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This post is exclusive for SN.
I am writing this post, let's say under "duress" (@Natalia and @Lux were pushing me to write this) . Is kind of personal experience and I am not so comfortable telling you this story.
Seriously is quite hard for me to write these words here. But I will do it for the sake of stackers. Some of the stackers were very curious about my past experiences with epiphany and NDE (near death experience). I know are not the same but in my case, were linked. Anyways, I am writing this post already drunk (8+ beers already). Otherwise I would not have the balls to share this personal experience on SN.
DISCLAIMER:
  • I am not a religious guy, or somebody that can be influenced easily by religious stuff, appearances, and crap like that. I am a "facts guys" but with open mind. Religion is politics. Faith in some kind of high entity is something else.
  • I do not write this post to get more sats. Just read it. If you want to be more visible, you could just zap 1 sat.
  • I do not try to bullshit you in any way, you already know me, that I am not that "bullshit" guy. I always speak the truth as I see it, no matter what are the consequences or interpretations. I don't fucking care. What happened to me, have many connections, including Bitcoin and my bitcoin guides.
So if you do not want to read about these kind of experiences, just stop here and do not continue reading. I don't want to force anybody to read, believe or judge my experiences. Are mine and I do not care if you consider me a crazy lunatic or whatever. You cannot comprehend this stuff until you live it. I was the same until I saw them. And changed my life., Totally.
Not many people could handle this story and I was one of those for a while. I couldn't believe what happened to me. So if you are a weak minded person, please stop right here and do not read anymore. You really have to have a wide open mind to read this story.
Sooo, as you already know, I am an old bitcoiner (in age and also in years in Bitcoinlandia). My struggle was always how to get the fuck out of the system.
Please don't judge me, just take the facts from this story as they are. If you do not like them ort believe them, it is your problem and I do not care. I am here just to share a terrifying story of my life. Take it or leave it.
Let's go back to the point: my NDE.

The beginning of the story

All started when I was very young, 10 yrs age. In the communist era, trying to survive. I was playing football with my friends in a large field far away from any village. Was only a deep water fountain, you know the old ones with a string and a bucket to take out the water.
So one day I went alone to drink some fresh water from that fountain. Absolutely nobody near me. Suddenly a gipsy woman appeared behind me, next to the fountain. Out of nowehere and I was totally freaked out, almost shit my pants.
She said: "hey, don't drink that cold water now, that you are hot after playing... you will die like your cousin". I was stunned: my cousin died just 2 years before after a pneumonia. How the fuck she knew that?
Then I said: "what do you know more about me?"
She said: "everything. you are kind of a chosen one, but you still don't know it and is not certain your faith, how will end up. All depends of your next actions, your destiny have many paths".
I was just shitting my pants in that moment. Literally. Not joking guys. Her words were so powerful and her eyes penetrate my brains that I couldn't say anything in that moment.
She took my hand and look at it.
She said: "you will have 3 times in your life, 3 dangerous moments, that your life will depend on very few factors. And you cannot do anything by yourself. All depend of what others nearby will do. If you get away with these 3 moments before you reach 50 years old, then you are totally free and your life will have a big change and more than that, your will change other people life."
She then continue: "if you pass all these three dangerous moments in your life, you will live happily more than 120 years. But is not easy to cheat death, so be very careful! Death is always near you and watching you. Fear is what makes you weak and push it into her arms. Never let the death to control you with her fear trick."
At that moment I didn't paid too much attention to her words, but were recorded very deep into my mind, for many years. So I ignored her and drink the fresh water. Just after that she disappeared like puff, in the middle of nowhere, it was impossible to disappear like that with a long distance field and road that you can see it far away km away... And wasn't a dream or something like that. She was fucking real.
Many years after I was kind of haunted by her words... Then the 1st event happened.

The 1st NDE

I was 17 yrs old, I was a mountain guide, well prepared and trained. Short story, I was guiding some french people through a high mountain and I was falling into a deep gap of 1000m. My 1st "luck" was some brushes that hang my backpack and kept me afloat on top of that huge gap of 1000m. The french people just run away (scared shit) leaving me there, thinking that I will just fall down in matter of seconds. It wasn't like that. Hardly I was crawling my ass on top of the grass and arbutus and finally could get away.
But in that moment of fall down, I saw it all black, my whole previous life was passing through so fast, like a movie on FFW. Every fucking moment of my life. TERRIFYING moments that I do not want anybody to live them. When I arrived bback to the cabin (5km away) I was totally another person. The friends there not even recognized me. They even asked me "why are you older?"
Years passing away, almost forgot about the incident. My life went from terrible to dangerous (during communism shut down) but I survived.

