138 sats \ 3 replies \ @gnilma 4 Mar \ on: How parenting changed me meta
Just out of curiosity, is the pre elementary school child care / day care service a free market in Singapore? Or is it in real shortage and you have to consider yourself lucky to be able to find a child care spot even if its a free market?
The reason I ask is that I always thought if you did not like a service, you can always walk away and find another one that you like more, as long as the market is free and the supply of the service is not crazy scarce.
For example, here in western Canada, early child care (full day care for 1yr-3yr olds) is super hard to find. You probably have to start lining up for one when you first get pregnant. But 3yr+ day care spots are easier to find, which allowed us to shop around when we decided to put our kids to day care part time (mainly to get them to socialize with other kids and be comfortable dealing with other kids). The one our 2 older kids went to were more structured and "taught" them things, which at the time seemed fine to me, but as I learn more about kids and parenting, I started to have second thoughts on that method. So, for our little one, we shopped around and ended up on a day care that is free play based. No "teaching", no homework, everything play based, lots of toys and activities within the day care building, make arts and crafts, go outside everyday, touch mud, grab sand, catch bugs, pick worms, rain or shine.
What I'm trying to say is you should be able to choose what place you put your kid in, because they're there the whole day, everyday, for a few years. You shouldn't have to settle with a place you don't like, unless the market is not free or it's super hard to find a day care spot.
Either way, good on you for having that mind set and embraced the task at hand instead of turning resentful. As much as you don't like the homework, you are still spending quality time with your kid while doing it and that is what matters. Treasure these moments, because before you know it, they are all grown up and start to not want to spend time with you, as they start to have their own friends, their own interests, their own obligations, and their own lives.
Thank you for your questions! Glad to take a breather off work to pen this.
Infant care services are rather scarce in Singapore, but we are lucky that childcare services are readily available. However, given that we are a dual income family, we opted for the child care centre nearest our house. Proximity matters, especially since my wife needs to take our daughter to the infant care centre and THEN our son to his kindergarten.
There are schools that advocate play-based educational methods. However, I don't consider those schools because 1) they are far away, and 2) even if they are nearby, they are significantly more expensive than the ones heavily subsidised by the state.
I'm lucky in that my son goes back to Japan every December. His preschool is entirely play-based; I'm shocked by how nonchalant the teachers are. He doesn't even learn the Japanese alphabet! Experiencing that makes me feel okay about sticking to the status quo. After all, he kinda gets to enjoy the best of both worlds, with things being as they are.
Also, being Singaporean, I understand that the homework isn't busy work. My four-year-old boy will be expected to present his homework in front of his classmates later this week. Honestly, I value my limited time and would gladly talk to his teacher to let him just observe his classmates' presentations. But my wife feels strongly about him being left out, and I listen to my wife and so, I suck it up and go through with it.
To put things in perspective, he just has to do a project once a term. So once in ten weeks. I just like to whine. Haha.
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Understood. Indeed proximity matters, especially for a busy dual income family. And price matters too, as I went to Singapore for a few days back in 2016 and learned that it is definitely not a cheap city to live in. I imagine the cost of living being even higher now compared to 8 years ago.
As parents, we all want what is best for our kids according to our subjective reasoning. Personally, I like the play based method for younger kids, because I feel at such a young age, they learn best when they play and explore the world around them through their senses. I also think that free play helps curate their creativity and not put their mind into a mold. Kids can probably learn any alphabet in a few days at an older age, but once they think touching mud is dirty, they will probably be afraid to touch mud for a long time. Just my subjective reasoning and personal preference for my kids, not trying to say which method is superior or inferior. And definitely not trying to tell you how to raise your kids. I guess I'm just a lazy and cheap dad wanting to throw my kids outdoors to play with mud and broken branches instead of paying for and driving them to tutor classes.
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I'm very interested in the answer to this, but I want to jump in with another possibility.
The prevailing culture may be so aligned in values not shared by Sensai that there really are very few choices along the dimension he cares about. Alternatively, it may be that those who share his views are fantastically wealthy and he can't afford the services that he would like.
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