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1055 sats \ 26 comments \ @Undisciplined 18 Dec alter_native

I wanted to share real quick something my daughter did that we were very impressed by.

We were at an interactive kids' event. Our daughter was one of the younger kids at it, but there were a couple of younger ones. Towards the end of the event, she won some extra prizes. They were just a bunch of cheap little trinkets, but it was obvious that the other kids were jealous.

I don't think she even noticed, and we certainly didn't say anything, but she immediately wanted to share her winnings with all the other kids. She walked all over the space looking for everyone, even kids who didn't know she had gotten the extra prizes, and gave a little bit to everyone.

That certainly didn't come from either of her parents. Her instinctive generosity is all her.

Are there any virtues you've observed in your kids that didn't obviously come from either parent?

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147 sats \ 3 replies \ @south_korea_ln 18 Dec

My son seems to be naturally outgoing and liking other people. Neither my wife nor I are like that. For me, it became a bit of an acquired skill, and I'm decently good at communicating with others, but it's for sure not innate. I'm curious to see how that will evolve over time, as he's still very young and unaware of the cruelty of the world~~

10 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

Our daughter is very loud and outgoing, clearly an extrovert. My wife is highly introverted and I'm at most weekly extroverted, so that's another thing she didn't get from us.

28 sats \ 1 reply \ @south_korea_ln 18 Dec

I'm at most weekly extroverted

She's more of a daily introvert?

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More seriously, I've noticed, mostly when it comes to my wife's negative characteristics, as she's trying as best as she can not to affect him with those, he behaves laterally opposite to her in the context of those character traits.

Luckily, he's acquiring most of her positive characteristics, i.e. he's very in tune with his emotional side. Something which definitely does not come from me :)

148 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

What an unintentionally accurate typo. I probably am only good for weekly exhibitions of extroversion.

34 sats \ 6 replies \ @DesertDave 18 Dec

Beautiful story. I believe being giving is a very natural part of being a human. Only once we grow up and learn otherwise do we feel the need to compete and be greedy. I have seen unconditional giving between small children often.

0 sats \ 5 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

I'm not sure I agree. In my experience, kids can be highly possessive. I suspect it's related to the relatively limited scope of things they have control over.

36 sats \ 4 replies \ @DesertDave 18 Dec

Depends on what they are exposed to. Even before they are 2, they are picking up behaviors from others. They can learn to be possessive quite young. But I don't think it is inherent to humans to be that way. Small kids don't even have a concept of possession and ownership until we teach them about it. We project on the them and teach them to "share" while also teaching them that things belong to them or others. That just my experience and opinion.

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

It's a nice thought. I tend to think all of our positive and negative traits are inherent. How strongly they end up being expressed is what varies.

34 sats \ 2 replies \ @DesertDave 18 Dec

Maybe. I think we project into our kids a lot more than we realize without even knowing it. Small children are very perceptive. And we teach them bad habits without knowing it all the time. Again, I don't know. It's just how I see it. And all is to say, you probably have done a good job parenting to have such a giving child. 👍

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

we project into our kids a lot more than we realize

Absolutely. Our daughter was a little bit slow in her speech development. Once she could articulate her thoughts, it was pretty astonishing how much she had been picking up on.

40 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave 18 Dec

My son was slow to speak also. He was just taking his time. He was a great observer. Maybe quiet children take a lot of information in because they aren't busy talking. That's how it was for him anyways. He was like me in that way. We all have our different gifts and processes.

77 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei 18 Dec

It’s indeed a proud parenting moment! She shows that she has empathy, which is a trait difficult to inculcate for naturally selfish preschoolers. Seems like you have your work cut out for you haha

I’m sure while you mayn’t be as generous as your daughter, you must have done enough sharing yourself for her to pick up this behaviour. So, a pat on the shoulder for you!

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

You're right, but only because "enough" is such a flexible adjective.

37 sats \ 2 replies \ @realBitcoinDog 18 Dec

Knocking a full plate of food onto the floor when we won’t give her more rice

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

I'm not familiar with that virtue. Is it an LA thing?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @realBitcoinDog 18 Dec

Anything for the abs

35 sats \ 0 replies \ @Msd0457890 19 Dec

Many times as parents we never cease to be surprised by how children always have very genuine, very nice attitudes or things that sometimes we didn't even know about. As parents, children are sponges; they acquire and absorb all those types of things, both positive and negative. That's why we must work so that what they absorb are positive things that turn them into integral beings.

43 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 18 Dec

Great Story! She'll be more generous than you for sure.

Her instinctive generosity is all her.

She's just her Papa's daughter so she doesn't need to learn, it hereditary.

I'm so happy that my daughter is already showing that she's more like me and unlike my wife.

20 sats \ 1 reply \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

She'll be like and unlike both of you, in more ways than you can imagine.

26 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 18 Dec

I've to agree with you. For now, when she's just 50 days old, she's like me because she's already trying to talk with all of us. My mom says I was the same. And my wife, she's way too less talkative.

39 sats \ 5 replies \ @grayruby 18 Dec

Great story. That's awesome that she intuitively wanted to share.

My son is incredibly patient. I don't think either my wife or I have that virtue naturally. We try hard to be patient but it seems to come natural to him.

40 sats \ 4 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

Because of peculiarities in my own family members, I've given a lot of thought to the subtle differences between patience, tolerance, and just not being annoyed by things.

I'd say patience is being willing and able to let things take time without getting agitated, while being tolerant is not getting upset by things you find irritating.

I'm curious which of these he exhibits.

33 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby 18 Dec

Patient more than tolerant. But he is quite tolerant as well. Now that he is a teen his level of tolerance seems to have dropped a bit but he is still quite tolerant for the most part.

40 sats \ 2 replies \ @Undisciplined OP 18 Dec

That's great. It takes a long time to grow out of that teenage irritability. Or, at least it did for me.