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Are you asking me, specifically, why I'm not not a believer in the safety/efficacy of vaccines in general?
If so, as a starting point I'd point you to the recent interview that Aaron Siri gave on the Dark Horse podcast (with Brett Weinstein). The interview was fascinating. It's not where I started, but it's a good intro and it's very recent.
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I'm not trying to be caustic, because there are circumstances where such reactions are sensible. In every case I can think of, it's something like:
All well and good. But a person might reasonably say: well, what if you challenge the original assumptions in step 1? What if you operate outside the given ubiquitous context?
Some of the more egregious anti-fat hysteria that swept up the cardiometabolic health space in the 90s especially is an example of this. (Okay, you've shown fat is terrible in these ways; but what if you're not also living a toxic modern lifestyle, then how bad is it?) Some of the excesses of financialization and fiat money that you're no doubt familiar with might be considered another [1].
Point is, there may be some anti-vax equivalent to this pattern that has a reasonable basis. If so, I'd like to hear what it is.
[1] It's also worth noting is that the responses to legit critique often turn just as pathological as the original problem. Any bitcoiner with a brain should be able to rattle off an infinite number of examples.