The 2nd NDE

So I was 10 years later, 27 years old, having another change in my life: getting a new job in a new city. The company gave me a new car and I had to drive to the new post job like 600km.
All good until a fucking truck trailer hit my tiny car and throw me 100m away. All the car was destroyed but absolutely nothing touched me.
Again, I saw the black tunnel, this time, very deep and clear.
It is real guys. The NDE is fucking real. And you cannot do shit about it. All depends of your destiny. Is pure black and some lights, depending of the circumstances. If there are people around and are calling you... YOU FUCKING HEAR THEM! But the thing is you cannot move physically. You need to move only with your power of your mind. In that "realm" the only power you have is your mind. So be prepared for this shit stuff.
So being in that black hole tunnel, this time I was struggling to get out. In just few seconds, again my life was FFW entirely, but this time I was able to see parts of my future "me", and I was alive and well. Once I saw myself alive, the whole black tunnel became illuminated and I got back out, seeing the truck driver trying to get me awake. He was so happy to see me alive and well.

The 3rd NDE

All good and after 10 yrs more I had another "accident". This time on a mountain. I was hiking with 4 kids (1 is my daughter), just a normal hiking kids trip, but suddenly a heavy rain caught us on top of the mountain. So we have to go down from that mountain ASAP. And we went, fast but end up in a gorge with no exit. At least for me with 4 kids. If I were alone I could get out but the kids were not well trained for that.
So short story short, I fall down into the gorge and my daughter saved me, throwing me a cord and grab me out. Because I was trying to find a way out before grabbing them with me.
Again, I saw the black hole and all my life passing through. This time was slower, like showing me the moments in my life I did mistakes. I even had time to analyze them. In my head was like a review of my life mistakes. In that moment I realized that is my last chance to go back. And I heared my daughter creaming at me as loud as she could. That waked me up and grabbed the cord, in the last moment was possible. And saved my miserable life.
Believe me, you do not want to pass through these NDE. Is fucking terrible.
In this last one, I saw the hell.... and the heaven, in the same time. It is real. But not as we think it looks like. You just feel it. Pain, suffering, joy, excitement, peace, all of them in the same time. It's a terrible experience that I do not want anybody to feel it, not even my enemies.
So that was my 3rd NDE that I survived as the gypsy woman said 30 years ago.
Nowadays, already passed 10 years more and nothing happened, I already passed 50+ years now and I can tell you, my life is totally changed.
Ok, now, from NDE, let's go to the "fun part", the epiphany moment in my life. Part that I wasn't prepared, the gypsy woman didn't told me about this part.

The epiphany

2019... right before the "plandemic" scam period.
I had like a pre-monition of what will happen. I told to my wife and family about and they all called ma fucking lunatic and crazy.
Just few months later, all I said to them was come true. I was petrified myself because I didn't told them that I see dead people on the streets. It doesn't matter how those people were dead, but were dead and I saw them even before they were dead. I had even neighbors that I saw them dead long before they died. For me was a terrible experience because I couldn't tell them what I saw.
Anyways, in sept 2020, I had that epiphany. Again terrifying experience. I am just a normal guy, living my simple life, trying to get out of the system with bitcoin.
Then one day, I wake up in the middle of the night, I was sure wake up and not dreaming. I saw that from my windows, came 2 entities, very bright white entities, like flying.
My body was like a rock, not capable of moving or screaming or do anything. In that moment, I don't know how much time was, I saw again all my life FFW but this time focusing on my important moments including the 3 NDE passed. Terrible moments, these entities they really wanted to point me all my bad moments and extreme moments in my life. Like they want me to remember for the last time.
They told me, but not with words, but with mind control or something that I still do not understand: you have a mission. Listen carefully.
Your journey on this realm is coming to an end. Is up to you if you want to continue or not. What we offer you right now is your choice: come with us or stay and continue your journey. But your mission will change if you stay.
Then I asked them: "what was/is my mission?" They said: your initial mission is over, you've passed, you can come with us into the stars and continue your new journey as a starseed.
I responded: what if I want to stay, I like on this planet, I like these mountains... One of the white entities said: as you wish, but then we have to assign you another mission and we cannot intervene or tell you what is this mission, you will need to find it yourself. Then you will decide when is time to come with us.
I was stunned for several hours, almost 2 days, not moving, not waking up, not taking any food or water. My wife was freaked out calling some neighbors not knowing what to do.
In the end, I wake up like nothing happen, just a bit weak, like without batteries. I couldn't talk many months, until I start reading some telegram groups talking about bitcoin and their struggling to understand it.
In that moment I knew what was my next mission in this realm: teaching more noobs about bitcoin. I know is hard to believe all this. Even for me. That NDE changed my life totally. I became another man. I don't know how. I can't explain it.
Later few months, came into my mind all my hiking trips over the mountains, looking for a peaceful place. In all those years looking for it,
I didn't think about WHY I was looking for it. But after this NDE all pieces come together and was the last puzzle piece for me: my mission is to build that citadel and make it a place of bitcoin knowledge, share that knowledge with others.
I will die making this happen. I promise you guys, will not die until is finished. For Bitcoin and for Freedom. Like teh gypsy woman said: if I escape from those 3 moments I will live until 120 years and will have a happy life. My happy life will be a better world with Bitcoin.

