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I assumed it was just a random copypasta from the depths of the web and finding an author would be hard but it appears this is the author.
So credit goes to one Tom O’Donnell at the New Yorker:
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department
Without paywall:
https://www.removepaywall.com/search?url=https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/l-p-d-libertarian-police-department
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Amazing that it was written in 2014, when bitcoin was hardly mainstream
Guess that'd make it trickier to publish in the zine tho
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Great story! Personally, I think this would make a great piece for the zine @plebpoet, though probably only if the original author can be credited