You have a point, there is nothing I can control, maybe it must be a fear that I must overcome. I am calm, I am in my comfort zone being sober, using any psychedelic will make me leave that zone in a violent way.
Control is an illusion I think. I used to think i was in control. now i surrender as much as possible and i feel like I gain control by letting go of it in a sense.
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I really liked that phrase, it's more or less what I try to do when I have sleep paralysis, I try to realize that I'm just dreaming, breathe slowly and count to 3 to go back to sleep. My last paralysis was 3 days ago and I couldn't relax like I usually do, I guess it's the stress.
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Honestly, that experience can be a lot like DMT to me. And scarier in a way. Stress kills. My main goals in life in the last few years have been centered around letting go of stressful things and making myself feel safe.. Thats why I am offgrid in the desert with no neighbors.
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Stress is our main enemy for mental and physical health. What a brave decision to live in a desert. I understand the issue of neighbors, I live with unbearable neighbors very close by. I wouldn't dare to live so far away, but I would live in a place with enough space so that the neighbors are not a problem.
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Its taken a lot to get here. I moved 3 times in the last few years, and just ket getting more remote. Its not for most people. I feel like an alien around most people. I feel safe here.
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11 sats \ 1 reply \ @bief57 10 Sep
The important thing is that you feel good where you live. It is uncomfortable to be in a place that you do not like. Feeling peace is priceless. People talk a lot about happiness, but they do not usually talk about security, tranquility, serenity and peace.
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Yeah, happiness is temporary too. Like sadness. Its fleeting. i always love my life and how I live. Doesn't mean I am always happy. There is a big difference. I don't think we are supposed to be happy always. And most of us don't know what it means anyways. What I used to think would make me happy, never did, at least not sustainably.
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Yea. But maybe that is good for many people. I have always been chasing crazy experiences. I am a little strange. Not good or bad. We are all just different. I like learning how other people view things.
When I was young, it was reckless. These days I work with these things in a ceremonial intentional way. I think it makes a huge difference. Having a person or people to hold space and be a guide can help a lot.
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How interesting that you work with these experiences, I'm quite curious. Do you prepare ayahuascas or something similar? I'm ignorant on these topics.
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My wife serves kambo. It isn't psychoactive but very healing for the body. Super intense in a physical kind of way..
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11 sats \ 1 reply \ @bief57 10 Sep
You're going to make me search the Internet for all this, because I really had no idea it existed, every day you learn something new
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Yeah. its a lot. I have been learning about this stuff for a lot of years. But in the last 7 or 8 years, it became a big part of my life. Learning something new is always good.
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I have not prepared Ayahuasca before but I know people who do. I have traveled to Peru twice for extended healing retreats. And I have sat with a few groups in the US for many ceremonies. I serve BUFO which is a secretion from a toad that lives right here in the sonoran desert. That is my main medicine that I work with. My wife and I serve it and host retreats of our own. This is one of my passions. That is why I like learning from people who fear it. I have gone deep with just about all of it.
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11 sats \ 1 reply \ @bief57 10 Sep
wow how interesting, I had never heard about that in my life, and what is that experience like?
In which part of Peru are the retreats held? I have several acquaintances who did their ayahuasca sessions in Venezuela.
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I was near Iquitos. There are many places though. I have heard of costa rica and hawaii. Its hard to describe experiences. its always different, and people are all different. Bufo is short and powerful though. Ayahuasca is longer.
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