i remember this vividly because I was sitting at lunch in my third year of high school with my friends, and my mind just pondered to this one question:

“do we actually have to sell our life for 40 years to live happily during retirement?” (where we most likely will be frail and miserable, and probably don’t want to do anything besides sit around and mope about how we regretted it all, and wish we could turn back time and get a second chance.)

and my three friends at the time? yeah they looked at me like I’M the crazy one for thinking this way.

i am in my mid 20’s, unemployed, and living life to the fullest because this genuinely the happiest I have ever been.

the only reason I would EVER fathom the fact of going back to a day job is for the sake of stacking sats, and even then, I want flexibility from work and to come and go as I please. thankfully, the jobs i have picked up in the past five years up until today have allowed me that.

there is no “No” for me, if that makes sense.

i don’t ever want to be told no for:

i don’t even care if those days i take off are paid or unpaid. at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, what is actually more valuable? time or sacrificing it for a few more dollars in your pocket?

today, i watched a video where a guy was talking about how he left his 230k+ job, and is the happiest he has ever been since leaving. but the thing that stood out to me the most to me was the chances of us being born is 1 in 400 trillion.

it just put into a bigger perspective that we are literally all specks of dust in this whole wide scope of the universe, and we are all out here crying about some of the dumbest shit. like, why do we take life so seriously? why do we make it so difficult and constrictive to truly live a full and happy life? when and how did it become the norm to simply put our heads down, slave away our time and energy during our younger years, and live contently at the end for just 20 of those years, if that?

i might be “broke”, and “lazy” and “unproductive” in the eyes of conventional society, and i am learning to not even care about that anymore. if my heart and soul knows its in a fulfilling and content place, and i am trying all the things i want to do before i leave this life, then who’s to say that i am wasting my time and energy when it really is the complete opposite?

nothing in this life is ever. EVER guaranteed, so you might as well take all the chances you have to try and do everything you’ve wanted to.

i guess what i am trying to say is, live the life you know you that you deserve, even if it scares you to your core. it does for me, and i am still going at it so i can continue to get where i want to be.