“Weight loss? Oh, no, no, no. I don’t lose weight—I liberate stored generational trauma through intuitive movement, fermented rituals, and consent-based sweating.”

My Preferred Method includes:

🌱 Morning yoga on stolen land—with a land acknowledgment between sun salutations. 🧘‍♂️ Breathwork guided by a non-binary healer who only speaks in affirmations. 🌈 A raw, anti-imperialist, community-sourced kale cleanse (with reparations built into the pricing). 💃 Dance therapy set to eco-feminist drum circles where calories are burned in protest of colonial portion control. 🕯️ Shadow work. Lots of shadow work. Sometimes in a sauna.

Also, I only eat when Mercury is in a decolonized orbit. Anything else is capitalist hunger.