Nothing else matters.... - this was the song I heard in all my 3 NDEs

Wow. Good to see your soul Darth. Thanks for sharing! And thank You for all that you do.
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I'm so glad you like those mountains
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...otherwise I would be now, flying through the stars.
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I had to kagi it Their souls carry divine inner wisdom within the very core of their being and special abilities that may remain dormant until needed. https://www.moonomens.com/what-is-a-starseed/ Now I need another beer
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very interesting, indeed. I need another beer too now.
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Idk man.. That is far out. Have you ever experienced a ketamine hole? I'm interested to learn how they compare to your NDE's. If not, you might find it interesting. Try not to freak out though. I've a feeling its very similar to NDE's, but I'm not sure. Should you try it, be careful. It can be psychologically addictive.
When it comes to thoughts about what reality really is about, the conclusion I reach is I cannot know for sure. Your experiences may be induced in some way, not per se by a drug, but maybe by an energetic particle, hitting your brain the right way. You know, as in a cosmic ray? A small aneurysm could maybe do it. I'm not claiming it was any of those things, but they are possibilities.
The question is, what is probable. Some external para-normal thing or your pattern seeking mind trying to find reasons. Of course, there is the realization that by naming things in an attempt to describe and make sense of the world around us, we create the illusion that we are separate from it. I think Alan Watts said it nicely when he mentioned the human body, and the well of consiousness it holds, is more akin to a whirlpool/vortex in a river, than a disconnected thing from the stream of existence.
I think it is a blessing instead of a curse that we are doomed to search for answers to unanswerable questions. For a man convinced he holds the absolute certain truth, might do the most horrific things in name of what he perceives to be that truth, without blinking an eye. We must beware the banality of evil.
Therefore, I think the only certainty in life is uncertainty, and that this interesting paradox, is the most stable foundation on which to reason and conduct oneself.
I'm interested to learn your thoughts on my response @DarthCoin.
Your story is certainly very intersting.
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we create the illusion that we are separate from it
I think it's the other way around. We identify with being part of nature and we feel the fear that comes from final and certain death. Our real identity is spiritual and spirits do not fear death.
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ketamine hole?
I have no idea what is that. I never smoke or took drugs in my life. I am not attracted in any way to that. I just drink beer :)
the only certainty in life is uncertainty, and that this interesting paradox
interesting thought idk man, this experience for me is really strange, not because what I saw/felt but because I have no explanation, why me, a nobody. I like to find answers, all my life I was always asking questions, but with this... I can't find any.
I read/listen some of Allan Watts words and are really good.
Maybe I should consider it a vivid dream, but that gypsy woman was fucking real, I felt her hand over mine and I will never forget it.
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I wholeheartedly recommend the work of Stanislav Grof at this particular juncture.
Particularly the sections recalling the sessions and their aftermath in his book LSD Psychotherapy - its one of those books man... I'm tellin ya. Relevant.
Other of his books are also relevant - he has a number on the mystery of death, such as The Ultimate Journey: Consciousness and the Mystery of Death.
Worthwhile.
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yeah that one is alright, though the testimonials in LSD Psychotherapy I found to pack a greater punch than even that later collection/curation...
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Idk what you think alcohol is, but I think that is def. a drug, no?
Ketamine, yeah. Interesting substance. Will desolve your ego. The more you take, the weirder it gets. It is hard to put into words what the experience is like. And your mileage may vary anyway, so I won't try and dive deeply into that right now. Suffice it to say, it can result in various degrees of dissociation that result in interesting psychedelic experiences.
They need not be pleasant, but they can be. Ranging from feeling the terror of absolute, eternal loneliness to an overwhelming joy of unity. Suffice it to say, those experiences are weird AF.
There is def. some overlap with NDE's and other psychedelic states of mind I think. And, in the depths of such experiences, I for one, can feel convinced it is real. It is a cosmic horror and comedy -and everything in between- all at once.
I have always been searching for answers. How and why do things happen and work the way they do? I've pondered existence and nothingness.
Besides coming up with interesting speculations about the nature of such concepts, I am happy to content with eternal uncertainty. I would rather be forever doubtful and questioning, than find myself absolutely convinced of some "truth." I believe people in general would be a lot happier if they were to accept the fact that there are things we cannot know. Uncertainty at first looks like anxiety come concrete, but in my experience it is sooner a guardian angel than a curse. To me it seems that knowing with aboslute certainty what it (existence, life, the universe and everything) is exactly all about, might be the perfect description of hell.
