Last November, I broke and confessed the extent to which I hated parenting. It seems fitting that I’m penning this out at the same indoor playground. Only, my mental health should have improved since then. I’m sipping a cup of juice while typing this, and my boy is playing blissfully inside.
But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this today. I write because I think I have gained some clarity over these few months and can express in words what I couldn’t before.
I received a lot of support and useful advice. In fact, I compiled Stackers’ suggestions in a post titled But one piece of advice struck me as ill-fitting to my situation. Some Stackers suggested that since I was being put through the fire, I should reduce the amount of time I spend on social media, including Stacker News.
Thanks to SN, I have effectively dropped FB and IG from my doomscrolling routine. Given that I was placed 12th during last month’s Million Sats Madness and am likely to place 20th this month, I think I spend an inordinate amount of time here. However, SN fulfills certain needs that I cannot fill in my real life, so it’s a great investment of time and energy.
Sharing with fellow dads
Some Stackers noted that I sound isolated, and to a certain extent, I agree with them. It isn’t the fact that I’m not surrounded by people. After all, I work at a school and engage with staff and students all the time. But honestly, amidst the daily grind, how many of us can have the luxury to confide in fellow parents about our struggles and triumphs in parenting? It’s a mad rush going from lessons to meetings and case conferences. My mind feels as busy as a bee, trying to tick all the tasks off my to-do list. Stacker News has made me feel part of a parenting community. I share my stories and listen to yours. The other day, I posted about being a superhuman parent. I shamelessly sucked up the praise and encouragement like how a giraffe spreads its legs to drink water. Effortful but I will exert myself to absorb the praise because I want to feel like I have conquered something!
Learning from your wisdom
What’s awesome about SN is that it attracts Bitcoiners from diverse backgrounds and nationalities. Each of you brings a unique V4V to the table, just by being yourself. A noteworthy example is learning from @suraz how mint would help individuals cope better with irritable bowel syndrome. The funny thing is, I forwarded his explanation to my Co-Form Teacher who happens to be an accomplished chef. He has no idea on the healing properties of mint. This is just an example of how SN has broadened my knowledge. Your insights may not be specific to the field of education, but I feel that I’m a better educator as a result of receiving these myriad insights. One of these days, someone will call me a walking encyclopaedia!
Other Benefits
  • Posting photos here means I can delete them on my phone, which makes me feel lighter, like less things crowding my overstretched mind.
  • Gaining zaps helps me settle some real-life bills, which helps me save more for my children’s college funds.
Final Thoughts
Stacker News is an invaluable resource for stressed-out parents. Use it judiciously.
I looked briefly through your other posts and I can't believe no one has suggested the most obvious:
Get some sleep.
Biggest hack for everything. If you have some free time and the kids are awake, go take care of them so your wife can take a nap. Or if she has energy, do the reverse. You're sleep deprived when you're a parent, especially with young children, so prioritize the one thing you're not getting.
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I am embarrassed to say that I was reading your comment at 11.30pm, with an asleep son n active daughter crawling all over me.
I think on the whole, I’m getting more disciplined about not looking at my phone before bedtime, though. Yes, I will prioritise sleep.
Great advice. Sleep while we can. My wife is sleeping now while I’m having my breakfast with two bored kids (I fed them breakfast first haha)
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Dads unite
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149 sats \ 1 reply \ @gmd 12 Apr
This image never fails to bring a smile to my face... classic 80s
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Very Arnold Schwarzenegger indeed
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Welcome to SN! Looking forward to learning from you
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Parenting is indeed a challenging task, as it involves the responsibility of caring for and nurturing another human being. I am also the father of one kid. She is two and half years old. I understand your feelings. Yes, like you, being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do too. It is emotionally exhausting, physically exhausting, and a monetary strains which we (those who don't have background support) always deal as a parent in everyday life. It’s like constantly trying to solve a puzzle of what kids need and how to adjust to how they’re changing. But in another part, in my case, i am trying my best to make it feel good in everyday life.
You are going through alot. Most of the time our worries do not help. This is only a useless time of energy and time. It is important to separate things that are under control and those that are not. I just want to say you " "Don't be depressed. It will all work out in the end, if it hasn't worked out, it's not the end"
" Sharing is caring" It's pleasure to help you with that mint things. Thank you for the zaps forward too. I really appreciate the way you are involving with SN. Keep sharing your stories.
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I will remember what you said: if it hasn’t worked out, it isn’t the end yet.
In Chinese, we have a proverb that goes 船到桥头自然直 (the bridge automatically turns straight when a boat approaches it).
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Appreciate you, man. What did you mean by the title though?
I'm envious of folks like you that consistently crank out great posts. I feel like it must take hours to put these together. Tell me it's easy and that it comes out fully formed into the... form.
I might be too good at living a no pressure life. Doing nothing is pretty cool.
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Stacker News defies conventional parenting advice because it makes me feel fulfilled (in more ways than one) and helps me sharpen my mental readiness towards parenting. As opposed to conventional parenting advice that advocates getting off social media to maintain your focus
Erm I actually just take 15-20 mins per post. I think it all starts with the desire to post. I just set myself 15-20 mins, type out whatever’s in my mind n press Publish at the end. If it does well, I get zaps. If it doesn’t do well, I had some fun. To begin with, I m fond of writing. The zaps are a nice bonus haha
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We all learn from each other and have fun doing it.
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I remember “I get to do this” xP
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