Why are emotions that are anything but rational ruining my day?
The first class of the day, Monday morning, the beginning of the week, was already a fiasco.
It's the one class most teachers hate. The class teacher of this class is, let us say, special.
These kids do not follow any norms and their morals are... different.
The class teacher teaches them to stand up for themselves, which is admirable. But at the same time, he is showing the class that the rules do not apply to them.
They come to class late, on average between 8-15 minutes late. They do not respect the teachers, not because they are teachers, but because they are human beings. They take their own brakes without asking. They just "go to the bathroom" and have a smoke, they are ~15 years old. It is their sport to piss off every teacher. They do not follow any rules. Out of 35 teachers we have, more than 30 do not want to teach this class.
Since I have a reputation of being able to teach even the "dificult" kids, I now have this class in Economics and Ethics. Funny ethics... I am supposed to teach them norms, morals and behavior that they have not learned at all for the last few years.
They are known as the bullies, the troublemakers, the ones no one wants to hang out with.
Think what you want about the education system, even I am not a fan. But they should learn what the unwritten rules of society are. They should learn how to behave in public and how to show respect and how to earn respect.
So back to my morning.
I went into the classroom to collect the paperwork for their upcoming internship. The class was immediately outraged. How could I? The deadline is the 01/17 next year.
I tried to explain why that was the deadline for the school to submit the paperwork to the Ministry for review. I told them that I had informed them (this class) about the 12/02 two months ago and that I had even informed their parents weeks ago.
They got really upset and told me that their class teacher gave them another date and they were already being rude and cursing me.
They told me if I was too stupid to know the right date, that was my problem.
So I lost my patience and replied, "Maybe your class teacher is stupid and messed up the dates."
They got really offended and the situation escalated. They got defensive and one girl ran out of the class while the rest screamed and yelled at me. The girl went to her class teacher to tell him that I had called him stupid.
After that class (which was completely useless for teaching them for the next ~60min) the class teacher came to my room.
He closed the door and asked me what had gone wrong.
I told him the story. I told him that his kids had no manners, no behavior and absolutely no respect.
He replied, "You cannot raise your voice, if you do, you must be wrong".
I told him that yelling is wrong, raising your voice and showing dominance is not wrong at all. They show no sign of respect.
He told me right to my face that they should not have respect for me because I do not deserve it.
I got so mad! So incredibly angry! I wanted to punch that idiot right in the face!
Since when does an adult needs to earn the respect of a 15-year-old? Since when do they not have to show any sign of respect or acceptable behavior, but I have to be the one to earn it first? And I was friendly in the beginning, just to be clear! I never went to that class like a jerk.
If they do not play by the rules, I will make them!
But the next thing hurt even more and is the reason I am writing these lines:
"You are not a respectable teacher at this school and the kids do not take you seriously."
That was one punch too many.
I know that I am one of the most respected teachers in my school. The kids tell me that every day. There are even quite a few who admire me.
When they get good grades from other teachers in other subjects, they come to my room to show me their achievement. They come to me when they have serious problems at school or at home. Most of them appreciate and seek my advice.
Sure, his kids don't like me. But his children like no one but him. Because he does not give them hard lines to cross. He does not care if they behave badly.
I punish my class for misbehavior, I am the carrot and stick type of teacher. If you follow the norms, we are fine and can be on the same level. If you do not follow the norms, we have a problem. And by norms, I do not mean blindly following the rules of the school.
So even though I know my "status" at this school, and I have worked very hard for it, this sentence hurts deeply.
I know that what he says is not true, that he is an asshole, and that the kids reflect his behavior. But still, it goes around in my head all day and ruins my day.
How can you be such a slave to your emotions?
I hate that I cannot control it and get rid of it.
I am pissed! And I don't want to end the day feeling like that.
So maybe this rant will clear my head.