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fantastic
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What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
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What’s the stinkiest planet? Poopiter.
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What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.
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How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.
It says: It looks like there aren't many great matches for your search
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What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
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What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? Swimming trunks.
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Why did the painting go to jail? It was framed.
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How do trees access the internet? They log in.
What is the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”
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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
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How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
Believable
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Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
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Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.
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Why should you knock on the refrigerator before opening the door? In case there is a salad dressing
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Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type.”
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Because he ran away?!
Cornhub
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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.
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. I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.
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What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.
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Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way
When is a door not a door? When it is ajar
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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
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Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.
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I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant.
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What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
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What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.
Lol
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How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.
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Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.
not sur
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What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”
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What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.
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I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
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Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
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Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.
Ok
How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.
Aaaah, that's fun
Ah that's not fun
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What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.
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What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.
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What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves.
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What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.
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What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.
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How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.
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What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.
What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.
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What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!
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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
well
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What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.
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How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.
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Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.
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How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!
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Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.
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What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.
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How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.
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Sonic the Hedgehog isn’t his full name.
In fact, Sega’s posterboy is actually named Ogilvie Maurice Hedgehog.
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A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
Because of a membrane that holds its tongue to the roof of its mouth, a crocodile can’t stick its tongue out of its elongated snout. However, alligators can.
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At any point in time, 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.
As you are reading this, 50 million people are drunk! Check out other fun facts about alcohol!
he likes hot dog ?
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Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.
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Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
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What do you call someone who doesn’t like carbs? Lack-Toast Intolerant.
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What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.
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Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper? He wanted to live in the present.
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What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train
Lol search for hot @denlillaapan