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96 sats \ 4 replies \ @stack_harder 7 Jan \ on: What’s the hardest thing you have ever done? FiresidePhilosophy
sounds like the plot of a wholesome Hallmark tv movie lol, you went above and beyond there , do you know how things turned out for the kid?
for me, I have done many things that could be called hard - moved countries on my own when I was 19, learned languages, changed jobs, and started businesses, but hands down, easy mode, the hardest thing was just having a single kid and it was fairly constantly hard for about 3 years, then less hard for like 2 years, then much easier after 7 years.
Not everyone will find it hard, but as I have mentioned before, my first kid just was a nightmare sleeper for, literally, years and super emotionally sensitive (mildly on the spectrum) and her birth coincided with the loss of my best-ever paying job, a total fresh start in a new country, starting a private label business from scratch and only being able to earn freelance.
so it's a cluster of things that I could just simplify as saying 'having a kid' lol
the second was much easier though, a total breeze. so I don't want to put anyone off having kids, because if you do manage to not go insane, you will learn more about yourself and grow in more ways than you ever thought possible. think of it as a personal growth challenge
I messaged him Happy New Year last week and he responded haha.
What kept you going throughout those hellish 3 years?
Do you have to do a lot of remediation work because she is slightly on the spectrum? Figure out good routines n ways to respond to social cues n stuff
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that's nice, I believe positive influences like that really do have an impact on people.
as for getting through it, I didn't have a choice lol, getting mentally stronger is the only way. some things that helped though were my consistent routines of working out, listening to podcasts with smart people (helps with learning mental frameworks etc) and I was also in a focused learning phase with my new business and running my new blog. I would savor the nights when I could write in peace when everyone was asleep.
I think another key factor was not having a traditional job to go to - that lack of sleep and disruption, plus a fixed 9-6 or whatever would have been it. I was too tired to function and I feel sorry for anyone grinding out a normal work schedule with young kids. course, not having a predictable income also adds to stress, but hey, we can't have it all.
for remediation work, yes, basically it was a lot of time figuring things out and learning new habits, the impact different foods and things make is quite tangible. fortunately, my wife was a child psychologist so she knew what things to look out for, a regular person would just think she was a somewhat over-emotional kid. she's a champ now though and it's fiat debasement stressing me out lol
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Sorry, you wrote so much but I’m just gonna zero in on one aspect.
How’s your blog doing? Is it a hobby or a side hustle?
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well, the first blog I started way back in like 2007 and it was about expat life in Moscow, I would share stories, musings, and how-to guides, like how to get work visas on the grey market. I had thousands of unique visitors each month and probably should have transitioned into youtube in 2012, but hey ho.
After moving to Bulgaria, I started a website all about how to product source, find items, import them, and sell them on amazon, basically all about private labeling. It was also quite popular and I would sell my services and it was a good supplement to my income.
sadly I became disillusioned and a bit disgusted with the whole space of 'sell stuff on amazon influencers' and I shut down the site and deleted my whole mailing list after I tried (and failed) to move into the health and wellness space
I like writing, as you can tell, but there's no point in a blog these days really, few people want to read long-form and the time and energy required are quite high.
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