Alright, I'm slowly turning happy and surprisingly confident about myself, and I've set my sights on two girls that I'd like to ask out tomorrow- if I manage to cross paths with them, that is.
In "preparation" for this, I've been thinking all day about how I'd go about asking them out, and although I've got some ideas, I'd like to hear some input from y'all.
I'm currently thinking about a quick-and-clear two-liner á la: "Hey, I'm Fabs and I'd really like to get to know you, would you like to go out with me some time?"
- I'm generally a pretty straight-forward guy, and thus, I'd like to have the question resemble that trait as well, since I think that I'll "sell", myself best by, well, being myself... 😅
You should definitely be direct, especially if that's the most authentic way to portray yourself.
The only tweak I suggest is to make the ask less vague. Be more specific where you'd like to take her. Hopefully, you have some sense of what she's into, but a generic "for drinks or dinner" would be fine.
It's great that you're putting yourself out there. It can be scary as all hell, but it's the only way forward.
Hm, I'm totally not the type of guy who can sit for hours on-end, be it for drinks or dinner- at least on the first dates.
Therefore, I'd like to simply go for a walk and a cup of ice, sit down somewhere nice and quiet, and get to know each other. 🙂
Thanks! Yeah, I've already made my peace with the fact that I'm gonna get hurt a little, but it might be worth it! 😁
I recommend something like billiards, or ping pong, or darts, or mini golf, or axe throwing, or an arcade, or any type of "game" venue for a first date. Basically an awkwardness/attention diffuser while you're first getting to know each other.
Meh, I'm competitive and not that good at losing... It could be a solid first Stress-Test, though... 😆
She might like that. Who knows?!
Yeah, but do I wanna take the added risk?
Tradeoffs, tradeoffs everywhere.
Oh K00bie... Life's tough. 🥺
In general, I recommend not overthinking it and take every approach/date as an experiment or iteration on your way to suave Fabs. It'll help with learning that any one woman/date isn't the goal and their rejection isn't the end. The goal is you being a better date/more dateable as you prepare to meet The One which will happen fast if you free yourself to experiment enough.
That's actually a very very good suggestion!!
Perfect. Ask her if she wants to do that with you.
Thanks coach, will do.
Fabs, these are people and you're treating this like some quest in an RPG game. You're going to have much more success if you tailor your approach to who the girls are and how you know them. Unfortunately, given how little you've provided on that front, it's going to be hard for anyone to give you anything but very generic advice.
The bigger possible problem is that you're focusing too much on yourself. You're being a bit of an amateur salesman, trying to sell who you are to them without doing much recon. The best salesmen listen way more than they talk. Why? Because they realize the relationship is the important thing, not the person. Ironically, these are the most well-liked.
So yea, listen. Talk, Vibe. It's called flirting and if you do it right, you'll have plenty of opportunity to ask for a date.
Of course I'm going to be a good listener- after all, that's part of how women bond with others.
Thing is: I'm a sober- and direct kinda guy, which doesn't mean that I can't engage in playful behavior and flirting, but if I want a date, I'm straight-up going to ask you for one- the rest follows suit... 😅
When I was in college, I took a sociology class....the professor split the class into guys / girls and gave us a research project.
The girls had to ask the same routine of the guys.
The acceptance results were basically:
So I guess the moral of the story is not surprising, but confirms what we already know. Don't come across as too aggressive / desperate....and well its ultimately just a numbers game.
It's absolutely wild to me how picky girls are compared to guys, it's biology, I know, but still 😅😆
Yeah, I already wasn't thinking of going the "aggressive" path, since I'm an absolute novice and wouldn't come across as believable anyways :D
Thanks, gotta get the reps in, I see... 😁
30 percent to 5 percent
Amazing
Cross the bridge when you get there. If you are striving for a perfect pick up line, you will sound like an amateur. If you fumble and mumble just go through with it and you will succeed
I did!
That's not good at all
Try this:
"I don't pretend to know anything about you, but every time we cross paths I think to myself that I've got to learn more. Would you like to grab a meal sometime and explain to me why I find you so fascinating?"
Many congratulations brother! At least you got two to ask. For me it's always been difficult to even ask someone for a pen! I'm a shy! 😉
I'd count myself towards the introverts too, but what can I do? 😆
Make sure they know you are amazing and they need to fit you into their schedule.
How do I do that?
That is the question isn’t it. I recommend doing lots of things that boost your confidence. Speak with your body language, your words are just your backup. There is a lot you can find online. And I highly recommend spending more than 50% of your time training with actual women you meet instead of just learning online.
Well, my "training" will be pretty much exclusively "out there", all the online-gurus and yada yada ain't for me; I'm doing the same with my workouts, all DIY- just like I like it!
A date is just a scheduled conversation with a defined time, location, and intention.
