It's no secret that the average girl's dating experience differs world's with those of the average male, and I'm growing quite jealous of them.
Why? Well, my sister - which is average in terms of looks - gets catered to like she's some kind of celebrity: She has her own little "harem" of candidates which take her out, pick her up and drop her (and occasionally even her friend) off whenever she asks them- and it's all on their bill, they're even happy, to do so...
Going for a brunch? A coffee? An ice? It's on them.
Whenever she goes out without members of said harem, she can practically party without spending a dime, when walking around the city she gets asked out every once in a while (but often declines), and then there's her socials: Heaps. Heaps of wildly interested guys trying to land a chance with her, and guess what? She's single. With all those option, she's single.
Well, good for her, right? Well... Here comes the sick part: she keeps (practically most of) those guys around and "on the hook" simply to juice them for their attention and favors for a while, then ghosts them or tell them that there's no "click", only to have him replaced the same day with the next candidate- It's wild, and not in a good sense.
And then there's little Fabs: an average guy who - on a good day - gets a smile, albeit a forced one, and on most days not even a look.
Of course, with the above example of my sister, that's no surprise: those girls literally have lists of willing guys waiting for her every whim, why bother pursuing guys yourself?
Witnessing my sister's experiences and behavior in dating and guys has also put me off of pursuing girls myself, not because I think that it's the baseline, but because I've heard similar- or worse from other girls her age in the breaking room at work, the gym, and her friends when they're over, it simply puts me off of taking any chances.
Hm, although it wasn't planned, it turned into a little rant, but arrgh: I had to type it out and get it off my chest real quick...
It simply sucks, you know? Seeing her get everything and anything without bending a finger, while I'm left for dead.
this territory is moderated
I used to think the way you do, but tables turn after you hit your 30s. After that, males, especially those with stable incomes and decent personalities, have a much easier time in dating than females do.
That being said, my personal advice: get better, not bitter. Work on your own self betterment rather than dwelling on the injustices of life.
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get better not bitter
Can we say this to the left wing community w/o threat of violence and cancellation?
Affirmative action or DEI: get better not bitter
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actually DEI is : don't get better, get more and more bitter
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excellent advice: get better not bitter.
I am an expert of getting bitter
The best revenge is living well
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Can’t recommend and agree with this enough, certainly gets better in your 30s and I look back never once regretting working on oneself : however I have regretting doing dumb shit, big parties etc under peer pressure or the guise of seeking value from others I do not value.
Build a life with values you want to live in , she will find you at the right time.
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Yes, that's right, be better, don't be bitter and don't give up on the situation, everyone who tries will definitely get results in the future, maybe in the next 2 or 3 years maybe the income will be big, I personally will not give up to prove that I can be like they. We must continue to be enthusiastic, this man never gives up trying.
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Oeh, yay... Only ten more years before the tables turn, awesome.
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step one: less sarcasm
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153 sats \ 51 replies \ @anon 12 Aug
step two: job
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Someone's keeping a tab on me, huh?
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81 sats \ 49 replies \ @anon 12 Aug
step three: get your own place
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Yeah buddy, you come over to the Netherlands and find a place to build something up, it's not gonna happen without taking up debt for 40+ years.
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Huh. I was reading this and thought to myself, 'Man, being in the USA really must suck!' I never expected you to be from the Netherlands.
As a fellow Dutchie, I'm really surprised by this. I'm older now (>35 years), but I had a very different experience between the ages of 14 and 23 (when I met my wife). It was always easy to get a date, and we were treated as equals, either treating each other or splitting bills (going Dutch). Is there a difference between big cities and small towns? I'm from a small town myself.
Get out of the Netherlands
If you starting improving now, you will get positive results sooner than you imagined.
The importance is trying to improve vs actual improvement.
Women respect effort.
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Women respect effort.
Yeah, ah-huh, just as my sister does... Not 😆
Sorry, I had to, but I get what you're after.
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Good thing you aren't shooting for your sister then!
