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youhouu

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What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”

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What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.

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I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

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Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

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Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

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How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.

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Aaaah, that's fun

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Ah that's not fun

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youhouu

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What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.

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What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.

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What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves.

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What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

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What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.

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How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

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Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.

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What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.

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What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

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What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!

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What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.

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