Have you ever caught yourself judging someone based solely on “the old image” you had of them from years ago? Whether it’s a classmate who used to be playful, talkative, and constantly cracking jokes in class—making them seem less respectable—but then, one day, returns as a university lecturer with in-depth expertise, or a colleague who once botched their first project but has now become highly proficient at managing tasks.
How Do Old Images Stick in Our Minds?
Our brains tend to store “first impressions” or “striking events” as a frame of reference to judge people in the present. Very often, we even use these old notions to predict someone’s future. More importantly, we often resist new information or unfamiliar things that conflict with our existing mental frames. We feel it threatens our sense of security or comfort derived from what we’re used to—sometimes destabilizing our reliance on the old image we hold on to. Thus, letting old impressions guide our decisions becomes a shortcut the brain loves to use, especially in fast-paced daily life.
We all have the right to change and grow. The same is true for our image in the eyes of others.
Old Mindsets Make Us Cling to the Past
Consider a friend who once failed math but is now a professional programmer or the head of a development team at a large company. Or a colleague who was once seen as consistently making the wrong decisions but who has since honed their judgment skills and become the most astute thinker on the team. These transformations can happen to anyone who crosses paths with us in life.
People can develop and grow in ways you might never expect.
How Can We Open Our Minds to Accept Others’ Transformations?
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Ask Yourself More Often Each time you find yourself judging someone based on old impressions, pause to ask, “Is what I once saw or knew in the past still true?” and “How have they changed now?” You might also consider, “Do they have any positive qualities or changes compared to the old image I’m used to?” These questions encourage you to open up and seek new information.
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Observe Present Behavior Instead of holding on to past stories, try actively listening to their current opinions or watching their actions now. Look for progress or differences from what you used to think.
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Give Them Opportunities and Time Allowing someone the chance to prove themselves in new situations often reveals untapped potential or traits you never noticed before.
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Focus on the Present Rather Than Old Memories Don’t let their old image become a barrier to genuinely getting to know who they are today. The past may be just one chapter of their life, but it’s not the whole story of who they are now.
Opening your mind to see how a friend from the past has changed today—without defining them by the mistakes they once made—is another step toward developing a more mature perspective.
The More We Open Our Minds, the More We Learn
Choosing to embrace someone’s new self not only strengthens your relationships but also allows you to learn from and be inspired by their journey. Every change someone undergoes is a testament to how endlessly people can grow. As the saying goes, “Do not judge others solely by their past.” A colleague who once struggled might become an expert in a field you never imagined, or that high school classmate might grow into a teacher who guides the younger generation. This is the profound power of recognizing and accepting others’ potential to change.