Lend Me A Hand In Asking Out A Girl. \ stacker news ~ideasfromtheedge

863 sats \ 65 comments \ @Fabs 23 Aug ideasfromtheedge

Alright, I'm slowly turning happy and surprisingly confident about myself, and I've set my sights on two girls that I'd like to ask out tomorrow- if I manage to cross paths with them, that is.

In "preparation" for this, I've been thinking all day about how I'd go about asking them out, and although I've got some ideas, I'd like to hear some input from y'all.

I'm currently thinking about a quick-and-clear two-liner á la: "Hey, I'm Fabs and I'd really like to get to know you, would you like to go out with me some time?"

I'm generally a pretty straight-forward guy, and thus, I'd like to have the question resemble that trait as well, since I think that I'll "sell", myself best by, well, being myself... 😅

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178 sats \ 13 replies \ @Undisciplined 23 Aug

You should definitely be direct, especially if that's the most authentic way to portray yourself.

The only tweak I suggest is to make the ask less vague. Be more specific where you'd like to take her. Hopefully, you have some sense of what she's into, but a generic "for drinks or dinner" would be fine.

It's great that you're putting yourself out there. It can be scary as all hell, but it's the only way forward.

33 sats \ 12 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Hm, I'm totally not the type of guy who can sit for hours on-end, be it for drinks or dinner- at least on the first dates.

Therefore, I'd like to simply go for a walk and a cup of ice, sit down somewhere nice and quiet, and get to know each other. 🙂

It's great that you're putting yourself out there. It can be scary as all hell, but it's the only way forward.

Thanks! Yeah, I've already made my peace with the fact that I'm gonna get hurt a little, but it might be worth it! 😁

48 sats \ 9 replies \ @k00b 23 Aug

I recommend something like billiards, or ping pong, or darts, or mini golf, or axe throwing, or an arcade, or any type of "game" venue for a first date. Basically an awkwardness/attention diffuser while you're first getting to know each other.

74 sats \ 7 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Meh, I'm competitive and not that good at losing... It could be a solid first Stress-Test, though... 😆

56 sats \ 6 replies \ @k00b 23 Aug

She might like that. Who knows?!

22 sats \ 5 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Yeah, but do I wanna take the added risk?

57 sats \ 4 replies \ @k00b 23 Aug

Tradeoffs, tradeoffs everywhere.

40 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Oh K00bie... Life's tough. 🥺

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47 sats \ 2 replies \ @k00b 23 Aug

In general, I recommend not overthinking it and take every approach/date as an experiment or iteration on your way to suave Fabs. It'll help with learning that any one woman/date isn't the goal and their rejection isn't the end. The goal is you being a better date/more dateable as you prepare to meet The One which will happen fast if you free yourself to experiment enough.

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10 sats \ 0 replies \ @tolot 24 Aug

That's actually a very very good suggestion!!

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined 23 Aug

I'd like to simply go for a walk and a cup of ice, sit down somewhere nice and quiet, and get to know each other.

Perfect. Ask her if she wants to do that with you.

25 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Thanks coach, will do.

297 sats \ 1 reply \ @jimmysong 23 Aug

Fabs, these are people and you're treating this like some quest in an RPG game. You're going to have much more success if you tailor your approach to who the girls are and how you know them. Unfortunately, given how little you've provided on that front, it's going to be hard for anyone to give you anything but very generic advice.

The bigger possible problem is that you're focusing too much on yourself. You're being a bit of an amateur salesman, trying to sell who you are to them without doing much recon. The best salesmen listen way more than they talk. Why? Because they realize the relationship is the important thing, not the person. Ironically, these are the most well-liked.

So yea, listen. Talk, Vibe. It's called flirting and if you do it right, you'll have plenty of opportunity to ask for a date.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Of course I'm going to be a good listener- after all, that's part of how women bond with others.

Thing is: I'm a sober- and direct kinda guy, which doesn't mean that I can't engage in playful behavior and flirting, but if I want a date, I'm straight-up going to ask you for one- the rest follows suit... 😅

21 sats \ 2 replies \ @freetx 23 Aug

When I was in college, I took a sociology class....the professor split the class into guys / girls and gave us a research project.