You may appreciate this poem I once wrote:
"I've seen where the one mad God lives Far from here, yet just a heirs breadth away I saw Him whisper into his own ear 'The world is not made,' He said 'It is MAD' Bit of a weird fellow..."
Anyhow.. I think the best we can mannage is try and make the world a better place for each and everyone of us, through voluntary and non-agressive action. And I do think most people are doing their best.
Its fun to speculate, and good to think about the weirdness of it all. Normal is the most absurd word if you ask me. But I do think its probably okay to be very wary of folks who think the are certain of stuff. I'm not saying that you are claiming to be certain of whatever it is that is going on. These are just my rambling thoughts.
Yeah, bit of ramble, but those are my two sats on the matter :)
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That reminds me, I should set my standard zap amount to 42.
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I've never had an NDE but I have experienced lots of weird coincidences that felt "out of this world" like prayers/wishes being quickly and exactly met.
I also go to sleep most nights trying to communicate with "the outside" often asking for guidance and insight ... which does come although I don't know if it's from "the outside" or I'm merely treating my subconscious as an agent that returns answers.
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I was descending a mountain and in my exhaustion I foolishly took the most direct route, which was steeper, with 4th, borderline 5th terrain. At one point where I was down climbing, my right hand was on a small hold, two good feet, solid left hand.
Then my left hand ripped off a hefty rock chunk that was going straight for my left leg that I quickly swung off, leading me to start rotating and peeling away (barndoor), but managed to hold on. I quickly descended to a more stable ledge and stopped for 10 minutes in terror. I actually cried, which I have no problem admitting for the hormonal cascade of crying is tactically advantage when the threat is the environment and further caution is warranted.
I am writing this on my phone so I will share the other story another time. The mountains are a dangerous place.
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The mountains are a dangerous place.
Yes, indeed. That's I learned how to respect them and try not to disturb their sleep too much. Are like giants sleeping and if you bother them too much, they do not like it. I always try to live with the environment, to feel it how is breathing and adapt to it.
We are so small...
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Thanks for sharing Darth, you live a really poetic life. And its not a reach to say that your work will inspire generations to come.
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Goosebumps while reading your story. I am sure everyone has their own functions and roles. Only they are able to know their functions and roles in this world. It is fortunate that you are able to read your role through the terrible events that have happened to you before. Thanks for sharing.
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Wild story. Fun read! Thanks for sharing.
(definitely an aside, but I saw apocalyptica live a few years ago. great show)
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It was very hard for me to share it here. Very few people know it, even my wife doesn't know all the details. Because I don't want people to judge me based on this story. People usually do that and not look into the facts. I am just a meaningless peon in the immense universe.
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I normally quite sceptical when people tell stories like these, but it's from @DarthCoin now.
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I am also skeptical, even with my own story. For many months I tried to give myself an explanation and found none. So I give up looking for answers. I just look forward, to finish my mission in this realm. Nothing else matters...
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yes, but from people have brutally honesty that would lead me to do more digging.
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Thanks for sharing your story, Darth.
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Wa! Terrifying moments. I've had such and wast told by some of my friends that I needed to repent (I'm an atheist). Thanks, I'm alive reading and sharing. May you also live longer to achieve your ambitions.
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Very interesting and exhausting experiences. I would like to know more about you. Do you have any website or other resources to watch? Thank you for sharing
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That is one hell of a way to get your mission in life. I wouldn’t wish that many NDEs on anybody. I had one and that was quite enough for me. It, too, was a huge life changer. It happened when I was 18 and I cannot recall any others since, but just that one was enough.
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I just realized you forgot to mention what these dots lead to choosing @DarthCoin, I mean, you can be Yoda or Supermen, but why Darth?
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I explained many times:
