“you lost your cowboy hat After 4 days, your hat was stolen by a mischievous prairie dog. You won't catch the dog, but you can always find another”

Seeing as I presumably have lost my hat here in this saloon like many before me, I just wonder when someone is going to close the door so wildlife can’t get in.

I’m bummed. Surely management has received many reports of these burrowing raiders pillaging their patrons. I need a cold one.