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derivative stuff these days now,

that's a weird definitional question. No, they're selling a lot of preferred shares (mostly STRC, which is basically a high-yield bank account at this point).

hard for me to see an upside to it all, even if I were to want to play Wallstreet games.

if you see an upside to bitcoin, there ought to be an upside to MSTR. (Basically the best steelman I can make)