 21 so its not necessarily mourning who I was but the loss of what I could have been. Since it resulted in me spending 3 extra years in college where I am is entirely different than where I would have been since I went from class of 2017 to graduating right as the pandemic struck in 2020. The health issues have definitely affected how social I am I used to be a social butterfly and now I'm a huge introvert.

For the most part I try and chalk it up to two entirely different people though. It helps me separate the two and not get stuck in the endless loop of counterfactual thinking. While I tend to be different from most people and benefit from it in general when you get stuck in a loop you will fall into a dark dark place.