Studies have found that good listening has three key behaviors: offering attention, seeking understanding, and conveying positive intention.
Here are a few easy ways you can be a more present listener.
Give the other person your attention:
- Establish your capacity (“I have twenty minutes to talk right now, and then I will have to get back to work,” or “I need a bit of time to wind-down, and then we can spend time together!”)
- Try to minimize distractions (put your phone down, turn off the television, choose an appropriate time for in-depth conversations.)
Be curious:
- Summarize what they say (“It sounds like you’re saying…” and “What I’m hearing is…”)
- Ask for clarification (“Am I getting this right?”)
- Invite them to go deeper (“Could you share more about that experience?” or “What were you feeling in that moment?”)
Express care:
- Extend compassion (“That must have been so painful,” or “What do you need right now?”)
- Point out their strengths (“Your courage in that moment was awe-inspiring,” or “You always make me laugh.”)
- Share your gratitude (“This was such a great conversation," or “I’m so thankful that you opened up to me.”)
That was such a great post. How did it make you feel to write that?
;) thanks for the info!
Thank you, well. It's a team effort. So I believe it's the summary of our experiences and thoughts as a whole :)
It's really simple, we evolved to have two ears and one mouth for a reason. We are supposed to listen twice as much as we speak.
Really true fact, thanks for mentioning it here
Changed my day. Thank you!
🧡