I am thinking about divorce. My spouse is great but we don’t have anything in common. I am scared to grow old with that person. Should I leave?

No marriage will be everything you have ever dreamed of. That is called honeymoon phase and we all know that doesn’t last. Marriage requires continuous effort for eternity. Marriage, like anything else, goes through its season. Some seasons will be better than others and you will love each other more or less in other seasons.

I used to think it was important to have a lot in common at the beginning of my marriage but after having children, I yearned more than ever to have alone time doing the things I used to love doing. This has forced me to plan more me-time. I do not enjoy doing things with people who aren’t having a good time with me so I started doing my own things either alone or with friends. I also allow my husband to do what he enjoys with/without me.

What do you know? We both get along so much better now.

The biggest lesson learned? I realized it wasn’t my husband’s job to make me happy nor vice versa. It’s my responsibility to make myself happy and his to make him happy. Only then can we come together and share our happiness together.

We also do things together as much as we do things apart. We are both “completely” different from one another from our upbringing, to entertainment, sense of humor, hobbies, likes/dislikes to our perspectives. We hardly have anything in common and that had been a very troubling issue for the most part of our marriage which bothered my husband so much more for a long time.

It took a lot of tears, pain, and broken trusts for us to get to where we are today. At the end of the day, we share the same values. Surprisingly, we both even share the exact same love languages which is very rare in couples. I will tell you that values stays. Interests change over time. Couples who share the same value will have a much more fruitful and lasting relationship.

It takes TWO. No matter how perfect you believe you are, marriage is an investment. It’s 100/100. If there is no distrust, infidelity, abuse or drug abuse involved, be grateful for what you do have in your marriage and do everything you can to make it work.

You both made a vow “for better or worse.” Take them seriously. Try to remember what it was that made you both want to spend forever with each other.

Communicate, communicate and communicate some more. Never stop trying to find a strategy. Keep trying until you find what works, even if it may not be perfect. Only then can you say your marriage is completely broken and beyond repair.

Marriage is hard and there are a lot worse reasons to end it. But unless you have exhausted all avenue, divorce should be the last option.