Oof yes, that's the hardest pill to swallow, I guess. To know deep down that you shouldn't be like this but you want to be for some reason. So essentially, you don't want to want to be that person.

Reminds me of that line in a [very old song](https://stacker.news/items/458095):

> I would like to want to go to the cinema with you, but I don't.

So you mean you felt like you were wrong but didn't want to show it since people depended on you being right against the person you were arguing with?

That would be the best case, because then it's clear that there is an audience that I'm putting on a show for.  More often, it's some idea of myself that I'm holding onto, a role I want to have.  A harsher and bitterer audience to contend with.

Audience capture as one of the most powerful forces in the universe

elvismercury

> So you mean you felt like you were wrong but didn't want to show it since people depended on you being right against the person you were arguing with?

That would be the best case, because then it's clear that there is an audience that I'm putting on a show for.  More often, it's some idea of myself that I'm holding onto, a role I want to have.  A harsher and bitterer audience to contend with.