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The universe is the totality of existence-everything that was, is, and will be.

youhouu

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Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.

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What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every night.

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What’s the best way to burn 1000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.

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What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.

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What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

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and may be alive

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How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.

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What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

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What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot.

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What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? “Curses! Foil again!”

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What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

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Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.

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you think so ?

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What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.

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