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I'm going on a longer trip in the near future. In the past, often what I've enjoyed most of all has been the conversations with new people that I get into.
It feels like that's getting harder and harder, though. People are in their little phone bubble, not looking up, etc.
What are some non-creepy ways to break through to people, and have casual conversations again?
If you're on vacation, a great way to start a convo is talking about the place you're visiting. Locals are the best people to tell you about cool places to go.
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Ask strangers to take a photo of you. Most people will happily assist even if they're in their phone bubble.
The photo doesn't have to be anything special. The point is to start an interaction and break their frame long enough to focus on you (without being a jerk).
When you check the photo ask a question, give a complement, or share something about yourself.
Ask to take a selfie with them. If they ask, "why?", just say "I want to capture the moment I made a new friend".
Follow up with another question, complement or story to continue, or take the opportunity to leave on a high note.
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34 sats \ 0 replies \ @flat24 3 Jun
I once read that two good options can be:
  • The time: asking the time helps break the ice and is a good game for a friendly conversation.
  • The climate: Comment on the weather with some stranger also helps break the communication barrier. Note: a positive comment and loaded with good energies preferable. Nothing "oh what a bad weather today."
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The phones are making people more self-absorbed than ever before. Lean into that instinct -- be interested in them. Start casual asking how their day was. Figure out what makes them tick, what ruined/made their day and why, and let that inquisition guide the conversation. People are genuinely interesting, so it should feel natural!
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From reading your story, I would suggest looking for people that are not in their phone bubble. There may be only a few of them, but they will likely resonate with your personality. You can talk with them about how all the other phone-people are missing out on the real purpose of life - making new friends and experience something new with an open mind and no distractions. I hope you will have a nice trip and meet many nice people!
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Saying “Hi” — just kidding. Starting a conversation is hard; it really depends on the setting, the person’s style and demeanor. Usually, I observe the environment and try to find a common topic to comment on and create an opening. For example: music playing in the background, something showing on a TV, a shared activity like a party, or even being on the same means of transport heading to the same destination — weather talk, the classic small talk.
Come to think of it, this probably varies from culture to culture. I guess I find it easy because in my culture, that kind of openness is really common.
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Totally feel you. The phone bubble is real. What works for me is commenting on something happening around — like “Wow, this sunset’s unreal” or “That line’s moving slower than a snail today.” Simple observations often open the door.
Complimenting something genuine works too — “Hey, that’s a cool backpack, mind if I ask where you got it?” People love sharing about themselves.
Also, asking for tips or directions can lead to real conversations, even if you don’t need them — “Is there a coffee spot nearby you’d actually recommend?” feels way more human than Google.
Most people are more open than they seem. Just gotta give them a little nudge out of phone mode.
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Beer
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Normally "hello" or "excuse me dear" does the magic
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-Learn new words, -Talking about local food, -What can you visit? -Learn local history, -Learn social life, ....
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I used to hate small talk with strangers, but that's just because I'm naturally introvert, and the practice was just non existent in the society I grew up in. It's only very recently that I have realised its importance as a social tool.
I'm still not good at initiating, but I'm now so much more relaxed about it, when I find myself in the situation.
The breakthrough moment was when I realised that with small talk, it's the non verbal part that matters, and this little shift in perspective has dramatically improved my social life. Suddenly, It was ok to casually talk about the weather.
I sometimes compare small talk to a jab in boxing. As a boxer, you don't want to throw your uppercut or strong right hand straight away at the beginning of a fight, instead, you start with a jab. Jab, jab, jab... and then maybe the uppercut... or maybe not, and that's ok too, because at least you've had a workout.
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Here’s my take: I’d start with a quick, genuine compliment—maybe “Cool backpack! Got a treasure map in there?”—to break the ice. Or lean into the moment, like joking at a slow café line ... Asking for a tip works too—“You seem like a pro; any hidden gems around here?” It’s chill and gets them talking. To get them talking is the most important thing. One thing you must understand is people like to talk, specially about themselves. If you manage to get someone say about their story with a place, life, friends, and such, you've earned some points with them because people like the others who listen to them.
Everyone loves being the subject of conversation, praise and humour. Use empathy and jokes to break the ice and you'll get on well with everyone!
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