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5062 sats \ 31 comments \ @ek 5 Feb mostly_harmless

Life is about Awareness

https://m.stacker.news/14967

— Wikipedia, Pale Blue Dot Revisited, 2020

Some say we're never meant to grow up I'm sure they never knew enough Some say we're better off without Knowing what life is all about

— Sum 41, Some Say

Is Telepathy Love?

Have you ever looked someone so deep in the eyes, you think you can read their thoughts and feel their emotions? And you are convinced it's the same for them? But you can't ask them in the moment since you know that this would destroy the moment; a moment so delicate, you're afraid you might miss it forever when it has passed? A moment that can pass in the blink of an eye? But also, you don't want to ask them since—as mentioned—you feel like you don't have to since they can read your thoughts. And when both of you smile, it's like smiling at an ephemeral inside joke that no one else would get?

So you just sit there, looking each other in the eyes, silently enjoying this intimate moment, blissfully (un)aware that this moment might be gone as fast as it came; but this is part of the magic?

Isn't this basically what telepathy is about? Yes, it doesn't scale, you need to be emotionally close and you probably need a lot of face reading skills but still: it feels like telepathy would feel, no? Like hearing the voice of the other person in your head? And who said that telepathy would be easy? And shouldn't require such things? I don't know, maybe someone did. I am just making things up as I write.

I am not sure if I ever had a moment in such intensity that made me contemplate telepathy¹, but I would say I was made aware that something like this should be possible. I might have gotten a glimpse of it. And knowing it might indeed be possible (and isn't just wishful thinking) scares me.

What if I never get the chance to experience this? Can I say I experienced life in full if I didn't? Isn't this what life is about?

You might think I describe love but I don't think I am. Maybe I don't want to describe love since I don't want life to be about love. Wouldn't that be too simple? What is love anyway?

As far as I can tell, love is just a chemical reaction in our brains that is nature's path of least resistance to make us reproduce and care for our children. It's part of our programming as a species that evolved to find strength in numbers and each individual is helpless alone in comparison. And when the goal was achieved, it might be gone as fast as it came.

But it might also get replaced by something else. Which we probably also call "love" but I think it's something else. We don't have words for it. We only have movies, stories, images and shared moments for it. I probably have no idea what I am talking about. But who expected I would have?

A Perfect Life Doesn't Exist

In a perfect world... her face would not exist In a perfect world... a broken heart is fixed In a perfect world... I'd see no therapist In a perfect world... this wouldn't make me sick

— Billy Talent, Perfect World

In a perfect world This could never happen In a perfect world You’d still be here

— Simple Plan, Perfect World

I know German has a word for what comes before love: "verliebt sein"². It's when we see everything through "rose-colored glasses". Not sure if that translates well into English. The best translation I found was this: "to have stars in one's eyes". It's the phase when all you can see is a perfect person that you want to be with forever and you're convinced that's all you ever want and need. Not realizing that there is no such thing as perfect and being perfect is inherently not what we want, need and definitely not what we deserve. We want to have flaws, we want to have challenges. If we're honest and not deluded, we don't want things to be perfect since that would be boring as hell. If everything's perfect, what's left to do or ~~love~~ live for? If everything's perfect, would we even have "perfect" as a word? Would there be a concept of "perfect"? Would it be better to not have one?

So "verliebt sein" comes before "Liebe" but is that it? Is there nothing that comes after? Is this all there is? A chemical reaction? No magic like telepathy?

As mentioned, I think there is but we just also call it "love". Just like we call basically any relationship with strong emotions we can't explain "love" even though we know they aren't the same thing. The love between parents and their children is a different kind of love than what a couple feels that only has been together for a few months and hasn't understood what it means to accept each other's flaws yet. It's something different than a couple that never had a fight and never contemplated breaking up. It's a different kind of love that platonic friends can feel for each other.

But we still call all of these things "love"? Makes sense? Is this part of life? Or even what life is about? To have things that don't make sense and everyone can make up their own minds about these things?

But maybe it's just about being aware of these things. To be aware that we could make up our own minds but we don't have to. To be aware that we could do the same thing we did yesterday but we don't have to; no matter if we hate or love it. It's funny if that's it. It feels simple to think about but being aware all the time is not.

It's empowering though: If that's it, all I have to do while I walk all the way to the store to grab my iced coffee is to be aware that I don't really want to drink it because I am aware I just want to drink it because that's what I did yesterday (or a few days ago); we're creatures of habit; iced coffee became unintentionally a part of my life and I convinced myself that I am going to be so happy when I drink it.

Life is about being aware that we do things we don't really want to.