  • Darth is not what people think he is... the "bad " guy. I am strongly suggest to watch all the saga, entirely, but not following the Disney shit, but the real story of Star Wars.
  • I suggest you all watching again the whole series and focus on all Vader’s actions and words. He was actually The Balance into The Force, he was forced to join (briefly) with Emperor Palpatine, in order to bring down the Empire. His main goal was peace and be with Amidala… Palpatine fooled him into believing that if will join to the Sith it could bring Amidala back. Was a lie. He knew also about the “other side” of the Jedi.
  • The Jedi and The Sith are just the today’s “left and right” political sides. Darth Vader wanted Luke to join him into bringing down both sides and finally have The Balance into The Force. Think again why Luke Skywalker after Vader’s death decided to isolate himself. He realized the mistake he did for not joining forces with Vader.
The whole story of Darth Vader is his love to Amidala.
When people will understand the role of Darth Vader into the Galaxy, they will understand DarthCoin's role into Bitcoin
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Ah, why I choose Darth? It's right on my bio... because of my old friend Obi Wan... Darth is the real balance into The Force. Bitcoin needs balance not taking sides.
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first must be a book of Darth's life. After that a documentary. Maybe in 30-50 years.
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many times you have to make it happen; I am also curious to read about your experience living under communism.
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I sense that you still do not understand fully the Darth character. No worry, I know this takes time... In the end everybody will come back to my words, once they discover the true meaning of Darth / Anakin. You need to look deep into his soul to see the true Force.
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where are you finding these amazing memes?
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Use The Force Nemo, use The Force...
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Bro, send me your dealers phone :)
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there's no language, is just some information you receive straight into your mind/brain, I could say telepathic communication.
is it mean all of us come here have different mission?
yes, each one of us, but we don't know it until the important moment came to us and sometimes, we can die without even know it or finish it. This is what I understand from them.
We are just vessels into this realm, we are just travelling and accumulating experiences that later are shared into a common database for other starseeds.
This is how I learned to be fearless. Everything in this realm you could consider it harmless, is like a not real world, but in the same time real feelings. Yes, you could be harmed in a physical way but is just to experience that feeling, your starseed "body" is not harmed. Sorry, I don't know how to explain it better. Is still hard to explain to myself.
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Why me? I am nobody, just a dude living his life and suddenly I am hit by these shiny dudes coming from the stars. Why that gypsy lady told me exactly what will happen in my life? Why I can see dead people around me? I have no explanations for these.
I repeat; I never took drugs, smoke or use anything that could alter my metal stability. Yes I drink some beers per day, but that is in normal limits.
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Another SN post brought me to this one. I loved reading your story and understanding a little more about souls like yours.
In the last 3 years I have done hundreds of channelings (or, as I like to call, conversations with the soul) with people I had just met at an event or workshop, and I confirm what you have experienced.
Even, answering your question "Why that gypsy lady told me exactly what will happen in my life?" sometimes they present themselves to us in a specific way, but they are what many call our guides, how good They can be related souls that are on another plane, or even your own soul, which appears to you in dreams or visually while awake, as was your case.
I have gone from being an agnostic to seeing and feeling with strength and intensity the energy in the things around me. Everything, absolutely everything, has and is energy.
We all have a certain spiritual connection, but we can close ourselves to it, and still carry out our mission, or open up and experience it in a different way.
The fact is that everyone is different, and your sensitivity and connection allows you to see dead people, at the same time that mine allows me to connect and talk with souls and see the astral plane, but I can't see anything on this plane.
My partner, for example, is sensitive to the point of knowing if someone is going through a bad time just by being next to or hugging that person. Thus, between the two of us, we were able to help a woman we met on vacation at the beach last summer.
She knew that something was wrong with her, and I, by talking to her soul, was able to get to the bottom of the matter and help her see more clearly what her resolution could be for that problem (personal and which I am not going to tell).
This is a complex topic, and there are many things to talk about... it could last for hours, even days.
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Thank you for this answer !
I confirm what you have experienced.
Now I see that I am not crazy or was just some imagination :)
