You hold the idealized scammer marketing version you want to be true, I hold the actual technical reality version.

If scaling MoE is your thing, there's Lightning on the protocol level, and custodians on the aggregation level. End of story.

Mints are neither, they're just inefficient databases sold by scammers attempting to distinguish themselves from other databases.

The shittokens are no different than any database record in that all you have is HOPE that someone will exchange you sats for it.