All I have to do is to be aware that what I am actually doing is living life on autopilot because it's easier. I try to convince myself that it's simply my vice, there are a lot of worse vices I could have and there isn't much else to it, right? Not much to think about, right?

Just grab your damn iced coffee and go on with your life! Don't think about it too much, you're just making it harder than it has to be. Do it, I know you want to do it.

While I think picking the smaller version is some kind of compromise between the part of myself that doesn't want to take control of my life and the part that wants to take back control, I am still ignoring that I walked all the way here without even being sure if I want to buy a damn iced coffee. And having walked all the way to the store to buy nothing is worse than just buying the small version, right? No?

No! Picking the smaller version is no different than picking the larger version since I don't want either if I am being honest with myself. Picking the smaller version is just another way to accept that unawareness is easier. To accept that there is something I should be aware of but I don't want to be. Live is already hard, let's not make it harder, right?

I am a person that drinks iced coffee because the sugar in it tastes good; it's something I can hold as if holding a cup of iced coffee gives me security in life and I like to look around and observe people and pretend that I have it all figured out and they haven't while I drink it; blissfully (un)aware of the contradiction in my hands.

But at least I am aware of it, right?

Writing this did. ↩
Apparently, in English, "verliebt sein" is just "to be in love". Take this English speakers. Your words about love suck. ↩

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1038 sats \ 11 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb

Is this all there is? A chemical reaction? No magic like telepathy?

I think there is something approaching telepathy that comes after the chemical reaction. It's not magic, though, and a programmer like yourself might appreciate it.

The chemical reaction is what gets us to seek out the other person's company and feel a fondness for them. That proximity and care leads us to want to understand them.

I believe our brains create a literal simulation of our partner's mind that overtime converges towards their actual thought processes. In that way, we are feeling and thinking what they're feeling and thinking, and vice versa.

674 sats \ 10 replies \ @ek OP 5 Feb

It's not magic, though, and a programmer like yourself might appreciate it.

I sometimes like to think that math is magic if you let it. Or it's the closest thing to "magic" that we have.

What is magic anyway? Isn't everything "magic" that we can't explain?

Our smartphones would certainly be considered magic if we just travel back a few hundred years.

I believe our brains create a literal simulation of our partner's mind that overtime converges towards their actual thought processes. In that way, we are feeling and thinking what they're feeling and thinking, and vice versa.

Okay, that's deep. That's the kind of response I was hoping for :)

899 sats \ 3 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb freebie

What is magic anyway?

I think the concept of magic may date all the back to the emergence of spoken language. You say "look over there" and it almost compels me to do so. That's basically a spell, right?

945 sats \ 0 replies \ @fm 5 Feb freebie

Good one.. Thats a spell.. And that’s exactly how the movie industry influences people.. Some call it black magic Its just influence Depending on how one want to influence others, when someone says look over here, make sure your wallet is not stolen.. people use magic tricks all the time 😅

141 sats \ 1 reply \ @zuspotirko 5 Feb freebie

I wouldn't call that magic to be completely honest

Edit: maybe if the person speaking was moving the head. Not the person with the head moving the head...

3 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb

I don't think it's magic either, but I wonder if it's where the concept came from.

674 sats \ 5 replies \ @Natalia 5 Feb

I believe our brains create a literal simulation of our partner's mind that overtime converges towards their actual thought processes. In that way, we are feeling and thinking what they're feeling and thinking, and vice versa.

how does it works? 🤔

and I read somewhere that mother's milk automatically produces the right thing for the baby, like with the right nutrients for whatever the baby is lacking! I'm really amazed by the fact that the body can produce milk, on top of that with the right nutrients - wow, our body is so amazing.

I might have linked @Undisciplined to whatever parenting curiosity I have with:)

1594 sats \ 4 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb

Caveat: there's still a ton about brain function that is not even slightly understood.

Our brains train on information, in much the same way as AI does. We observe the reactions of those around us and that trains our internal models of them. Over time, our mental model of someone we're close to can become a very close approximation of their mind (albeit at lower resolution).

These simulacra of ourselves that reside in the minds of others are also how I think of the afterlife and immortality.

1502 sats \ 3 replies \ @Natalia 5 Feb freebie

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462 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb

why I'm the child of my parent not the others? Is it really just random?

There's a related thought that I often have:

There are so many genetic combinations that if any event in all of human history had happened differently, you would not exist. Maybe some other person would have been born to your parents at the same time as you, and they might even have the same name, but they would be as different from you as a sibling is.