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Stack harder Lift weights Climb mountains Break the laws of physics
Easy
You can just decide to build yourself into a valuable person on a shorter timeline if that is what you actually want
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41 sats \ 1 reply \ @nichro 12 Aug
The years will come faster than you think heh
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And then you'll want them to slow down...
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Treat women well. Be generous but don't get used. She will not end up in a relationship with any of these guys. She will just use them for money and favours.
There are a lot of great women out there that aren't playing this game. Just be the best Fabs you can be and you will find one of the good ones.
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Stop complaining, lift weights, stack sats.
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Is it true that - in the streets - they call you Jimmy "The Great Jacked" Song?
It's an honour to read your words on my simple rant.
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561 sats \ 10 replies \ @k00b 12 Aug
I don't think you need to be put off by it. If you know what it looks like, you should be able to avoid it. Your sister is a sample size of one, and online dating reviews, like all reviews, are prone to more negative experiences being self-selected for sharing.
Women that want honest partners are every bit as famished as men that want honest partners. It's just a lot of work to find each other in our culture right now.
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It's just a lot of work to find each other in our culture right now.
Like finding a darn specific atom in the milky way...
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196 sats \ 7 replies \ @k00b 12 Aug
Learn the game so you can spot when it's being played and honest people will shine like stars against the game's background.
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Living well is the best strategy regardless of the game
maybe I'm wrong, first time for everything
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Hm, and how have you managed to "learn" it?
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69 sats \ 4 replies \ @k00b 12 Aug
You don't have to be a player, but begin playing/sparing. Try to date. Try to make people find you attractive.
I didn't date much in my life, as I've always been a serial monogamist, but I enjoyed The Game. It's as an easy to read narrative about how some people play the game. In general, there's a psychology to dating and it's important to learn how women think about men. The pickup artist stuff is like a highly transmissible, ELI5 crash course to dating psychology. But, it can go much deeper and in its ethical forms it's like a non-PC, dating-specific version of Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.
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Hm, I try to stay away from PUA "tactics" as far as possible, it's borderline manipulation in my eyes...
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31 sats \ 1 reply \ @k00b 12 Aug
imho this logic can get one in a weird, hopeless place. A lot of PUA isn't about manipulation unless dressing up nice and learning how to demonstrate/present your value is manipulation. And, even if it were, learning about manipulation isn't equivalent to practicing it. You need to learn about manipulation to defend against it which is what I thought this post was about.
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110 sats \ 0 replies \ @drlh 13 Aug
forewarned is forearmed.
It sucks to get manipulative habits though.
See. You'll definitely be just fine. Respect.
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honesty is scarce, more scarce than usual
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501 sats \ 7 replies \ @ChrisS 12 Aug
That's the nature of the female male dynamic. Embrace it or you risk living a bitter life. Embrace rejection, embrace the pain and learn from it. At the same time focus on building a great life by yourself. Get fit, get rich, lose your vices and be content by yourself. If you focus on becoming the best you that you can be you will have many options when come to your love life.
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very good advice
hard part is follow thru
but still great advice: get better not bitter
women hate bitter angry guys and can you blame them
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Yeah the ever-improving male yada yada, I simply wanna live my life and be okay ffs...
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Don’t be surprised if women are not attracted a main goal of being “to live life and be ok”. Be more ambitious in all aspects of your life.
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start with pull ups and push ups
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Oh I'm good on that, I'm lean and fit, not that muscular, but lean and fit.
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then add muscle or more challenging workouts
keep improving
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Thanks, I'll have some words with my bicep and tell him to grow! 🙂🤠
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Don’t get discouraged also don’t limit yourself. Explore its billions of women out there. I am not sure where you live but value yourself stick to the standards you want and take an open minded approach and just put yourself out there. Make friends and connections and never know when the one will come and you will settle.
