Here's an extract from the book "The Old Way", by Elizabeth Marshall Thomas. This came to mind when thinking of masculinity. Elizabeth Marshall Thomas was 19 years old, the book was written based on her notes from when she was with her parents, who were living with the Bushmen in the Kalahari. Really interesting book, btw.

On a number of other occasions, lions came at night to view the Ju/wasi. I remember one night in particular, when my mother was at the Ju/wa encampment, and I was in my parents’ tent at our camp writing notes. I soon heard a man’s strong voice in a stern, commanding tone telling someone to leave immediately. The Ju/wasi never took that tone with one another.

I came out of the tent to see what was happening, and behind some of the shelters I saw four very large lions, each three times the size of a person, all standing very tall as if on tiptoe, stretching their necks, looking over the tops of the shelters at the people. The women and children were sitting perfectly still, but two of the men were on their feet, standing with knees and elbows bent, the partial crouch of someone confronted. The lions began to shift a little, as if they were uneasy. They had been seen. What might have started as a viewing session was turning into a confrontation. They didn’t seem entirely comfortable with that.

The speaker was ≠Toma. Without taking his eyes off the lions, he repeated his command while reaching one hand back to grasp a flaming branch that someone behind him was handing to him. He slowly raised it shoulder-high and shook it. Sparks showered down around him. “Old lions,” he was saying firmly and clearly, “you can’t be here. If you come nearer we will hurt you. So go now! Go!”

He had the full attention of the lions. Perhaps they knew about burns. Also, like many other animals, they might have been impressed by the extra size the flaming branch had added to what at first might have seemed to be a little creature. Suddenly he became much bigger. The lions watched ≠Toma for a moment longer, then gracefully they turned and vanished into the night.

I find it intriguing that you brought up the notion of being 'peaceful yet not harmless'. This suggests that masculinity can encompass both strength and the ability to protect others without resorting to aggression. It's a refreshing perspective that challenges traditional stereotypes.

I once read about a binary explanation for this phenomenon in a biology book 40 years ago, but I no longer dare to talk about it today. PS: the Hermphrodite was nothing but a shadow of ancient Greek mythology wafting in the distance

Grace under pressure

To me the masculine protects and envisions. We are the builders. The seers. The positive polarity of forward momentum. The feminine is earthy and stable, creates a home, nourishing, intuitive, negative polarity to pull the her man back to a safe home. Both have their shadow sides and what we call "toxic masculinity" is really just toxicity and trauma in general.

I think masculinity can be defined in different ways.

I think generally it is living your ultimate purpose, being a protector, a provider and someone that has alot of courage! We need more masculine men in society, but there is too much junk dragging many people down.

I share the idea of ​​being peaceful but not harmless... it is quite clear and applicable to our daily life as parents... in particular I have 3 little ones ranging in age from adolescence to still diapers... and it is difficult to deal with the 3 ages at at the same time... and protect them physically and mentally and teach them the right thing every day... the truth is that it is more difficult... but honestly one does it out of love for them... not because we believe that it is our responsibility... of course. No... I think that masculinity includes a lot of the role that you can fulfill as a father and that you can do it well💪

Are we talking about masculinity or are we talking about manhood? Masculinity separated boys and men from women and girls. Manhood separates men from boys. There are many men walking around with no real concept of manhood and the responsibility vested with it.

Here are a few traits I think healthy masculinity.

Sacrifice- putting your family and loved ones well being before your own. Leadership- Setting an example for those around you. Continuously trying to make yourself better and helping others improve themselves. Sharing your knowledge, wisdom, experience with the next generation. Loyalty- being someone people can rely on and trust.

Great post. Both masculinity and femininity have been under attack in recent years. There is nothing intrinsically toxic about either however both of course have their shadow sides - reference to Jungian psychology/spirituality. Masculinity to me has come to mean what you say - protective, providing, building and willing to die to protect his family.

"Masculinity boils down to "protection and provision". They also discussed the importance of being "peaceful, but not harmless" and how being harmless is essentially the least masculine trait."

That sums it up pretty nicely I think. Really, what masculinity should represent is the ability to fulfill the quintessential duties of a man, as per by nature, "protect and provide."

I once came across this short clip somewhere, not sure who the speaker is, but she is also very much on point:

"Masculinity in and of itself is not toxic, it's the opposite of toxic. It's noble, it's stoic, it's strong; it's like a pillar for the family."

The clip itself: https://x.com/Kontext17/status/1789326690541346937

Older/indigenous cultures usually had an initiation ritual for boys to become men. We don't have that anymore and as such, many men remain boys, which is where the idea of "toxic masculinity" stems from.

Many people have already provided great responses. I'll just add one thought:

"It is shameful for a society to draft women into its military."

I believe many people would agree with this statement instinctively.

Yet, modern ideology, which refuses to acknowledge differences in gender roles, has no intellectual foundation on which to defend the above statement.

Will there come a point where western intellectuals will finally admit that there are differences between male and female--whether evolutionary and biological, or religious and ontological--and stop getting mad at anyone who would suggest otherwise?

Manhood in the MakingManhood in the Making

Aside from this notion of fecundity, there are other aspects that need discussion here. Most striking is a powerful belief that masculinity is an artificially induced status, that it is achievable only through testing and careful instruction. Real men do not simply emerge naturally over time like butterflies from boyish cocoons; they must be assiduously coaxed from their juvenescent shells, shaped and nurtured, counseled and prodded into manhood.

The real man gains renown by standing between his family and destruction, absorbing the blows of fate with equanimity.

Best answer I’ve ever heard is…The glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility. D. Wilson

"protection and provision"

I couldn't say it any better.

ultimately we are more expendable than our loved ones and we need to be able to act on that.

That sums it up nicely.

Allow me to quote one of the best commanders of our Military: Gen. James Norman Mattis aka. "Mad Dog" or "Chaos" USMC (slightly paraphrasing) "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill every MF you meet". Is that masculine enough for ya...? :-) He got few more of those but the basic premise was the same (Si vis pacem, para bellum)

Me and my friends have a signed agreement which states that any word or action preceded by the quintessential "no-homo" statement will thus be considered fully within the realms of masculinity. So I think that's a robust legal definition.

Masculinity to me has been Compassion and patience to the world aand Protecting and Providing for your loved one.

I agree with you, the problem is that being sexist, the man who only works and never does chores, has always been confused with being a man.

It's hard to convey to those without kids how resonant that imagery is.

You are right. It’s hard. I can only imagine from outside the terror a parent feels in such situations.

The man that died protecting his family was brave and heroic, but not necessarily masculine. There are also stories of mother's pulling a kind of superpower out of nowhere to protect their kids.

I think masculinity lies somewhere around the field of the stoic. Strength, confidence and calm.

Protecting those you love, having etiquette or practicing old school chivalry, and being as capable as time, effort, and resources allow.

https://m.stacker.news/42607

The concept of healthy masculinity is often overshadowed by discussions of toxic masculinity, but examples of true, positive masculinity can be profoundly impactful. Consider the man who shielded his child during the Trump assassination attempt—his actions epitomize selflessness and bravery. This aligns with the idea that genuine masculinity encompasses "protection and provision," as discussed on "Part of the Problem." True masculinity is about being strong yet compassionate, capable of defense yet striving for peace.

I always thought that Sean Connery was the definition of masculinity.