622 sats \ 4 replies \ @Undisciplined 3 Mar \ on: How parenting changed me meta
There were a few changes I noticed almost immediately.
I was always someone prone to feeling existential dread if the topic of mortality came up. When I was younger, I explicitly thought that I would rather everyone on Earth die than dying myself. As far as I was concerned, either option deprived me of everyone else, so the difference was just whether I existed or not.
Now, I would unthinkingly do whatever necessary to protect my family. Some people refer to this sort of thing as an "immortality project". I also feel no more existential dread when contemplating my own mortality, since I'm setting the stage for my daughter and the life she builds for herself.
Another thing I noticed right away is feeling connected to other parents. There's a Team Parents that I didn't appreciate before.
Now, I would unthinkingly do whatever necessary to protect my family. Some people refer to this sort of thing as an "immortality project". I also feel no more existential dread when contemplating my own mortality, since I'm setting the stage for my daughter and the life she builds for herself.
This resonates hard. Thank you for sharing.
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Interesting!
I’m actually more afraid of dying before my time these days. I mean, when I was single and happily gallivanting around the world, I didn’t have to account to anyone, except for my parents. But now I have dependents - my wife n kids. I think my apprehension is compounded by the fact that my wife is a foreigner. I have to try to live longer than her so that I can bring her ashes back to her hometown haha.
I’m a bit blown away by your thinking wrt “immortality project”. Here I am, trying to get through every day, but you are already weighing the existence of your daughter in the broader context of a legacy and your fanily tree. Kinda reminds me of the parable about the three bricklayers 👍
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I relate to that feeling too. My family certainly gives me more reason to cling desperately to the mortal coil. I guess it's a complicated dynamic.
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