Gf invited her 'friend' to our place - tell me why I was right to say 'no' \ stacker news ~AskSN

Gf invited her 'friend' to our place - tell me why I was right to say 'no'

399 sats \ 19 comments \ @Fiat_Revelation 15 Nov AskSN

Here's why I was right:

her friend is a dude (one of many red flags, which I won't get into for privacy) says she doesn't even remember his name - some friend lol I met him once - he was weird - making him a perfect stranger to me Already he stalks her at work (hangs around and chats to her without buying anything) PLUS A FUCKING HOST OF OTHER PRIVACY AND SECURITY CONCERNS

Then she pulled a 'how am I supposed to make friends if we can't invite people over?'

Come on SN, back me up on this one.

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171 sats \ 1 reply \ @SimpleStacker 15 Nov

Invite to stay at your place or just invite over for a meal / hangout?

Is a dude. If it's for staying over, that could be weird. But for a hangout, meh.
Doesn't remember name. OK, that's weird. Who invites people over who you don't even know the name of?
Met once, is weird. Not enough info here.
Stalks her at work. Uh.... why is she inviting him over then??

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fiat_Revelation OP 15 Nov

Without saying too much about it, he hangs around there and chats with her. I see it as stalking, but that might be me being harsh.

I don't want to put too much personal information here for privacy reasons.

21 sats \ 6 replies \ @j7hB75 15 Nov

Sounds like a breakdown in communication and expectations. Have you asked her why she is inviting him over if she doesn’t even know his name? That is very suspicious and a red flag to me. Makes no sense.

I suppose we don’t know how long you two have been dating and whether you’re exclusive or not. But perhaps that’s more info than you want to share which I understand.

11 sats \ 5 replies \ @Fiat_Revelation OP 15 Nov

We're in a long term committed relationship, so I feel I understand the reason. I didn't clarify originally, but the idea was his, which was to have dinner with the two of us. My girlfriend agreed to it to be charitable to him, because he is in a difficult spot. There's really no dubious intentions on her part, I know that's fairly certain.

I'm charitable, but not in my own home with someone I don't know. This could potentially be courting disaster. I can't invite him to know where we live without knowing him.

I trust her intentions, but not necessarily her character judgement. I feel it's my responsibility to be the one to put my foot down on this.

5 sats \ 4 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 15 Nov

Why don’t you suggest a dinner out? If your girlfriend is not interested in this person, it could do no harm and he might tell you his story. You might want to hear his story before forming too much of a determination about him. This goes as long as you are in a committed relationship and she is not looking for something on the side. If so, drop her.

3 sats \ 3 replies \ @kenn_b 15 Nov

perhaps your girl wants some triple action:)

1 sat \ 2 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 15 Nov

Not mine!!!! Maybe his, but it doesn’t look like it, to me.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fiat_Revelation OP 15 Nov

Not the case. Dinner out was my first instinct. Made the suggestion to her. If he's being reasonable, he'll understand someone not feeling comfortable having a work 'friend' over. Let's see where it goes.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 15 Nov

Yes, that is all you can do at this point.

270 sats \ 5 replies \ @zapsammy 15 Nov

dump her. that is absolutely unacceptable and disrespectful behavior, bordering on psychopathy.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fiat_Revelation OP 15 Nov

:'D

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @0399c7c83b 15 Nov

Which part of this is bordering on psychopathic?

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @zapsammy 15 Nov

the word literally means pathologic thought, incompatible with healthful reality and common sense.

the vast majority of psychopathy in people is acquired, by indoctrination. it is correctable and for these cases there is forgiveness.

however, there is such a thing as primary psychopathy, which somehow perpetuates itself through the genome, is very rare, and to realize that is very frightening, because it probably means that evil is inbred.

#thatescalatedquickly

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @Fiat_Revelation OP 15 Nov

I see the humour in your comment. I think this is a case of 'woman hospitable, man protective.' Probably a resolution lay somewhere in the middle.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @zapsammy 15 Nov

sure, put the guest in the middle! smile, tomorrow might be worse 😅.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 15 Nov

Did you ask her why she wanted to invite a dude she barely knows and you don’t know over to your house?