Plus it’s easy for women to get this type of attention the real challenge is which of the men will stay with her forever. Women drive the bus when it’s about access to sex but men hold the power for relationships. Keep that in mind! (Not speaking in absolutes but in general)
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It seems great now, but the tragedy is they have been brainwashed into thinking that they will have this attention forever. Unless they marry and have a family, the only attention a 45 year old woman gets is from her cats, and men she doesn’t want attention from.
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These childless cat ladies vote for abortion Democrats
Great graph
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Oh wow, that's a mood-enhancer!
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Men want youth+beauty because fertility. Women want height, dominance and wealth. You can compensate for height with the other two.
I wish I could find the chart, but it plotted perceived attractiveness of men by women with height and income. A 5’6” man had to make $400k to have the same attractiveness as a 6’4” guy making $60k
It’s all just biology brother.
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Hypergamy is real and alive
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Then you're around the wrong kind of women, and probably shallowly looking past homier good women. Just saying.
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It's absolute lunacy to me why one would try and hit those boxes for the chance of having a family (and a very good chance at being divorced later on)
It's all on the man huh? Biology my ass, we're all the same in this day and age, aren't we? That's what they like to claim, ain't it? They constantly want the pros of everything while cutting out the cons, and if you say something about that, you're suddenly not "manly", I'm growing sick and tired of this society.
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141 sats \ 0 replies \ @ChrisS 13 Aug
You are an individual. Don’t let Society force its norms on you especially one who’s views are so asinine that men and women are the same. And yes “it’s all on the man” as you say. You come across very whiny and have a defeatist attitude. A lot of people on this thread have given you very good advice and instead of embracing it and trying something different you have whined and complained and been sarcastic on every comment. That’s no way to live life and no way to have a girl be interested in spending time with you. And as others have pointed out woman are more perspective than men and can sense that sort of thing even if you think you are hiding it in front of them.
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Yeah “we are all the same, men and women” is the big lie. You saw Bitcoin, now get out of the matrix.
You deserve a good woman and a family, but you have to become a man first.
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Be careful. Don't go thinking how unfair life is or other such thoughts. Life is unfair and you need to play the game of life with what you were and are randomly allocated.
Constantly improving yourself as other said is important. If somebody tells you that you are fine as you are, tell him/her "thanks" and then tell to yourself "but I will get even better".
And about the girls, don't waste too much money on them. You can talk to them and go out with them, but don't let them use you. This doesn't guarantee success, but it will help you greatly cut your losses in this hostile environment.
How old is your sister? When girls first discover the power they have they are very tempted to abuse it. I think this subsides with time.
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32 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs OP 12 Aug
Hm, my idea of a date? A walk through the fields and forests, and a cup of fresh ice cream from the farm to go with it.
If that's not good enough, it ain't a match anyways.
And she's turning 22.
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22 She will peak around 24 or 26 then start looking for a husband around 28
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Please just read "The Rational Male" by Rollo Tomassi and all will be clear. This is the dating manual for the modern man. Highly recommended.
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10 sats \ 0 replies \ @anon 12 Aug
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The Type Of Attention Guys Give Is Off The Charts. #646696
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Hm, is there something wrong with you? Did Mommy bath you too hot as a kid?
I write from observation, you managed to come up with some fantasy story in order to "come back?" at me, did I hurt your feelings or what?