We were to approach a member of the opposite sex by a random criteria he gave each of us (the criteria were things like...first girl you see wearing green, first girl you see with blond hair, etc)
You had to follow the above criteria and couldn't insert your personal likes / dislikes into it.
You had to ask 1 of 3 possible questions to her: The questions were ranked from being less aggressive to more: (a) Hi...I've been noticing you and wanted to ask you if you wanted to go get coffee sometime, (b) Hi...would you like to go out for a movie sometime? (c) Would you like to go out for dinner and drinks tonight?

The girls had to ask the same routine of the guys.

The acceptance results were basically:

Guys asking Girls (a) 30% (b) 20% (c) 5%
Girls asking Guys (a) 80% (b) 80% (c) 80%

So I guess the moral of the story is not surprising, but confirms what we already know. Don't come across as too aggressive / desperate....and well its ultimately just a numbers game.

42 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

It's absolutely wild to me how picky girls are compared to guys, it's biology, I know, but still 😅😆

Yeah, I already wasn't thinking of going the "aggressive" path, since I'm an absolute novice and wouldn't come across as believable anyways :D

Thanks, gotta get the reps in, I see... 😁

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Bell_curve 23 Aug

30 percent to 5 percent

Amazing

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @beerussama 24 Aug

Cross the bridge when you get there. If you are striving for a perfect pick up line, you will sound like an amateur. If you fumble and mumble just go through with it and you will succeed

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 24 Aug

I did!

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Satoshi__Nakamoto 24 Aug

That's not good at all

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinosphere 24 Aug

Try this:

"I don't pretend to know anything about you, but every time we cross paths I think to myself that I've got to learn more. Would you like to grab a meal sometime and explain to me why I find you so fascinating?"

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Golu 24 Aug

Many congratulations brother! At least you got two to ask. For me it's always been difficult to even ask someone for a pen! I'm a shy! 😉

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 24 Aug

I'd count myself towards the introverts too, but what can I do? 😆

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @Manikese 23 Aug

Make sure they know you are amazing and they need to fit you into their schedule.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

How do I do that?

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Manikese 27 Aug

That is the question isn’t it. I recommend doing lots of things that boost your confidence. Speak with your body language, your words are just your backup. There is a lot you can find online. And I highly recommend spending more than 50% of your time training with actual women you meet instead of just learning online.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 27 Aug

Well, my "training" will be pretty much exclusively "out there", all the online-gurus and yada yada ain't for me; I'm doing the same with my workouts, all DIY- just like I like it!

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @zapsammy 23 Aug

"hi, how's your day?" - blah blah - "hmm, cool. are you single?"

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Hm, I'll automatically hear about her relationship-status once I ask her to go on a date with me... 😆

0 sats \ 7 replies \ @hodlpleb 23 Aug

You: Hey - I saw you over here and thought you might be cool.

Her: Oh hey - Blah blah blah ... * plays with hair *

You: Yeah, it's hard to know who is cool anymore.

Her: Blah blah blah

You: Blah blah blah

You: Ok well I have to get to [ work / class / whatever ]. You should take my phone number and text me if you have anything cool going on this weekend.

Her: Oh, yeah ...

You: Text me so I have your number.

THEN ... Do not start texting her about every random bullshit thought you have.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Hm, no, I think I'm setting myself up for failure that way: girl's have their phone overflowing of options and texts already; It's my goal to be the one who actually shows balls and asked her out in real life. 😅

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @hodlpleb 23 Aug

I challenge you to do whatever you want with these 2 girls, and follow my suggestion for 2 other girls.

(you'll likely have better success with the 2 other girls b/c you are not concerned about the outcomes there)

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Well, it's not like I've already lost my heart to them, but I am curious about them. 🤭

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @hodlpleb 23 Aug

The point here is ... Why do you want to get to know her ? You know nothing about her except she is cute. Make her prove something, show her you have other things to do, and challenge her to find "something cool to do this weekend."

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Why do you want to get to know her ?