625 sats \ 1 reply \ @Natalia 5 Feb freebie

There are so many genetic combinations that if any event in all of human history had happened differently, you would not exist.

sounds like won the lottery ticket! then you met your partner, then the kid is born, then he /she met the one, and creates another kid...

and then each of our actions inspires or affects others, it's so crazy to even think about it - that's why it's nice try to have a positive impact on others, as you really don't know what something small you do might lead to. 🤯

and what do you think is the meaning of life?

I feel the whole human experience is like a database in a sense, human as a whole keep exploring what's possible in this realm, some managed to see and document their travels, which led to much learning and new discoveries; some discovered great medicine or composed amazing music, then all of these cool people paved the path and show what's possible for the late borns; so for me, the meaning of life is mostly learning, exploring, and passing down the knowledge, so others can do better with your experience, and of course to have fun in between.

865 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 5 Feb

the meaning of life is mostly learning, exploring, and passing down the knowledge, so others can do better with your experience, and of course to have fun in between.

That's as good as any other answer I've heard.

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854 sats \ 2 replies \ @elvismercury 6 Feb

When I was younger I tried to come up with a definition of love that I felt good about. It's a good exercise, bc when you dig in you get into all these pieces and have to ask yourself: is it this? Is it this? [1]

So there's lust, and that's an element in the early stages, but that's not it; and there's the instinct to social affiliation, but that's not it; and there's comfort-being-around, but that's not it. And then you've got the confusion of domains, where you can love ice cream, and motorcycles, and a good basketball game, and impressionism, and naps. Figuring out what are we talking about when we talk about love was non-trivial.

The most non-obvious thing I concluded is that there's an important sense in which love is about knowing deeply; and that, in the limit case, love amounts to a totality of knowing. In linear algebra terms, if you think of this as a principal component of love, it feels right. Many of those curious uses of the word have some aspect of knowing-ness.

Since it seems to fit reasonably well into your thoughts regarding telepathy, I present it for your consideration.

[1] It's good practice for thinking deeply about bitcoin, actually. You keep pulling the thread and more and more things unravel.

453 sats \ 1 reply \ @ek OP 6 Feb freebie

Since it seems to fit reasonably well into your thoughts regarding telepathy, I present it for your consideration.

Thank you, comments like yours make me believe that what I write makes sense to others and it's not just me trying to figure stuff out that is obvious to everyone else.

It's good practice for thinking deeply about bitcoin, actually. You keep pulling the thread and more and more things unravel.

It's probably good practice for thinking about anything, no? I think life might (also) be about just asking the right questions to the right people (including yourself) at the right time.

128 sats \ 0 replies \ @elvismercury 7 Feb

t's probably good practice for thinking about anything, no?

I think so, but I'm conscious of the audience :)

561 sats \ 2 replies \ @siggy47 5 Feb

A romantic coder! Who wudda think? Very nice, Mr @ekzyis. I'll read this one a few times.

526 sats \ 0 replies \ @Natalia 5 Feb freebie

A romantic coder who plays piano, much wow. 👀

292 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 5 Feb

I wonder if a more friendly Popescu would write something like this 👀

635 sats \ 6 replies \ @Natalia 5 Feb freebie

Life is about Awareness

I wrote about this before - what I discovered about myself so far, which is way more fun than endless consumption from the outside world.

Have you ever looked someone so deep in the eyes, you think you can read their thoughts and feel their emotions? And you are convinced it's the same for them? But you can't ask them in the moment since you know that this would destroy the moment; a moment so delicate, you're afraid you might miss it forever when it has passed? A moment that can pass in the blink of an eye? But also, you don't want to ask them since—as mentioned—you feel like you don't have to since they can read your thoughts. And when both of you smile, it's like smiling at an ephemeral inside joke that no one else would get?

So you just sit there, looking each other in the eyes, silently enjoying this intimate moment, blissfully (un)aware that this moment might be gone as fast as it came; but this is part of the magic?

not sure, but what I experienced is more like the person on the other side of the world could feel my sadness, like he contacted me exactly at the times when I was upset; quite strange, and it happened more than twice.

Maybe I don't want to describe love since I don't want life to be about love

that might be missing out lots of fun in life? 👀

I am still ignoring that I walked all the way here without even being sure if I want to buy a damn iced coffee.

I just learned how to make a simple latte at home, because the place where I'm in, no walking distant cafes.! ( you basically just mix coffee and milk damn easy, but I do understand that sometimes you go to the cafes is for the vibe. )

I am a person that drinks iced coffee because the sugar in it tastes good; it's something I can hold as if holding a cup of iced coffee gives me security in life and I like to look around and observe people and pretend that I have it all figured out and they haven't while I drink it; blissfully (un)aware of the contradiction in my hands.

that does sound really like @ekzyis 🤣

231 sats \ 5 replies \ @ek OP 5 Feb

I wrote about this before

where, on your blog? 👀

not sure, but what I experienced is more like the person on the other side of the world could feel my sadness, like he contacted me exactly at the times when I was upset; quite strange, and it happened more than twice.

