I try and break this I was raised by always being yelled at now I break the cycle and try and let my kids know what upsets me in a way we can discuss

Spread love!

Yes, or childless people growing old and lonely, when people around them start dying off.

In this specific case, I'm reminded of the work of philosopher Stefan Molyneux on parenting. He insists on the fact that adult relationships are voluntary, and has claimed that victims of child abuse can legitimately cut off their parents from their lives ("defooing").

In his own words:

De-fooing, or the act of separating from a destructive family of origin, is a deeply personal decision and can be considered appropriate in certain circumstances. It involves recognizing and addressing the negative influences and exploitation that may come from one's family. The decision to de-foo should be based on a careful evaluation of the relationships within the family and whether they are supportive or harmful. It is important to consider whether the family dynamics are preventing personal growth, happiness, and the ability to live according to one's principles. If a family is consistently undermining these aspects, then de-fooing might be a valid and necessary choice to ensure one's well-being and autonomy.

Molyneux is also the author of Peaceful Parenting (peacefulparenting.com), and I wholeheartedly share his great work here.

How much truth in just one image, and without a single word. 👏 I personally grew up in a similar environment, today I actively fight not to repeat the cycle with my daughters, trying not to lose control and to convey my ideas or process discussions without reaching screaming... I admit that it is quite complicated, but I love my family and I work hard to be able to improve and continue moving forward.

Thanks for sharing, it invites reflection.

Of course. That doesn't mean you never raise your voice or hold them accountable for their actions.

Bold of you to assume that I will grow old enough to be yelled at by my children

This is helping me consider my relationship with my parents and how things have worked out. Very interesting timing.

And I think this goes beyond just child-parent relationships. It's just not as a direct connection, not so obvious.

Thanks for the post.

Let's hope. My mom was a lot nicer to me than I am to her.