I took 1g of mushrooms on Saturday (previous post: #973341).

The plan was to take them on Friday, but I wasn't feeling it. Next time, it's going to be 2 grams.

Different taste. Around 7 am, I woke up, took a shower and ate a small piece of the mushroom, an earthy taste, but not strong or unpleasant, and at 8 am, I went to a small park near my home with my dog, 1g of mushrooms, an extra pack on my pocket, and a water bottle. I consumed the mushrooms. I let my dog play while I sat, listening to the birds. After about an hour, the effects began. I was staring at the ground, and the ants legs were creating wild, mesmerizing patterns. I noticed a João de Barro mud house on a branch, and it was strikingly beautiful. The effects hadn't fully hit yet, though.

There was a couple. It was around 9 am. This couple was drinking beer, Brahma (funny name for a beer), and arguing. I waited, but they didn't leave. The woman was ignoring the man, and he started doing handstands and karate moves to impress her. I found it both hilarious and sad. I wanted to share my mushrooms with them because I was having such a peaceful, joyful time. But then I realized their dynamic reminded me of my childhood, not the exact situation, but the pattern. Two adults fighting, and a kid trying to mediate. "They know each other better than I know them," I thought. So, I left. And that felt good. I'd always tried to fix things in my family, always the responsible one. I think that burden dissolved right there. Thanks shroomy.

Big garbage truck. The street was empty except for one incredibly loud garbage truck. Not only the machinery itself, but also the biip, biip, biip! as it reversed and parked. Why was that so funny? I tried to hold back my laughter and failed. People must be so distracted! An engineer, or maybe a team of engineers, designed an entire sound system louder than the machine itself to warn people that a 3 tons, dangerous stinky metal beast was moving! It felt like something straight out of Catch 22.

My room and my bed. I lay there. My dawg jumped up, dirty paws and all! But it was okay; I could clean later. I'm responsible. I played with him a bit. It was a little scary this time, his fur was moving wildly. I'd never seen him like this. Dogs are scary, they're friendly beasts, but genuinely terrifying if they feel like it. Look at those fangs!

I took some time to think about this post, planning it in English. I felt shy after scrambling some words. Why do I always feel ashamed when I'm having fun? "I don't need to feel shame, I'm learning! I should feel proud, actually." Well, that was sorted out quickly.

But I also feel shame when I go outside. Why do I frown (funny word, btw) when I go to the grocery store? Do I really need this façade of toughness? My default mode is happiness, joy, but outside, I feel the need to appear a little angry or annoyed. Why is that?

Happy faces and frowns. I realized John Nash was far more brilliant than we often acknowledge. We're playing a game on a global scale, and we have been since the dawn of civilization. It's a game between those who know we're playing and those who don't, or who disagree about the game's objective. Cooperative players versus... no, there is no "versus". Cooperative players and strictly competitive ones. Those who understand Nash's equilibrium and those who don't. People that know that the best outcome is achieved when we pursue what is best for us, and for the group, and those how think that only their bellies matter, sons and daughters of Adam Smith.

I think that's why I go outside with a frown.

To operate in a world where most people don't cooperate by default, I feel I need to blend in, or they'll take advantage of me. But by doing this, I'm lowering the average, I'm contributing to fewer happy faces. Maybe I'm assuming that most people don't cooperate. So, I need to be a bit more gentle and slowly shift the meta. Shame and negative feelings of judgment are necessary as a counterweight, but they don't need to be the norm. Now I understand the game, and I've been playing it wrong.

People who understand the game but choose manipulation and death anyway. I don't like these players. "Leaders", violent people, cowards. They know the world could be better, but they prioritize power over peace. They hate voluntary collaboration. Why is that? Maybe I'll understand another day.

After this, I cleaned my home, ate some gnocchi (we call it nhoque here), and messaged my mom. I panned on reading my last diary entries, but maybe another day. Now I'm looking for ways to get involved in charity in my region. I think that's a good move for the game.

I plan to took more mushrooms soon. Hi, @02a9a61fdc, you where very enthusiastic to read it, here it is! :) @zapsammy @Riberet @denlillaapan @Dkryptoenth