Parent’s Corner: Remembering Loss \ stacker news ~mostly

846 sats \ 18 comments \ @cryotosensei 26 Jun mostly_harmless

On the flip side of joy is loss. If you want to luxuriate in the exclusive joys of parenting - in fact, there is a Yiddish word “naches” to describe the pride parents feel - you ought to withstand the losses as well.

Knowing that I won’t have a third kid reminds me to cherish each moment more since this will be the last time I’m savouring it. So my daughter is 1.5 years old now. Which makes her belong to that unique species whose belly laughter is just so pleasant to hear. I don’t get there elsewhere.

Toddlers love playing “Peek a Boo”. It’s pretty heartwarming that my daughter has mastered the motor skills to master this classic game. She knows that doing so will gain my attention, and she is right. She has me wrapped around her pinkie with her antics, that’s for sure.

As for my son, he recently acquired an interest in marine creatures. Just now, we were watching television when he pointed out that the animal which I thought was a walrus isn’t one because it lacks two sharp tusks. Since when did my little boy know enough to correct his father? Pretty soon, his interest in marine animals will wane, and I will need to recall these memories and shroud myself in nostalgia.

What losses are you dealing with as your little ones grow up?

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187 sats \ 4 replies \ @grayruby 26 Jun

I try not to dwell on the little things I will never get to do again as relates to my kids growing up. Time flies and we move from one stage of development to the next. This is why I tell people to relish every moment and frame things as "I get to do this". I never turn down one more chance to carry my daughter up or down the stairs when she asks even though she doesn't need it anymore. She knows I love to do it and I know my time getting to do it is waning, so I enjoy every chance I get.

50 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 26 Jun

Very healthy attitude you have

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 27 Jun

I do the best I can.

20 sats \ 1 reply \ @gnilma 28 Jun

Carry her more while you still can. Soon she will grow to be too tall and too heavy for you to carry. I think the last time I carried my daughter was back in 2019 when she was 8. She is turning 13 this year, is already taller than my wife, and I have not carried her for a very long time. Instead of letting me carry her, she arm wrestles me, haha.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 28 Jun

My son who is turning 14 in a few weeks is already taller than my wife so I hear you. Enjoying all the little things I still get to share with my little one.

103 sats \ 1 reply \ @Msd0457890 26 Jun

When you are a parent you always feel that emotion of having them, of seeing them grow and I think that you don't lose them but rather accept that they have changed and grown.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 26 Jun

Parenting is a transformative experience every day

103 sats \ 6 replies \ @Undisciplined 26 Jun

You never know when the last time will be. Just yesterday, my daughter put her hands over my eyes and shouted "PEEK A BOO!" as she pulled them away.

I'm pretty sure cuddling on the couch while giving her a bottle is in the past. That's how who knows how many hours had been spent.

Our big loss was losing our dog this past winter. No more of the cuteness of watching a toddler dressing up the old dog. No more dog and no more toddler.

73 sats \ 3 replies \ @siggy47 26 Jun

I took a photo of my daughter the day we brought home our puppy. She posed with the old girl in the same spot for her 16th birthday. By then our dog had lost a leg to cancer, but she hung on for a few years. Like what was said in the other reply, we accept change and make new memories.

118 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 26 Jun

I love it. Whenever we get our next dog, I'll make a point of doing that.

63 sats \ 1 reply \ @siggy47 26 Jun

Be forewarned. You might get teary eyed thinking about it years later.

108 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 26 Jun

Jokes on you, I was already teary eyed thinking about it.

42 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 26 Jun

Sorry to hear about your dog. It must be tough for your daughter to lose her playmate

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 26 Jun

Yeah, it's been long enough that we've mostly moved on, but it's still sad when we have little reminders.

60 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 26 Jun

I'm not a parent, not already. But, I had an opportunity to bring up my niece. Now she is 8 and many of her past habits/activities either gone or slowly diminishing forever. I, being her favourite 'Ma-Ma' as she is my sister's daughter, she doesn't seem to have changed a lot, not to me. So, no loses. She still complains about everyone to me as she has been ever since. You'd be surprised, very recently she asked me to buy her a Lambo (toy) because her mom (my sister) just denied her by saying that she shouldn't ask for these things, she is now grown up. I told her not to be sad and promised her to buy a real Lambo when she can really drive one. As soon as I promised, her kiddish talkative self was arisen.

"Mama, you know why I want Lambo. It's the best car. It's the most speedy one. It runs at 3000 miles an hour. Doors don't open sideways. But I want the 1970 model of Lambo. Google it, I want to show you which one I want."

After half an hour of discussion or filtering out, she finalised a 'huracan' of green color.

Maybe after another 5 or 10 years, she won't remember all of this. But how can I not?

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 26 Jun

lol! Where does she get her love of Lambo from?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 27 Jun

There's a big 65 inches Sony 4k screen for viewing and playing some racing games... She may be incorrect about speeds or costs of these cars but she knows more names of brands and models than anyone...

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Carresan 27 Jun

I try not to focus on losses. Better to enjoy every single moment at present. From time to time, I love looking at photos taken 10, 15 or even 20 years ago. How life changes! But, most importantly, we are here to tell the differences.