Tips to survive a long-distance relationship
2128 sats \ 28 comments \ @cryotosensei 6 Apr meta
zaps forwarded to @Undisciplined (25%)
Oh you lovebirds out there. You are madly in love, but you and your significant other are going to different states to pursue college. People around you have been advising you to break up. You know the odds of you and her/him making it are slim, but you wanna give it a shot anyway. After all, you are enticed by those TikTok videos flaunting couples who post “did we make it?” and stir viewers’ curiosity with photos of them growing together through the years. You want to take one such video yourself, darn it!
So here are some things you can do to ensure the longevity of your long-distance relationship. Sensei should know. He flourished his way through a long-distance relationship which levelled up into a long-distance marriage.
1. Planning is essential
Honestly, being in a long-distance relationship takes a hell lot of energy and commitment. You must be prepared with this mentality -You are not here to fu k spiders. Here’s an example:
2. Be clear about when to meet next
Being in a long-distance relationship is tougher when you don’t know when you will see the end of the tunnel. So, during your planning, you must articulate when you will meet your significant other next. That way, you will have something to look forward to. Remember, what you focus on expands. Again, Sensei will share generously from his life:
You can infer that my then-girlfriend planned to visit me in August 2013. So, because I had a countdown in mind, I could enjoy my freedom to the max. Oh yeah!
3. Talk regularly
Communication is so easy these days. Not to say that I spoke to her every day on the phone, but we easily communicated via LINE call 4-5 times a week. Each chat lasted for 30-60 minutes. Let’s get real. If I am talking to her, it’s rather unlikely that I have time to cheat on her, right? She would feel similarly assured.
If you are protesting about feeling tied down to chatting, then you may probably want to examine your feelings. Are you really into her?
Last words of advice. If Sensei can prevail through a long-distance marriage, so can you. Just don’t leap into the unknown without planning what to do next! Good luck and have fun!
—- @Undisciplined’s post inspired me to write this.
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110 sats \ 1 reply \ @IamSINGLE 6 Apr
For along distance relationship, you first need to be in a relationship. However your points are good enough to read and accept. The first one about planning is hilarious.
Can uou please write a post about how to find a good partner or how to Fall in love?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
I met my wife at a mutual friend’s wedding. So did my parents actually - my dad allegedly called my mum after they met each other at a wedding. I am sympathetic towards youth who plow through dating apps and talk to so many individuals in hopes to find the one. So tiring! I still think that the best way to find someone is to put yourself out there & try new things because you will meet people not in your social circle
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109 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby 6 Apr
Long distance relationships are difficult but very doable if you are committed and trusting of your partner.
I have mentioned before that the first four years of my son's life we split time between Canada and the US before settling in Canada permanently (or at least permanently until further notice). Because I was working on my business, I was not able to leave Canada for long periods of time so when my wife and son were in the US for months at a time I might be there for only 10-15% of the time.
This was challenging but we managed. If we can manage it I think anyone can. It takes some creativity in scheduling and can be a bit expensive travelling back and forth but you can make it work.
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60 sats \ 2 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Ohhh now I get it. I erroneously assumed that your wife and son always travelled with you when you were shifting to and fro.
It’s great that you worked yourself to be in a position when you can sell your business and be fully present for your kids now.
I hope you don’t feel bummed about missing out on the first few years of your son’s life. You were on a mission! If it helps, I missed out on my son’s birth. People around me are always mortified when they know this, but I really think: erm you can’t miss what you don’t know in the first place.
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99 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 6 Apr
We did travel together some times but mostly they would go back to the US for months at a time and I would visit when I could.
I guess it’s not how you start but how you finish.
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50 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr
Yes n now you n yours are winning Fun Fact Friday on a periodic basis haha
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99 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 6 Apr
I have a bad experience about long distance relationship.
Up until we were together, it was fine. But distance took her away. However I was doing everything right but she wasn't loyal.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Sorry to hear that! But well you met the girl on the oldest photo of your phone
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 6 Apr
No, not that one. The photo girl is my real love. My soulmate, my everything.
The girl that I mentioned above, that betrayed me, was from my schooling days. You know I was even not aware about the complications of love by that time.
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99 sats \ 2 replies \ @KLT 6 Apr
IF possible, I’m all for having an end date for the long distance. We just need to know that at some point the distance will end. 🫡
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Absolutely! I only didn’t put that down because I didn’t wanna pressure people who don’t feel like they can plan so far ahead. Sometimes just knowing the next milestone is enough
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
It's good to have an end game. That's similar to the point about knowing when you're going to see each other next.
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99 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave 6 Apr
Another tip: move closer to your partner.
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11 sats \ 0 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Good point. Singapore and Japan aren’t that far apart from each other, so it never felt like I needed to do this haha
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10 sats \ 13 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
It's so frustrating not being able to zap your great posts!
My then girlfriend/fiance, and now wife, and I burned through a ton of calling cards back in the day. We would talk for hours almost every night, while I walked around my empty campus.
Listen to Sensei everyone. He's got some serious proof of work.
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50 sats \ 12 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Absolutely not. I’m not gonna profit off your rant haha.
Sensei can make sats from you in another post, np.
It’s good that you are initiating this fierce conversation. You are doing what you can.
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10 sats \ 11 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
How much of my rant resonated with the situation in Singapore or the other countries you're familiar with?
The feedback I got from Gen Z in America indicates that I was mostly over the target here.
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50 sats \ 10 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Geez idk. I m still reeling from the below-the-belt hit that my country has one of the lowest fertility rates in the world 🤣
On a serious note, certain things in Singapore are different from your circumstances. I will tell you more about it tomorrow!
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99 sats \ 6 replies \ @Bell_curve 6 Apr
South Korea 🇰🇷 is 0.72
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60 sats \ 5 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
I think the low birth rate problem is particularly pronounced in Asian societies - Taiwan, South Korea, Japan all come to mind
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59 sats \ 4 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
The west is following the trend, but it's not gotten as severe as the situation in East Asia (+ Singapore) yet.
How do people think about Singapore culturally, btw? I tend to think of it as basically an East Asian country, even though that's not where it is.
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60 sats \ 3 replies \ @cryotosensei OP 7 Apr
We are situated in Southeast Asia, along with Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand. In fact, 10 Southeast Asian countries banded together to form the Asian version of Euro; we call it ASEAN.
Singapore is an interesting mix of contradictions, for sure. We emphasise on “Asian values”, namely community before self & filial piety. Not to say that Westerners can’t be filial towards their elders but hey, you need ideologies to keep the people in check. But our thinking is decidedly Westernised, particularly due to America’s soft power. We are also fans of the work-life balance prevalent in Scandinavian countries. Our brightest students aspire to take up government scholarships to study at the Ivy League universities like Harvard haha
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59 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
Looking forward to it.
I remember a viral video from a long time ago about "National Night" in Singapore, where the government was trying to get people to have sex at least once a week.
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50 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei OP 6 Apr
Omg this is major cringe. I don’t think this was endorsed by the government though. National Night sounds like a Mentos advert: https://www.businessinsider.com/mentos-national-night-video-you-have-to-see-this-crazy-video-singapore-made-telling-people-to-procreate-2012-8?amp
Thankfully I was in Japan when this was released. shudders
I m happy to spill the dirt on the major gaffe made by a Singaporean politician: https://www.asiaone.com/singapore/you-dont-need-much-space-have-sex-josephine-teo-no-flat-no-child-belief. It’s freaking hilarious
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined fwd 6 Apr
That's great! Just do it standing up in a closet or something.
I really thought National Night was a government initiative. It's a little sad to learn that it wasn't.
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