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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…
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Why are elevator jokes so good? Because they work on so many levels.
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What do you call advice from a cow? Beef Tips.
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What do you call it when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
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Why are pediatricians always so grumpy? They have little patients.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
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What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!
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What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
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Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them snee
Yahoo
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What does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
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What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
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Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!
Yahooa hoa
arf
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
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In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest? Statin Island.
People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years.
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What did the traffic light say to the traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing.
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Why did the Football Coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
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What does a baby computer call its father? Data!
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Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Because it’s so cool.
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What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter? You’re nuts!
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When do you need to climb the ladder? To get to High School.
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Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.
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What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells!
Nora