a couple of life events made me feel how change is painful. you might have read about my crown lengthening surgery in which I would have crowns installed to smooth over the ugliness of my worn-out teeth. besides this, i am in the midst of preparations for my house renovation. we recently finalised the plans with our interior designer - this effectively means that we have about one month to vacate our apartment.

ten years’ worth of possessions to be sorted out in four weeks. i can feel a cloak of despair coming over me. this week, I already went to my dad’s place twice to deposit my books and clothes.

i also think that it doesn’t help that decluttering involves shedding away part of my identity. there are shirts and tees that i still use, but when it comes to the crunch, i realised that i won’t want to pay for storage service or burden myself by transporting the stuff to my dad’s place. i threw away the staff t-shirt that houses my fond memories of my time working in an elementary school. or the funky shirt that I bought from overseas. memories that i don’t want keeping, but are not worth enough for me to fork out more money than necessary.

but i guess change is necessary. I can’t visualise my renovated flat now, but i should be grateful for the strenuous work I’m inputting right now.

maybe for an enhancement of our mental health, it’s a rite of passage to go through the pits.