I wholeheartedly recommend the work of Stanislav Grof at this particular juncture.

Particularly the sections recalling the sessions and their aftermath in his book LSD Psychotherapy - its one of those books man... I'm tellin ya. Relevant.

Other of his books are also relevant - he has a number on the mystery of death, such as The Ultimate Journey: Consciousness and the Mystery of Death.

Worthwhile.

Idk what you think alcohol is, but I think that is def. a drug, no?

Ketamine, yeah. Interesting substance. Will desolve your ego. The more you take, the weirder it gets. It is hard to put into words what the experience is like. And your mileage may vary anyway, so I won't try and dive deeply into that right now. Suffice it to say, it can result in various degrees of dissociation that result in interesting psychedelic experiences.

They need not be pleasant, but they can be. Ranging from feeling the terror of absolute, eternal loneliness to an overwhelming joy of unity. Suffice it to say, those experiences are weird AF.

There is def. some overlap with NDE's and other psychedelic states of mind I think. And, in the depths of such experiences, I for one, can feel convinced it is real. It is a cosmic horror and comedy -and everything in between- all at once.

I have always been searching for answers. How and why do things happen and work the way they do? I've pondered existence and nothingness.

Besides coming up with interesting speculations about the nature of such concepts, I am happy to content with eternal uncertainty. I would rather be forever doubtful and questioning, than find myself absolutely convinced of some "truth." I believe people in general would be a lot happier if they were to accept the fact that there are things we cannot know. Uncertainty at first looks like anxiety come concrete, but in my experience it is sooner a guardian angel than a curse. To me it seems that knowing with aboslute certainty what it (existence, life, the universe and everything) is exactly all about, might be the perfect description of hell.

You may appreciate this poem I once wrote:

Anyhow.. I think the best we can mannage is try and make the world a better place for each and everyone of us, through voluntary and non-agressive action. And I do think most people are doing their best.

Its fun to speculate, and good to think about the weirdness of it all. Normal is the most absurd word if you ask me. But I do think its probably okay to be very wary of folks who think the are certain of stuff. I'm not saying that you are claiming to be certain of whatever it is that is going on. These are just my rambling thoughts.

Yeah, bit of ramble, but those are my two sats on the matter :)