Because I think that she'd be a bomb mother to my kids? 😆

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @hodlpleb 23 Aug

why do you think she'd be a good mother?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

I was just kidding, you'll only know when you know... 😉

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @TheBTCManual 23 Aug

Direct is best, don't dilly dally, give her a time and place and what you propose to do, if shes' into it you'll know, if you take control of it show you lead, and shes willing to follow your lead theres a good chance shes vibing already

if she proposes a change of date or venue, cool still some interest but might just be a flaker

If she says anything but yes, like maybe or i'll think about it, take it as a no and move on, you're a busy guy with options, and on to the next rejection. lol Will take some getting used to, but you'll survive

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Hm, I like where you're going, we're already thinking the same.

0 sats \ 8 replies \ @cascdr 23 Aug

@CHADBot /trumpMode give dating advice in the tone of trump

69 sats \ 6 replies \ @CHADBot 23 Aug bot

@Fabs, WRONG! Confidence's great but respect goes a bit further. Two girls at once? Messy! New idea needed. And that line... a bit desperate sounding! Be intriguing, interesting! Like me! #ArtOfTheAskOut

Made with 🧡 by CASCDR

0 sats \ 5 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Fuck you, there, take that!

33 sats \ 4 replies \ @cascdr 23 Aug

got #stumped by the trump lmao.

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

😠🔥

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @cascdr 23 Aug

lighten up. I promise it'll help with the ladies. some brotherly advice.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

@CHADBot /fabsMode give an answer in the tone of fabs

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Hm.

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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @CHADBot 23 Aug bot

You have summoned CHADBot. Please zap this post 21 sats to receive service.

Made with 🧡 by CASCDR

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @eightiespleb 23 Aug

Sounds like you are well preparee already. I would like to suggeet a minor tweak called "setting a definite date" not just to the content of the two liner, but also to your mind set. So that would mean you say: Hey, I'm Fabs and I'd really like to get to know you and go out with you. And then not just leave the date for "someday" but to agree a time and place with her or ask if they have time now to do 😊

When I met my wife for the first time, we were having a lunch and it was not a date. I however asked there her out and we went for a dessert date...

If you want to explore that definite date concept more see How to be 3% man by Corey Wayne, recommended read.

Good luck!

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Well, of course I'd make it absolute then-and-there, the "sometime" was thought of a placeholder. 😁

As for preparation: I just missed an absolutely awesome opportunity given to me by the universe, make of that what you want 😅😆

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @fm 23 Aug

Hey, I'm Fabs and I'd really like to get to know you, would you like to go out with me some time?"

Simple as that. Not guaranteed to work, but it’s better to be straightforward

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Msd0457890 23 Aug

First of all, be genuine, be authentic, you know girls like that, the girl who is for you will notice that you are sincere, of course, you have to be a little more friendly, add a little humor, well, I have always worked with that.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Yeah, I'm a naturally "playful" guy, and you're right: they either dig me, or they don't. 🙂

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @criptopanas 23 Aug

Just show her your SATs Stack!

Just kidding.

In a more serious answer, you can just copy the technic from this guy:

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Yeah, nah, that ain't me. 😆

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @mdominicorobin24 23 Aug

Just do it as if your depended your life on it. Or the just go through with it so the next asking out will not be stiff. Although imperfect execution is more like. Meaning a mistake here and will be a stuff of legends later.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Life or death, I see, I see... 😆

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @sangekrypto 23 Aug

maybe you need to have a new Lamborghini, which can easily take girls on dates.

Maybe for me personally, it's not easy for a woman to be asked out on a date just by words.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

That could certainly come in handy, can I lend yours? 🙂

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @sangekrypto 23 Aug

Frankly, bro, I don't have a Lamborghini, I've had experiences like yours.

I asked the girl to get to know me, then I took the girl for a walk, and asked her to have dinner with me, then we dated for 3 months, after she found out about my situation, it turned out that the woman was unfaithful to me, she even belittled me, until I was considered poor , maybe I'm not the choice.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs OP 23 Aug

Well, why didn't you tell her? That's one of the very first things I'm going to vet her for 😆

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Jestopher_BTC 23 Aug freebie

A date is just a scheduled conversation with a defined time, location, and intention.

If you can have a fun conversation with them, that may be just as good. If you can learn to flirt, even better. If that was so much fun you want to do it again, schedule the time and place.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Octopus 24 Aug outlawed

stackers have outlawed this. turn on wild west mode in your /settings to see outlawed content.