I have a warning to everyone that thinks they can wait till just before mom or dad or older relatives pass away, to talk to them.

And that's this - people usually experience significant cognitive decline, and/or lack of energy, in the decade before they die. They will likely not be able to have long discussions about family history, their background, anything like that.

I experienced this the hard way. I had an aunt that I spent a lot of time with when I was younger. She had wonderful stories to tell, and was eager to tell them.

I had always thought I would spend some extended time with her at some point in the future, getting her to talk about her past, jotting down notes, maybe even helping her write up up a very basic memoir.

And I actually tried doing that, but it was just a couple years before she died. And she just wasn't capable of putting any energy into it, even with my help. Also her memory wasn't the best anymore.

So - have these talks early!