One of those "re-evaluating everything" periods. I wonder how different things would be if I really tangibly felt my impending death moment to moment. Not intellectually, but viscerally. Memento mori style.
Maybe you'd go crazy, really feeling that way all the time.
The pain you feel when you die, it happen only in your brain. We are really underestimating the power of our brain.
Can't remember where I read a study that when you laugh, your brain is generating more cells then when you fear of something. And that make me think: people are more sick when they fear something, or they pass through a stressful period.
Stress and fear is a real danger. Just try to limit those in your mind and you will be OK.
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249 sats \ 9 replies \ @k00b 30 Mar
One of the lasting effects of my depression-like period during early adulthood is thinking about my death a lot. It’s like I’m free soloing, looking down, and imagining what the journey down would be like should I let go.
The falling guy’s thoughts and feelings exert a weird pressure on the safe and sound guy’s thoughts and feelings. For me I think it creates an urgency to actualize but I bet it shows up in other ways.
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You can never do enough or be enough for the falling guy.
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Related: someone in my family had a lingering, awful, bed-ridden death over last 6 months of his life. I've vowed not to let it come to that, but however the end manifests there will still come a final hour.
I imagine what I'll be like in the final hour, how I'll feel. Then I'll wonder: what could I do now that would make future me most satisfied in that final hour? And, whatever the answer to that is, would maximizing for that lead to a better life? By what standard could you even answer the question?
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135 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 30 Mar
would maximizing for that lead to a better life?
Possibly only from the perspective of the falling guy. It's a bit like becoming an astronaut because it's what your five year old self wanted.
I "look down" several times a day and enjoy letting the falling guy rule my life. He's so simple; "all I have are these few seconds, what did you do with all yours?" The only answer he's satisfied by is "everything I could that I wanted as best I can."
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Help me out -- enjoy what? I was thinking that was an autobiography but seems not to be.
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250 sats \ 2 replies \ @anon 31 Mar
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225 sats \ 1 reply \ @anon 1 Apr
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