The "reality" you're describing is only reserved for a very small % of men. 😆
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You are only 20/21. And honestly, young sir, you are very young. And so let me tell you this; I wrote this to be ugly. It absolutely is ugly and NOT funny. You are correct. I did that on purpose, because I want you to understand how UGLY the vast majority of women are going to find what you said and your attitude. And I want you to see how grave the danger is of going down that path. If you can see that, it'll help you get a good woman. But you're young, and I'm going to tell you this; I have zero doubt you are not giving yourself nearly enough credit. Jimmy Song and the others are right; work out, get a job, etc. I'd add a few more things; learn how to lead a group of people and retain them without high turnover. Jimmy Song doesn't like managers, but done right they are extremely important. And two, observe more. You haven't observed enough. Go out, look at men. I promise you, you will be shocked by how many average or ugly men are with gorgeous, beautiful, or pretty women. It is not a small number. Also, your sister is being a complete piece of shit. Women who do that are. And not all do. But my point stands; women are dealing with high domestic violence, and still we find the courage to date men. I promise you, you can find the courage to date women despite the ones like your sister. And I promise you good women are out there. And I promise you they will find your original post ugly and a huge red flag. And I promise you, you got more going for you than you realize.... a little confidence, brought on by the above types of actual proof of work and actions, will help you a lot. Also, how many women did you ask out in... the last month? If you want as many as your sister has men... you're kind of just as bad. If all you need is one good one... get a sales job and learn how to be rejected. It gets easier. Did I mention you're really fucking young? You've got time. Other than that... your post starts off with an admission. "I'm jealous." And that is where you lost my sympathy. Jealous is a character flaw, a choice to feed or not to feed, and a choice to act upon or not. It is NOT something ANY ONE ELSE is obligated to address for you. It is yours, and yours alone, to conquer, and nobody owes you shit to help fix it. Especially not women. Anyway... I think you're gonna be fine. Maybe take up running when these... they sound like intrusive thoughts, when they start going. Or martial arts. That shit is fun.
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Agree
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Not a big fan of parody, I take it.
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Great post. I've read all the comments to this time. Here's what I haven't seen....
  1. Women are treated well by most men who are normal gentlemen. Just spending time with a nice lady is a big boost. However the end result can be unwanted sexual advance or careless sex that leads to unwanted children and abortions or psychological energy exchanged with many suitors that leads to depression.
  2. As a man you are seeing the side of women that you do not want. This is good. Love your sister and pray for her to find a good mate for life. As for your self do the same. Love you.
  3. We live in what is called the Kali Yuga or Age of Quarrel...
This is a Cro-Mags Album Cover from 1986. I was 16.
The Age of Quarrel is an age where all right and wrong is confused and what is good is diminished. It's also a time where men who can decentralize and find morality and righteousness will prevail because this is favored by God.
This human life is not for living like a dog, pig, animal of slaughter or a predator. It's an age where new kings are born and men and women will seek the best of the best which is a very long time chain into wisdom.
For me I have always lived better by living a spiritual and transcendental life. God is there, here and all around. Ask for the truth and look for the longest written chain of wisdom. I've found it too be the Vedas.
Here's a passage from the Bhagavad -Gita:
Bg. 2.2 DEVANAGARI SANSKRIT श्री भगवानुवाच कुतस्त्वा कश्मलमिदं विषमे समुपस्थितम् । अनार्यजुष्टमस्वर्ग्यकीर्तिकरमर्जुन ॥ २ ॥
TRANSLITERATION śrī-bhagavān uvāca kutas tvā kaśmalam idaṁ viṣame samupasthitam anārya-juṣṭam asvargyam akīrti-karam arjuna
SYNONYMS śrī bhagavān uvāca—the Supreme Personality of Godhead said; kutaḥ—wherefrom; tvā—unto you; kaśmalam—dirtiness; idam—this lamentation; viṣame—this hour of crisis; samupasthitam—arrived; anārya—persons who do not know the value of life; juṣṭam—practiced by; asvargyam—that which does not lead to higher planets; akīrti—infamy; karam—the cause of; arjuna—O Arjuna.
TRANSLATION The Supreme Person [Bhagavān] said: My dear Arjuna, how have these impurities come upon you? They are not at all befitting a man who knows the progressive values of life. They do not lead to higher planets, but to infamy.
