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It saddens me to witness so much skepticism about love and relationships. I guess it’s normal now to enter a certain relationship with an expiration date and also withholding something because there is no trust. A couple that has no concept of sacred and eternal vow isn’t likely to make it. I was fed, as the average guy is, a bunch of lies about relationships. Some hyper idealistic where there was no strain or pain, or sacrifice, some only focused on the hedonistic side, portraying casual relationships as something advisable. We grew up with this kind of propaganda, marriage wasn’t the focus anymore, building a family wasn’t the cornerstone. As a result we have lots of godless people, enslaved by hedonistic apetite with no capacity to sacrifice and build a proper family, and an additional fertility crisis. This is the basis from which many of the political problems we witness are stemming from. We need to start building proper families in order to achieve any sort of social cohesion .
I was also raised with the values of being able to form a family with someone who is well-rounded and have an exemplary family, but nowadays the world has become cold and materialistic, and many times I have come to think that it is no longer worth falling in love or creating a family. Creating a new society will depend on how we manage to carry out relationships in the future.
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First, you need to figure out things in your life. Being in a relationship isnt for everyone, and that is okay. If you want to work on yourself, do it while you still have the time. If a relationship is meant to be, it will come along. At that time, you will have a choice to make.
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That is certainly what a friend once advised me. He told me that I should dedicate myself to growing in all aspects of my life and that the person who was going to come into my life would do so on their own without the need to look for them.
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"the only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion." ~ Albert Camus.
i anticipate a wave of unregistered babies. there shall be small towns of 1000 people with an official census of 10, haha.
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I'm hopeful to sire an unregistered baby in the next 5 years
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Always. People start families in plagues, famines and wars.
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This.
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with all due respect -- no.
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most people have no idea why they're even having kids. I have many, many friends who say that if they could do it again -- they would NOT have kids. But they can't say this in public for fear of the mob.
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this is not a view that can survive.
we must build families, or humanity can not flourish
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It's not just worth it, it is the most rewarding thing you will do in life.
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Is that true for the 50+?% who end up as broken families?
Lets be honest feminism has made families a high risk investment.
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However the fix isn’t abandoning the only medicine against feminism. The thing is we need to first get rid of the idea that marriage is a contract we can just get out of it for whatever reason
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40 sats \ 0 replies \ @bren 30 Nov
Yes, it's not possible to experience the emotions of parent until you are one.
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tottaly agree with you
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22 sats \ 0 replies \ @bren 30 Nov
Yes, if you want to. That is totally up to you and no one has an obligation to do so. Family is far more important than politics.
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Best thing I have ever done was start raising a family we have three great unique kids and one more on the way!
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Congratulations, I'm so glad you found your soulmate.
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Thanks 🤩
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100 sats \ 2 replies \ @jawsh 30 Nov
Yes, 100% I was far from ready when my first daughter was born. Had she not been born and becoming more important to me than myself, I don't think I'd be alive today. No I've 2 daughters and a better life than I feel I deserve. Family gives you (or me anyways) focus, meaning & brought a lot of joy into my life I was missing before.
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It is refreshing to hear that. I think that message need to be more publicized.
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I imagine lots of people have similar stories and gained direction this way. I cut a lot of old "friends" from my life and hang out with my dog now, who is just another family member. So I essentially hang out with family and go to work, but I'm perfectly happy living this way.
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I was just at a large dinner and met a young couple, the wife was around 22, and their first baby was about a year old.
I heard the story of how she met her husband, and interestingly enough it was mostly arranged or at least promoted by her mom.
The young lady was completely averse to the dating world, as experienced by her older sisters with the apps, and consulted with her mom. Her mom apparently actively spread the word in her network.
End result - a young man was found of the same religion (all the families involved are quite religious). And I'll bet they're on their way to a large family.
Anyway, it was nice to see. It's so NOT what you see in the world much of the time, now.
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I guess that family did not fell asleep at the wheel. It is an exception now, but we need this kind of familial involvement. Now more than ever I think it should be a priority for parents to prepare their kids for the most important decision they will make, to start or not a family and not what career to pursue.
