I mean... at this point it’s not Rock(ies) bottom, it’s Rock(ies) magma. 🔥

The Spiders are sweating in their graves watching this collapse unfold. Honestly, it’s becoming less of a baseball season and more of a historical experiment in how bad things can get before the simulation glitches.

Someone should start mining sats at Coors Field — with all this pressure, we might get some diamonds eventually... or just more losses. 💀⚾

Do we short the Rockies... or do we start a charity?