159 sats \ 4 replies \ @south_korea_ln 2 Mar \ on: My lessons from parenting. What’s yours? meta
As a scientist, I tend to interact daily with smart and reasonable people. I sometimes forget that my kid is only a few years old and does not have the same ability to be reasonable, control his impulses, etc. One of my biggest lessons is not to let his inability to control himself trigger me to lose control over my emotions.
The few times I did lose my temper, it didn't pay off. And when the next day after I had lost my temper, during his own tantrum, I saw myself in him, i.e his way of expressing his frustrations was exactly the same way I had done the day before, it was quite confronting. They are sponges, absorbing both the good and the bad, and at that time, the bad had been soaked in by his little brain. I promised myself not to show him such a bad example. A hard lesson.
Luckily, the good outnumbers the bad by a lot, so most of the time, I am amazed by his sense of humor, his witty comments, and his amazing imagination skills. Out of nothing, he can roleplay a whole story, with just a few pieces of Lego.
That would then be another lesson, as I see him enjoying the little things, it reminds me to also strive to enjoy every little moment.
as I see him enjoying the little things, it reminds me to also strive to enjoy every little moment.
I like that. It highlights how much we take for granted, but should appreciate.
One of our lessons learned is that everything is a skill and had to be learned at some point. It's a useful lesson even when dealing with adults: Just because I know something or know how to do something doesn't mean everyone else should be expected to.
In some areas, like my professional expertise, I was already cognizant of that, but it applies to everything else too. There are likely just as many things other people know that I haven't learned yet.
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To add on to this, there is a timing for everything. My boy is approaching 5 years old and still wears diapers. He knows how to go to the urinal for peeing but still poops in his diaper. I don’t get why some parents get so stressed out about having their off-spring be toilet-trained by a certain time (read: the earlier the better). My wife and I are decidedly chill about this. When he is ready, he will ask to sit on the toilet bowl. No need to rush haha
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I'm really impressed that you and your wife are staying chill about that. My belief was similar, but even as our daughter was approaching four we were wondering more and more when that kid would poop on the potty. Which Costco box of diapers would be our last?
Then, just as you describe, one day she just started pooping on the potty and has barely even had an accident since. We're still using those Costco diapers at night, though. May as well get our money's worth.
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As a teacher, I must warn you that children’s inexplicable behaviour gets even more out of hand when they become teens. My school implements the Habits of Mind framework so that our impulsive teens can have better self control. I think research shows that the prefrontal cortex is only fully developed when the human turns 25. Good luck to us all xP
Very true about what you say regarding children savouring the little moments. My boy gets excited boarding the double decker bus. He will eagerly climb up to the second storey and sit on the first row seat so that he gets the best view. It’s heartening to see how he finds joy so easily
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