PURPORT Kṛṣṇa and the Supreme Personality of Godhead are identical. Therefore Lord Kṛṣṇa is referred to as "Bhagavān" throughout the Gītā. Bhagavān is the ultimate in the Absolute Truth. Absolute Truth is realized in three phases of understanding, namely Brahman or the impersonal all-pervasive spirit; Paramātmā, or the localized aspect of the Supreme within the heart of all living entities; and Bhagavān, or the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Lord Kṛṣṇa. In the Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam this conception of the Absolute Truth is explained thus: vadanti tat tattva-vidas tattvaṁ yaj jñānam advayam brahmeti paramātmeti bhagavān iti śabdyate. "The Absolute Truth is realized in three phases of understanding by the knower of the Absolute Truth, and all of them are identical. Such phases of the Absolute Truth are expressed as Brahman, Paramātmā, and Bhagavān." (Bhāg. 1.2.11) These three divine aspects can be explained by the example of the sun, which also has three different aspects, namely the sunshine, the sun's surface and the sun planet itself. One who studies the sunshine only is the preliminary student. One who understands the sun's surface is further advanced. And one who can enter into the sun planet is the highest. Ordinary students who are satisfied by simply understanding the sunshine—its universal pervasiveness and the glaring effulgence of its impersonal nature—may ... More https://prabhupadabooks.com/bg/2?d=1
For the longest chain of wisdom, the Vedas go back to an oral tradition of more than 5,000 years ago. This transcendental knowledge directly goes to 500 years ago of the modern Bhakti movement. This chain is on the literary language written for the Kali Yuga where men have less and less capable memories due to the bombarding information of promoted ignorance.
It's an open source knowledge. It's readily available with practice to you.
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10 sats \ 3 replies \ @Golu 14 Aug
Good! Are you indian?
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No, I'm an American.
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34 sats \ 1 reply \ @Golu 15 Aug
It feels great to know! Many of American friends also love indian spritual texts.
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Yes, there is a very long chain of wisdom in the Vedas and the practice of Bhakti Yoga is exactly what is needed to match this Kali Yuga.
America is a very sacred place and it needs the chain of texts to balance out the blessing.
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Why do you think we hired a smoking hot babe to be the producer of the Bugle Weekly?
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because she was the best candidate you interviewed?
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20 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs OP 13 Aug
Wanna lay in a good word for me?
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Boost us on Fountain and simp for her is the best way to get her attention
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42 sats \ 1 reply \ @Golu 13 Aug
I really appreciate how you mentioned your plight! Good wite up!
I've been thinking the same for along time why do girls get this attention while mAn are also very attractive! 😉
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Thanks!
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I married my high school sweetheart after high school and we celebrate our 19th anniversay this month. Four kids together. We stack sats and talk shit about the state together. This is the way.
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Yeah it seems unfair when you are a high drive 23 yr old man…but imagine growing up with a magic power that gets you everything, and you never have to worry about anything…no matter what, everything you want is comes to you as if it’s magic. (This is why women tend towards magical thinking, astrology and other nonsense.). Then one day, you no longer have magical powers. If you aren’t married, you are lonely, don’t know what to do and think everyone is out to get you - when the reality is you are just a normal person without the magic.
It’s a curse, especially in the modern world, where women are brainwashed into wasting their youth till their magic is gone, to become democrat voting childless cat ladies on antidepressants.
If your sister isn’t too attractive, maybe she can figure things out in time. The 9s and 10s usually aren’t going to make it.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs OP 13 Aug
Hm, the poor little girls: they had years and years of candidates lining up, but ended up choosing to party and riding a buffet of dicks rather than "just" one, yeah, no, I get what you're trying to say, but they aren't an innocent "product" of something, they know very well what they're doing and why.
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Without a strong father, church, community, and add in fiat time preference…it’s not their fault man. Also get out of the cities.
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The market will eventually regulate itself, lol women have their bubble phase in their 20s and everyone is bidding up to trying to get her and she's looking for the best deal, but very few women know when to get out at the top, like many traders and can get rug pulled later if she gives away the coochie too easy
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I 50% agree with the consensus here:
  • Agree: Women's behavior is Not a bug, it's a Feature. You are the product of several hundred generations of women aggresively exploring and picking their best option. Just as you're the product of several hundred generations of men persevering and innovating. You need to learn to fit into this inexorable facet of life.
