dealing with grief when everything keeps moving \ stacker news ~ideasfromtheedge

this is an awkward topic to write about, but I think it's necessary to get out of our comfort zones, to face what scares us

44 days ago I lost the most important person in my life, my grandfather (or actually my real dad) he was always that fundamental pillar in my life and the person I love the most, and now he's gone

It feels so wrong, he's not here anymore and there's nothing I can do about it. No one can do anything about it and everyone keeps on with their lives, like if he didn't matter, like he never existed. And that makes me so freaking mad, because he was important, he was kind, good father, good husband and good person. And I'm not trying to idealize him, because he had his flaws like everyone else. But I can't think negatively when it comes to him.

I guess I'm writing this because, first I'm such a writer and second I want to drain my feelings. I have special people I know I can talk to, but I'm tired of those pity looks and when I try to talk about my grandfather they just evade the speech and immediately talk about something else, like if they don't want to hurt me, as if stopping talking about him will make me feel better.

I don't want to stop talking to him and I don't want to forget him. Why doesn't anyone support me or try to understand me? I guess it's hard, I didn't understand grief either before experiencing it so closely.

I'm not trying to complain about anything to anyone, because I understand how hard it is to comfort someone when no words will make them feel better, when all they want is someone who is no longer here and will never return.

I would like to know your experience with grief, if you have experienced it and how you managed to learn to live with it or how you try to. If you haven't experienced it I'm so happy for you and one piece of advice I wish I had known is that it hurts more than you can imagine

If you got here, thank you for reading my messy thoughts. Stay humble, stack sats.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @rootmachine 7 Jun

Few people understand that true grief and grieving start after everything kinda settles in. When everyone starts to stop talking, when everyone seems to be continuing their lives. I was in your position. I lost my partner. You just have to admit that people bond differently and see bondings in their own way. Your loss is also their loss. Just at a different level. Nobody will be able to talk to you about your loss they way you want. People grief differently. Some need to speak out, some hold it in. Don't blame them for their reaction. Don't push yourself or anyone talking about their grief. Now you are too in, too suffering. You need your time to grief. For your specific case, when you want to grief, go talk with some of his friends. Tell the others that you want to talk about him cause you are missing him. Tell them that talking about is your way of grieving and respect the fact that some may not be able to open up the same way as you. He will always be there in your soul and mind. With opinions and laughs. In good and and in bad. Trust me on this: You will not forget him. Never.