Everything, absolutely everything, has and is energy.
Yes, I saw it with my own eyes. And now, sometimes, I cannot feel comfortable in this "human body of flesh", my interior energy is like screaming to get out. Strange feeling.
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maybe you are a nobody but with a big heart and good morals?
Why that gypsy lady told me exactly what will happen in my life?
the more interesting question is, are our lives being set in advanced? How is it possible to even predict it?
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I don't think can be predicted, I think is more about analyzing posibilities. Did you read the Isaac Asimov book, "The Foundation"? Are 2 books actually. There's even a mini series now, very well done. Is about following different paths of the history and how to deal with each one. Very interesting book. Here is the series online
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now I am seeing a pattern on where you normally watch movies 🤓
no, I haven't read or watch it, but will do.
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so we are just "guided" through it?
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Maybe there's a link between why I was born in 1971 (see WTF happen in 1971), my suffering life in communism and coming to the light with Bitcoin?
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could be. Or maybe more like you've suffered enough - passed the test. And what would you do for others if you were given a chance?
Some people who have suffered enough, but they would choose to do the same to others, but you are the opposite - you want to be the CHANGE.
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Was FFW from birth until the last moment. And all black pitch, no colors, like an old movie. Every fucking moment of my life in just few seconds. I don't know if you saw the movie Johnny Mnemonic... with delivering a data drive with a brain as storage disk. Exactly like that was the experience, really painful to get all that info at once in your brain.
Also all the hard moments of your life are more painful than others. Like a spear into your brain.
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I don't know the answer. Maybe was like that only for me. I think the starseeds wanted to "convince" me that I should go with them and forget about those hard moments. Because they "told" me that once I decide to go, all my past memories are wiped and go to original "form" of starseed, like a new baby.
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Not sure if everybody will get those 2 options. My case I think was a bit out of the ordinary.
Some people will just die in this realm without knowing it, what they are. They will just carry the data that after their body death, will be inserted into the central database.
I think those entities let me to continue because I was a bit more sensitive to other "things". After that "visit", I start seeing dead people (close to me) visiting me like they were alive. They do not scare me, are just like normal people but I know they are not from this realm.
I don't know how to explain this, I do not have any logical or "scientifically" explanation. I am not such expert in these things, but are overwhelming me sometimes. That's why I feel better alone in the wilderness. Is peaceful.
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I am still not sure if I did well posting this story on SN...
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Is not about that you saw it and interpret it. Is about changing the course of history. Sometimes small things like this, a post on internet, a turn to left instead of right on a road, could change totally the course of somebody's history or destiny.
This reminds me about another thing that happen to me, just few months ago. I was driving home, through a mountain winding road. Was raining and some rocks were already falling down on the road. Then I saw 3 motorbikes behind me. I wasn't in a hurry and I signal them to overtake me. Right after they go in front of me a big fucking boulder fall right behind me.
I was like "geeze" if I wouldn't let them overtake me, they will be dead right now. I literally saved their life just with a small gesture. Amazing how life is going...
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Is about changing the course of history.
imagining how many people turn into toxic maxis after reading darthcoin, and what that would lead to...
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hiding in the closet for whatever reason
what do you mean?
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But that is ok. Is not hiding, I think. Is more like keeping for yourself some personal stuff. I shared my soul on SN because I like the stackers (even that are still some shitcoiners around) and they deserve to know me better. And this experience I had pushed me to be some kind of voice in Bitcoin space. I think are all linked in some way. I am still trying to see the final puzzle.
same, @DarthCoin is always free to delete it if he wants to, I have backup the post somewhere safe 😂
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No, I will not delete it.
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need to help to preserve the original - decentralized article keeping, look! #277541
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I built up a habit of keeping good stuff in my own digital library, thanks to all these increasing censorship and bot noises.
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that way, will be no impersonators :)
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