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66 sats \ 3 replies \ @SimpleStacker 15h \ parent \ on: Letter to a Young Person Worrying About AI AI
I've banned my kids from saying "that's not fair". It's one of the phrases that I'll respond to the most harshly. I often say, "Are you sure you want what's fair?"
When I was five years old my mom asked me to do all of our laundry this time and I told her it wasn’t fair. “Oh you want fairness?” Since that day and until I left the house I was responsible for 100% of my laundry. I don’t remember being bothered much by it at the time but as I age I have really grown to appreciate my moms, and now my relationship with the word fairness. She instilled independence in me to a degree that I have recently come to realize is rare. She is still the greatest example of no one owes you anything and your life is the sum of your own decisions that I know.
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Yeah, I did the same with my sons. They never say it.
The word fair is really just "not what I want". The word itself repulses me. I want grace actually. Not fairness. And saying that is actually humbling.
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I think I taught my son well, yesterday he was getting into a mood and complaining "it's not fair", and I reminded him "do you really want what's fair?", he snapped out of his mood, grinned, and said, "I only want what's fair to my advantage"
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