637 sats \ 3 replies \ @elvismercury 1 Mar \ on: Is Justice Bad for Children? mostly_harmless
Dang, what a thought-provoking post.
If you didn't know it, you may be interested to learn that there's a whole scholarship of play, which of course means that someplace they have to define what play actually entails. One thing that's pretty consistently in there is that play is a way of being that allows you to try things out. To explore, to do shit, and to be shielded to some extent from the consequences of action, so that you can learn without being destroyed.
It is illustrative, I think, to examine what happens when people -- not just kids -- are deficient in play. They become ... twisted, stunted. Sometimes sociopathic. Turns out that play really, really, really matters. That so many adults have forgotten how to play is both evident, from looking around, and sobering, given these facts.
Anyway, I don't know when and to what degree your kids should soak in the consequences of their actions, but I know they're lucky to have a dad who wrestles with the question.
so you can learn without being destroyed.
This is exactly it, but there is a whole world in that phrase. I can let them fall down the stairs and they will probably be better at going up and down stairs in the future--more self sufficient. But if they knock a tooth out or get a concussion, that ain't too good. It's all about figuring out what not being destroyed is.
I'm not familiar with the literature, but do you know of any books/articles that tackle the question?
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My entre into this space is through neuroscience (animal play, what it's for, how it works) for which the work of Jaak Panksepp is canonical. In humans, I've read some of Peter Gray's work -- here's a TED talk that looks like a reasonable orientation.
You know, this is a reach, but one of the most life-changing books I've ever read is on improv. Strikes me that it could be a really good thing for where you are in your life, for yourself and your kids. It's a serious read, FYI, but I don't use the phrase 'life-changing' lightly.