I didn't have a particular "objective" set today in terms of asking a - specific - girl out, but since I'm pushing myself to take charge whenever an opportunity arises, I still had some action today.
The day started like any other day: I woke up, got ready to go to the gym, and off I went.
I've entered the gym, thinking about what I'd start with because, well, the Smith machine was already in use- as always.
I entered the changing room to store my backpack, and lo-and-behold: The redhead I had a crush on a year ago was back! (Albeit as part of the housekeeping, but still).
My heart jumped a little, but I wasn't quite sure if it really was her, and thus, I initially went ahead with some abs-exercises, during which I managed to get a closer look and confirm my suspicion: it indeed was her!
I got up and went off to approach her, but, as fortune would have it, she made a sharp turn for the toilet, after which a few awkward minutes of me stumbling around the locker room ensued.
Once she got out, I got up from the bench and walked up to her, reached out my hand and said "Hey, I'm Fabian" followed by her greeting me and telling me her name.
I was nervous as hell because it's a) a place I often visit, b) someone from staff so if it backfires it might get awkward and c) it had gotten pretty crowded at the locker room- in other words: perfect conditions for a bloody starter to ask a girl out, not.
Nevertheless, I managed to get my intention of getting to know her accross somehow, to which she kinda responded kinda evasive (correct word? I don't know.)
We settled on exchanging phone numbers, after which I told her I'd message her later, shaked her hand and said, awesome, 'till later! And off I went, happy as hell to be over that hot-mess I made 😆
I went on with my workout, after which I messaged her, only to be greeted by: "Hii, I didn't wanna tell you earlier because there were people around and didn't wanna make it uncomfortable for you, but I already have my eyes on someone else, sorry".
Of course, little Fabs was a little hurt- who wouldn't be, right?!
I told her that I already thought that there was something in the bush, and that although it's a bummer, I understood why she did what she did, but also told her that being upfront is always the best way to react.
- Rough translations.
"Alright", I thought, "that's that."
I felt like I needed to give the whole thing a place, and went for a walk where I introspected on the whole situation, her motivation and my reaction to it, and along the way came to the conclusion that landing a date with a girl currently isn't the goal at all, but to take charge whenever an opportunity arises, to bite some bullets and show myself that I indeed have the balls to do it, albeit uncomfortable at times.
Of course, it kinda sucked, but I now know that it isn't about getting a date asap, but to learn to navigate the emotions that come with it, grow my courage and better "sell" myself in the moment of asking out a girl, and thus, that's going to be the new goal for the short-term!
Anyways, feels good to write it down somewhere, and off to the next chance!
- Soon-To-Be-Suave Fabs, out!
PS: Both times after I've tried asking out a girl, I instantly "forgot" what I said and how I reacted, only to be left with a vague "memory" of what happened and the result I got...
Why is that? What is that?
Also, what about the handshakes? Cool? Not cool? 😆