  • Disagree: I think many posters here misunderstand how dramatically the field has tilted in gender relations for people under 25, especially with social media / online dating. The level of mis-match is civilizational threatening and is not salvageable from a bottom-up exhortation to "man up". Where we go from here is an open question, but telling some young 20's kid to "stack sats" is not it.
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A feature huh? I get that women are selective, but negating the vast majority of man, while simultaneously stating that every woman is deserving of love and a good husband, no matter how ugly, unhealthy and unkept she is? That's blatant Cherry-Picking.
I get that it was necessary back then, other dynamics, other reality: the village / tribe / group often depended on the men to make things right again whenever something happened, but that's not how today's world works.
I'm with ya on the second part, though.
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Change your mindset. Become the coolest version of yourself. The rest will take care of itself.
Also, relationships are not like Pokemon. Don't try to catch them all. You only need one good one. In my experience, girls chase guys who don't fall too easily. Be the prize.
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stop using your sister as a gauge for the rest of female dating population 🤙🏽
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It's not only my sister, it's also girls in town that are like that or worse, as included in the post.
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Its funny how people complain about the shallowest things. Your sister is just wasting time. Shs isnt building anythibg, except maybe her fat cells. Tell me how that goes when hed metabolism slows down. Work on the things you can control. Let go of the rest. Best advice l can give you.
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Not all the great women are in the game. Just focus on being the best version of yourself, and you'll find a keeper! 💕
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So true lol
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Seriously, I wouldn't enjoy that kind of attention. I mute people messaging me too much and wanting stuff from me. Time alone is precious because it's time studying.
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Hm, studying what exactly?
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @hman42 13 Aug
There's a positive sum way to give women attention, where you enjoy giving them your attention, they enjoy receiving it, and that creates a kind of 'crackling' and dynamic energy for to start a conversation and build a relationship from.
It's actually borderline supernatural the extent to which women will go off a man's vibe, I can't recommend cultivating it within yourself enough. Even in bitterness there's room to parse out the victimization from the powerful dark side women enjoy to (when calibrated to them).
There will be people like your sister who try to take advantage of the dynamic between men and women, but frankly it's on those guys for not actually paying attention to her and seeing what she's doing. Just like she'll be responsible for whatever life brings her way after 10 - 15 years of treating men that way. I wouldn't give either too much thought, there are plenty of women in the world who will act differently, and to think you wouldn't be able to find and attract them to is self-defeating.
You got this man! As men, we genuinely like giving women attention, and women genuinely like receiving it from us, it's a match made in goddamn heaven.
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Hm, could you expand on:
It's actually borderline supernatural the extent to which women will go off a man's vibe, I can't recommend cultivating it within yourself enough.
You're right, I'm in a bit of a bitter spot right now, it'll go away again, and then I'll pick up the ball again, too.
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"...Seeing her get everything and anything without bending a finger," - well, she is bending all right...lol She just doesn't tell you the whole story. That's one individual and not all girls, you maybe generalizing a little based on one example. Try your own research and get "bigger test sample" :-) Most of all, go out there and have some fun...
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It often happens with young girls that they get a lot of attention and young men get very little attention. After 30, the tables turn and things get better for us men. So let's not despair
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Many girls do have to hustle and work for attention. I honestly think it goes both ways!
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A big cultural difference! I'm from India and these kinda behaviours from females are still restrained. We males do not force them but it's just culture here that females don't get behind males.
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I hope your sister finds a quality mate to settle with before she turns 30
She doesn't want to wait until she is past her prime and has to lie about her age
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Looks like she is really out of control
Lead by example and only control to what you’re capable of with patient Don’t waste your energy on things out of your controlzone.
GRIP is everything as it serves your autonomy
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Winning someone over sometimes becomes a science 🧪, you must change or improve to become the ideal candidate.