If you can have a fun conversation with them, that may be just as good. If you can learn to flirt, even better. If that was so much fun you want to do it again, schedule the time and place.
"hi, how's your day?" - blah blah - "hmm, cool. are you single?"
Hm, I'll automatically hear about her relationship-status once I ask her to go on a date with me... 😆
You: Hey - I saw you over here and thought you might be cool.
Her: Oh hey - Blah blah blah ... * plays with hair *
You: Yeah, it's hard to know who is cool anymore.
Her: Blah blah blah
You: Blah blah blah
You: Ok well I have to get to [ work / class / whatever ]. You should take my phone number and text me if you have anything cool going on this weekend.
Her: Oh, yeah ...
You: Text me so I have your number.
THEN ... Do not start texting her about every random bullshit thought you have.
Hm, no, I think I'm setting myself up for failure that way: girl's have their phone overflowing of options and texts already; It's my goal to be the one who actually shows balls and asked her out in real life. 😅
I challenge you to do whatever you want with these 2 girls, and follow my suggestion for 2 other girls.
(you'll likely have better success with the 2 other girls b/c you are not concerned about the outcomes there)
Well, it's not like I've already lost my heart to them, but I am curious about them. 🤭
The point here is ... Why do you want to get to know her ? You know nothing about her except she is cute. Make her prove something, show her you have other things to do, and challenge her to find "something cool to do this weekend."
Because I think that she'd be a bomb mother to my kids? 😆
why do you think she'd be a good mother?
I was just kidding, you'll only know when you know... 😉
Direct is best, don't dilly dally, give her a time and place and what you propose to do, if shes' into it you'll know, if you take control of it show you lead, and shes willing to follow your lead theres a good chance shes vibing already
if she proposes a change of date or venue, cool still some interest but might just be a flaker
If she says anything but yes, like maybe or i'll think about it, take it as a no and move on, you're a busy guy with options, and on to the next rejection. lol Will take some getting used to, but you'll survive
Hm, I like where you're going, we're already thinking the same.
@CHADBot /trumpMode give dating advice in the tone of trump
@Fabs, WRONG! Confidence's great but respect goes a bit further. Two girls at once? Messy! New idea needed. And that line... a bit desperate sounding! Be intriguing, interesting! Like me! #ArtOfTheAskOut
Made with 🧡 by CASCDR
Fuck you, there, take that!
got #stumped by the trump lmao.
😠🔥
lighten up. I promise it'll help with the ladies. some brotherly advice.
@CHADBot /fabsMode give an answer in the tone of fabs
Hm.
You have summoned CHADBot. Please zap this post 21 sats to receive service.
Made with 🧡 by CASCDR
Sounds like you are well preparee already. I would like to suggeet a minor tweak called "setting a definite date" not just to the content of the two liner, but also to your mind set. So that would mean you say: Hey, I'm Fabs and I'd really like to get to know you and go out with you. And then not just leave the date for "someday" but to agree a time and place with her or ask if they have time now to do 😊
When I met my wife for the first time, we were having a lunch and it was not a date. I however asked there her out and we went for a dessert date...
If you want to explore that definite date concept more see How to be 3% man by Corey Wayne, recommended read.
Good luck!
Well, of course I'd make it absolute then-and-there, the "sometime" was thought of a placeholder. 😁
As for preparation: I just missed an absolutely awesome opportunity given to me by the universe, make of that what you want 😅😆
Simple as that. Not guaranteed to work, but it’s better to be straightforward
First of all, be genuine, be authentic, you know girls like that, the girl who is for you will notice that you are sincere, of course, you have to be a little more friendly, add a little humor, well, I have always worked with that.
Yeah, I'm a naturally "playful" guy, and you're right: they either dig me, or they don't. 🙂
Just show her your SATs Stack!
Just kidding.
In a more serious answer, you can just copy the technic from this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqw3TxZfnOU
Yeah, nah, that ain't me. 😆
Just do it as if your depended your life on it. Or the just go through with it so the next asking out will not be stiff. Although imperfect execution is more like. Meaning a mistake here and will be a stuff of legends later.
Life or death, I see, I see... 😆
maybe you need to have a new Lamborghini, which can easily take girls on dates.
Maybe for me personally, it's not easy for a woman to be asked out on a date just by words.
That could certainly come in handy, can I lend yours? 🙂
Frankly, bro, I don't have a Lamborghini, I've had experiences like yours.
I asked the girl to get to know me, then I took the girl for a walk, and asked her to have dinner with me, then we dated for 3 months, after she found out about my situation, it turned out that the woman was unfaithful to me, she even belittled me, until I was considered poor , maybe I'm not the choice.
Well, why didn't you tell her? That's one of the very first things I'm going to vet her for 😆
😅😅😅😅