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I’d say you’re dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open.

If brains were dynamite you wouldn’t have enough to blow your nose

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I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people.

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You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy

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Most mistakes can be corrected. You are the exception to the rule.

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If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ

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You're so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry.

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What’s your excuse for being an asshole? Your dad touched your butthole in the tub?

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Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. What a shame.