Oh yes, that's also great! I think I had similar moments but then I would think I would remember them but I don't currently. Maybe I am trying too hard to remember 🤔

that might be missing out lots of fun in life? 👀

You mean if life is about love or not? I think if we see life as only being about love, we're missing out on other things. But then again, a lot of things can be described as "love". We can even love things and hobbies etc. haha

So love might just be a very convenient word.

I just learned how to make a simple latte at home, because the place where I'm in, no walking distant cafes.! ( you basically just mix coffee and milk damn easy, but I do understand that sometimes you go to the cafes is for the vibe. )

I used to make chai at home and I don't know why I don't anymore. I should have all ingredients still somewhere ...

that does sound really like @ekzyis 🤣

🦊

865 sats \ 4 replies \ @Natalia 5 Feb

where, on your blog? 👀

I removed it, not for public view now:)

You mean if life is about love or not? I think if we see life as only being about love, we're missing out on other things. But then again, a lot of things can be described as "love". We can even love things and hobbies etc. haha

I know you like arguing - life is def not about love, but love is part of the fun in life.

I used to make chai at home and I don't know why I don't anymore. I should have all ingredients still somewhere ...

My goal for this winter is to test how long I can "survive" with cooking my own food only instead of keep eating outside... 🫡

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ek OP 7 Feb

I know you like arguing

I like finding loopholes :)

life is def not about love, but love is part of the fun in life.

Yes, love can be very fun!

My goal for this winter is to test how long I can "survive" with cooking my own food only instead of keep eating outside... 🫡

Oh, I might join this test tomorrow. When was the last time you ate outside?

1569 sats \ 2 replies \ @Natalia 7 Feb freebie

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949 sats \ 1 reply \ @ek OP 7 Feb freebie

mine is a different way than yours; you are more like to argue, I don't like argueing with people,

I would like to argue about that! :)

I like finding loopholes to solve problems:)

Mhh, good point. I might indeed sometimes not be sure what problem I am trying to solve in arguments with some people 🤔

yesterday! 😂 I couldn't resist to eat a Tavuk Şiş ( chicken Şiş) , so delicious.

Now you need to learn how to make one on your own!

528 sats \ 0 replies \ @Natalia 7 Feb freebie

I hope, I'm more confident in making different veggies dishes atm, and I normally go out to eat meat, mostly kebap and kofe, so delicious - kofte is doable at home, but not sure about the kebab.

but then I keep thinking to myself, okay if I can figure Bitcoin, cooking shouldn't be that HARD! I think I've learned the base of most homecook Turkish dishes, cracking the code atm. 🤓

984 sats \ 1 reply \ @nkmg1c_ventures 5 Feb

I appreciate this post.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 7 Feb

I appreciate your comment :)

766 sats \ 0 replies \ @mallardshead 8 Feb

The big ambiguity around telepathy and love here only add to the beauty of the concepts. The not destroying the moment thing, man this becomes an art with age. At least it did for me. Maybe it was an emotional intelligence thing.

513 sats \ 2 replies \ @kurszusz 6 Feb

I agree with you! I consider this a very good article, it was a pleasure to read it.

Aallow me to object this statement: "A Perfect Life Doesn't Exist" I think the perfect life it exist, but no one lives a perfect life, because "dissatisfaction and not satisfaction motivates the consumer - John Maynard Keynes -. This mean that our life can't be perfect, because we all want / need the "next level" of preferencies to be satisfied. BUT... Our life can be perfect for another peoples (also for us it is possible to another people's life to be perfect).

This is just my opinion :)

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @ek OP 7 Feb

I agree with you! I consider this a very good article, it was a pleasure to read it.

Thank you :)

Our life can be perfect for another peoples (also for us it is possible to another people's life to be perfect).

Mhh, good point. But I think that's an incomplete view that these people hold. So it's saying more about how easy people delude themselves than about perfect lifes imo.

25 sats \ 0 replies \ @kurszusz 7 Feb

Mhh, good point. But I think that's an incomplete view that these people hold. So it's saying more about how easy people delude themselves than about perfect lifes imo.

Yes, I share your point of view! This demonstrate that majority of peoples can be manipulated easyelly, and they live in an "other world", and they are busy with other peoples life instead to work on how to make better their own life.

Thes peoples are usually very envious (jealous).

Life is about Awareness

Is Telepathy Love?

A Perfect Life Doesn't Exist

Footnotes