pull down to refresh
190 sats \ 9 replies \ @Undisciplined 9 Feb \ on: The right real suffering mostly_harmless
When you have a little kid, you don't look for additional sources of suffering. That's the best training I can think of.
reply
Say more about the purification you have received.
reply
From the moment a child is born, you are the only one responsible for them. Every day. Every hour.
There is no hour where you get to say "I don't want to deal with this." What you want to do can always get trumped by what they need you to do.
As they get older, it's like you have an exposed nerve walking around in the world, out of your control, but still connected to your being.
Who they become is largely dependent on how you behave. But ultimately, you have to give up, and just accept who they become -- even if it's someone you don't like that much, even if it's your fault.
Having a child is like cosigning a debt with a stranger you have never met, for an amount you don't know, and yet it's not foolish...sometimes it even pays off.
Your responsibility to your children is unique among relationships because it alone cannot be undone. This is a kind of encounter with reality that is far more valuable than any that can be revoked or stepped away from.
reply
This. Trying to get some alone time at 11pm while my wife lays in bed with the 2 kids. Oh man
reply
What a fantastic response. Thanks.
reply
That really was beautifully put. I cosign the entire sentiment.
reply
As a kid, though, suffering finds you aplenty -- so many lessons (hot stoves, balance, cats scratching, not getting dinner exactly when you want it) are learned with some degree of suffering, either physical or emotional.
reply
And then you get to suffer through all of those things again as a parent.
reply
I've thought of that before. Quite thought-provoking in its implications.
reply