What do you like about your kids? \ stacker news ~meta

1593 sats \ 22 comments \ @cryotosensei 7 Apr meta

There comes a point in time when you realise that your children are their own people. That their personalities are distinct from yours. That you heave a sigh of relief because you are not raising little monsters. Though if you are dealing with human leeches that suck your blood and more, you may want to reflect to ascertain that you are not an arsehole yourself.

My realisation came last Friday when I noticed my boy crying. He was watching a YouTube short of a puppy being left alone and shedding tears because he didn’t want it to be lonely. Bless his tender heart. ❤️ I don’t think I am ever as sensitive as this. On the pragmatic side, I think I will have an easier job because empathy is a difficult trait to inculcate in a young child. But he was born with it!

I also like how he generously shares his toys with random children he meets at the playground. He’s definitely getting less possessive of his stuff.

Honestly, I expect to crash with my daughter in the future. She’s so strong-willed - and I can already imagine arguing with her in an attempt to influence her to follow my (decidedly wiser haha) way. Still, an infant who can feed herself independently is a blessing. I am madly in love with the way how she uses the toy bus as a stool and grins mischievously at us. Because she knows that we will call her to get off the bus for fear of hurting herself.

So what do you like n appreciate about your kids? Go on, make my heart melt.

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111 sats \ 2 replies \ @OT 7 Apr

My 3 year old is starting to string sentences together. We get surprised sometimes about some words that he knows or remembered from ages ago. I always get an emotional hit when this happens.

And the 6 month old is just so innocent. Just the way she looks around at what's happening. Its amazing!

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

And you can actually have a proper conversation, right? Ya it’s amazing.

Another milestone is when infants start to walk. Oh the joy of walking is infectious

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 7 Apr

I remember being really surprised when our daughter's annunciation improved enough to know what she was saying more often. Her vocabulary wasn't just larger than we realized (which was probably part of the difficulty we had in understanding her), but she was using all sorts of words we wouldn't have expected her to have heard.

59 sats \ 7 replies \ @DesertDave 7 Apr

My kids are such a blessing and they have taught me so so much. I don't even know where to start. My son is a lot like me. He's 15 and ready to love a nomadic life out of his truck with a dirt bike strapped to the back. By daughter is a musical genius and knows how to keep herself entertained now matter what. It's crazy to see them grow up and have so much in common and also be so unique.

We never need to argue with our children. I never have once in 16 years, punished or yelled at my kids. Make them your friends. Explain your point of view. Allow them to have theirs. Treat them like adults and they will respect and love you for it.

Thanks for the post. 💚

21 sats \ 3 replies \ @freetx 7 Apr

Make them your friends. Explain your point of view. Allow them to have theirs. Treat them like adults and they will respect and love you for it.

When my kids were very young, I was talking to an older father and saying: "how do you know when your kid is old enough to do thing X Y or Z" and he said "when they're old enough to successfully argue the case for it"

I took that advice and its served me well. When your 6 yo ask you to ride his bike to a friends house (in which he needs to cross a busy street) you can tell him "No its not safe". However, as he grows he may come back at 8 and say "Dad, I can ride my bike to Jimmys because I will cross at Elm street where there is crosswalk and light, and I promise to look both ways before I cross..."

Now your kid is old enough to do it and you should let him. Because he has demonstrated that (a) he understands your concerns, and (b) he has formulated a plan to accomplish what he wants to do while taking your concerns into account. This is ultimately what you want in a young person so it should be rewarded.

10 sats \ 2 replies \ @DesertDave 7 Apr

Makes sense. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. I always do my best to be trusting, even when my parental extinct is to protect. My son recently started riding dirt bikes. It has been a lot of work for me on trust him not to hurt himself. And he has been doing great.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @freetx 7 Apr

My kid broke his arm when he was younger. Was it from riding dirt bikes? Rock climbing? Trampoline? nope. Playing tennis. Slipped on wet spot on court and fell down.

My point is, if something bad is going to happen, it can happen no matter what.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave 7 Apr

That's a really good point. I think it is interesting that there are things that we fear so much but yet we will all drive a car which is inherently quite dangerous. All we can do is be as mindful as possible. We can't control much.

11 sats \ 2 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

Thank you for your second paragraph. Wise words I will hold dear to my heart.

I gotta say, is your family out there with you in the desert or are you enjoying a solitary existence?

49 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave 8 Apr

I am out here with my wife. My 2 kids mostly stay with their mom. But I being my son out here often. And we have a family of dogs. And a Kittie. So not truly isolated. I have a little tribe.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 8 Apr

You remind me of the Swiss Family Robinson haha

162 sats \ 1 reply \ @KLT 7 Apr

This is going to sound super basic, but discovering life again through my son’s eyes is pretty profound. Whether it’s an insect on the street, to seeing the snowey Santa clause foot prints we placed on the floor for Christmas morning, it’s quite amazing to see life through their eyes as they have thousands of questions, and rightfully so! Every experience has the chance to be the best experience EVER because their lives are so new! It’s incredibly rewarding as I feel like I’m living again through my son.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

Definitely. I read before that kids don’t need alarm clocks because they are so pumped with the adrenaline of being alive. So true

61 sats \ 1 reply \ @nym 7 Apr

Your son's sensitivity, empathy, and generosity are wonderful qualities that will serve him well in life, while your daughter's strong will, determination, and cleverness, although potentially leading to some head-butting as she grows, will also be great strengths. It's a profound moment when you realize your children are their own people, with traits distinct from your own, and that while shaped by your love and guidance, they come into this world with their own inherent nature.

17 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

Thank you for your kind words

60 sats \ 1 reply \ @BitPana 7 Apr

I don't have children... but reading your story made me want to have one 🥺

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

Welcome to SN! I guess you haven’t read my Confessions of a burnt-out father yet haha

49 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 7 Apr

My son is smart, kind, and easy going.

My daughter is smart, sweet and creative.

They are very different, which is great, but get along very well despite the age gap. My daughter really looks up to her brother and while she can get on his nerves at times he is an awesome big brother.

50 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

Companions for life! I think that’s the greatest gift we can give our kids

49 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 7 Apr

My daughter sounds like a mash up of your two kids. She can be very strong-willed and quite loud about it. That is difficult to deal with, but I'm also not worried about her standing up for herself later in life.

Normally, she plays very energetically and likes to rough house, but when she's around infants and toddlers she readily adjusts and plays with them very gently. In general, I'm very impressed with how well she integrates with other kids, across a really wide range of ages. I'd say she very comfortably plays with kids as old as 12.

Thanks for the prompt. She's been driving us a little nuts lately with how whiny and defiant she's being, so it's nice to highlight some positives.

50 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr

She sounds like a radio station with myriad frequencies - and she knows the exact frequency to dial in and connect with the audience before her xP

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 7 Apr

When it comes to play, she does really well. Other social situations are a different story. We were at a birthday party today and she didn't pay much attention to the birthday girl. It wasn't a big deal, but we need to figure out how to communicate to her that something is important to someone else.