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25 sats \ 1 reply \ @Tree 30 Nov
It can be so easy to see despair and no hope for the future..but there is hope. You and I and all the stackers know what we have to build towards.
No one is going to give you a healthy relationship, happy kids, and a storybook ending. Those things are earned through proof of work.
Fight like hell for the future. Yours and my potential future kids are depending on us.
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Thank you for the uplifting message. It is our responsibility to fight like hell to make things happen. God-willing they will happen
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Over 90% of divorces here in New Zealand are initiated by the woman. Modern women with their materialistic religion of Feminism are a risky investment for the modern man.
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Unfortunately we are in the same situation all over the western civilization. I guess in Portugal is around 70 %. There is absolutely a problem with feminism but also within the red pill sphere for man. We need more chaste and God fearing men.
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There was the 'sexual revolution' which followed from the creation of 'the pill' and all the consequent societal destruction that resulted in. Men and women seemed to be able to indulge in promiscuity without consequences- that is now shown to be illusory. People are now realising how important the family is and how empty and lonely an 'independent' life without family responsibilities can be.
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10 sats \ 0 replies \ @Roll 30 Nov
It depends on Where, How many, With Who, Why, How....
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Reproduce or go extinct. Your choice. My line keeps going. That's assured.
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It’s not only worth it, it’s just about the only thing still worthwhile in our current Godless society. However, it’s only fair that what is worth much, also costs much. But then, love without sacrifice was never love.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @398ja 30 Nov
Choosing a partner to start a family with, is the most important decision in life. Many are not properly prepared for this, they fail that test, they become cynical about it, and actively start discouraging others. They don't want their bad decision making being exposed, so everyone else has to suffer the consequences. Don't fall for it!
An old schoolfriend of mine made the worst possible decision, and it literally slowly killed him over several years. Noone in his immediate circle warned him about his terrible choice. It's too late now...
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An old schoolfriend of mine made the worst possible decision, and it literally slowly killed him over several years. That's why I see sincere faith as one of the best possible vectors for deciding. Sharing the same faith and the same values goes a long way.
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I agree with you, we need less hedonistic and more love and tolerance. But I miss a lot of is having social life in order to meet a potencial wife, I just don't meet any...no idea how to fix that.
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Go to church, still think is one of the best contexts to meet someone with the same values.
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That's the best option I agree, but I am catholic and churches are full of old people.
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Honor your ancestors, your bloodline, your legacy. Find a woman you love, have children. Period. The rest is meaningless.
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Over population isn't a problem?
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Checkout "The ultimate resource" by Julian Simon
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Feminism has made it an extremely risky and often doomed enterprise for more than a generation.
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there is an argument to be made that having a child with another person and raising them may literally be the only thing of objective value a human being can do while alive, the only thing one can do that is instintively ingrained into our conscious as the purpose to one's life, so it is never not worth it imo
in addition, nothing has made me happier. weird how those natural incentives align, eh 🙂
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It's more important to start a family that ever. We must be the change.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Shugard 30 Nov
It's the most meaningful thing you can do in your life! Get out there and start your own family! My wife and I are expecting our first child in March, and we have been living in our new apartment with our cat for almost a year. Nothing will give you more joy, discipline, and make your life more meaningful.
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I imagine you must be super excited, welcome to parenthood and the challenges that come with living as a couple.
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If you need "god" to be a good person, you weren't a good person to begin with.
If you need "sacred and eternal vows" in order to have a healthy, lasting relationship, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.
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Imma say some of y'alls should talk:
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I have strong opinions
They’re priceless! But also a million dollars
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Yes. We're evolved to nurture and care for descendants. You deserve the love of your family.
It's a tough question. Starting a family is hard and depends on what you want in life. Relationships need trust and commitment, but not everyone’s into that now. A lot of people focus on short-term fun, but if you believe in love and building something meaningful, it’s worth it. It’s not easy, but nothing good ever is. Find the right person, compromise, and build trust that’s what makes it work.
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