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Dating apps have favored women by a long shot, it's not even close
The asymmetry is remarkable
Unless you are a millionaire, don't waste your time on dating apps
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Of course I'll stay away from those shit holes.
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The feelings you described are envy, not jealousy. Common mistake, but envy is wanting something you don't have whereas jealousy is the fear of loss.
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Ha! Good catch, it's in the details... You're absolutely right.
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kinda off-topic but i've just watched this video, maybe it can help you
BTW, this whole bubble is about to get burst, don't worry finantial crisis + world war III will balance relations once again
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Oh, awesome! I just have to make sure to survive WW3, then! 😆
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just remember that when she is 40 and no one wants her, and you're sitting on a huge pile of btc and it's millions.
You should quietly text all the guys and let them know she is using them for free meals.
resist promiscuous sex!
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dude, your sister sounds like a real winner.
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And you like a real loser.
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I would be if I were to pay for all your sister's meals
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Fair point, Kenn, fair point.
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What does your physique look like? How is your personality? Are you able to tell engaging/funny/entertaining stories about your past experiences?
Do you have the finances to go on dates and spend a little money?
Are you kind? Are you witty And can you engage in playful banter?
In my experience, these things matter so much for a single guy.
But you have to be realistic folks, there are more men than there are women and there are way less men who are ticking off all the above boxes.
Focus on yourself and you'll attract what you seek.
Don't be so thirsty or worried about your experience versus a woman's because it's completely different.
Instead of looking for dates on a dating platform why not just go somewhere in person engage in hobbies or activities that you like and meet people there?
Learn how to have a genuine conversation and build rapport with people and see who you have chemistry with.
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What does your physique look like?
Working on it, I'm lean by nature, but I'm slowly putting on more muscle, I look alright already, though.
Are you able to tell engaging/funny/entertaining stories about your past experiences?
Not really, don't have that many experiences.
Do you have the finances to go on dates and spend a little money?
I'm a minimalist guy, and although I'm willing to spend money on my girlfriend or wife, I'll stay frugal during dating.
Are you kind? Are you witty And can you engage in playful banter?

Abso-fucking-lutely.

I'll be honest, I'm quite a good catch, I'm simply not that social, don't go out a lot and well, like spending time by myself and with family.
I think that that's the biggest hurdle.
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I love this response because it shows that you are reflective and self-aware, which tbh, most guys seem to lack these days.
there's a difference between staying frugal and being thoughtful/intentional and I will say some of my best dates did not involve spending any money.
as for your biggest hurdle - if you don't go out out a lot and enjoy spending time by yourself - how do you expect people to meet/find/approach you? I'd suggest trying to engage in simple conversation in everyday life. And if you are a catch, I'm sure girls would be THRILLED that a good catch is engaging with them in a non-creepy way. ie - waiting in line at a coffee shop - I'm trying to decide between these two flavors, what is your favorite? At the park - that looks like an interesting book - how do you like it? etc etc. You don't need to introduce yourself formally HI I'm Tom - just organically enter the convo like you're already in it - trust me, this personally works wonders!
Good luck! :)
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Thanks! I usually go on walks specifically to think out loud and reflect on the past days, myself, and my thoughts.
staying frugal and being thoughtful/intentional and I will say some of my best dates did not involve spending any money.
This. You're trying to get to know the person, after all, not his wallet.
as for your biggest hurdle - if you don't go out out a lot and enjoy spending time by yourself - how do you expect people to meet/find/approach you?
Yep, I know, I'm trying to come up with outlets where I wouldn't look totally out of place (clubs and the likes), it's a tough nut to crack, though. 😁
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Hmmm - what kinds of things do you enjoy or have some curiosity around? I think those are the places to go to :)
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Well, I went to the local library a few months back, and there was quite a handsome blonde girl at the desk, and since I have some books to return, I could take a chance and ask her if she'd like to go out with me... 😁
Otherwise I'm quite the hiking / outdoors fan.
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